Chopping Down the Stack.

It's more of like casually picking at it in a slow but steady manner.  I just like the way the word "chopping" sounds today.

I feel like I am starting to see daylight.  At least, a little bit.  I only have one thing left to do for tomorrow, which I'll get done as soon as I'm done blogging on here.  I still feel like I can't breathe easily, but that will pass.  This whole thing will pass.

It always does.

I think it's really going to help when the doctor gets my stuff figured out.  Granted, my pill won't be a cure all.  But it sure helps with my PMS symptoms, which are what's going on this week.

I had to change my speech topic.  I was going to talk about self harm and why you should reach out to those who do it.  I thought it would be good, both for the class and for me.  I thought I was ready to talk about it. 

I was wrong.

Honestly, there's no way I would make it through tomorrow if I was giving that as a speech.  I'm already a bordering basket case.  Why should I put myself though that?

So now I'm going to give a speech on why you should listen to classical music while doing your homework.  I don't know if it's going to be long enough or if it's going to be good, but it's better than the one I was going to give. 

I really do just want to make it through the next few weeks.  I feel like I'm barely treading water right now, which is a change from yesterday when I felt like I was drowing.  I think I can, I think I can, I think I can...

I'm going to take all these frustrations I feel from school and life and I'm going to write a collection of poetry.  Then I'm going to revise it a million times and try to get it published.  But before I get it published, I'm going to find an open mike session downtown and read them. 

I want to read my stuff outloud.  I've never wanted to before, but now I do. 

Maybe it's the weather.

Anyway, that's what's going on here.  Still trudging, still plodding, still chopping in a meticulous fashion that ants are jealous of.

Until tomorrow.

~Meaghan