What a Way to Start 2013

I know I'm a little behind, but things just keep piling up. :P

So, we had a water leak in our apartment.  Super exciting.  It started after Christmas and before the new year.  Lots of water, lots of moving things, a very loud de-humidifier making it annoying as all get out.

The apartment people were really nice about everything.  They thought they got the leak.

Yeah, last week we had water again.  Luckily, the leak is fixed for reals.  But we have many holes in our walls, the de-humidifer again, and nasty carpet.  The walls will be patched on Monday.  The carpet will be fixed....um...hopefully this week.

My boyfriend has been out of town visiting his mom, so he's missed most of the chaos.

As it turns out, my dad also got shingles on his face.  It's only on the right side, from below the eye up.  It looks awful and is very painful for him.  Not fun at all...

At least I've had my knitting.

And my family.

Friends have been AWOL except for a few.  I'm getting used to this.  It's more of getting a call or email when they want something.  Which is fine.  I'm not making calls or texts or emails anymore unless someone else initiates it.  I have too much stuff to do to deal with trying to pin down people.  It is what it is, you know?

(I sound like a bitter old lady.  Ugh.  I don't mean it like that.  I mean I understand that people move on.  I get it.  I'm moving on too.  It's the natural progression.  I'm not mad about it or hurt or sad even.  I understand. )

The few I have (I'm looking at you, Amy!) are awesome.  And really, I think I'm okay with this.  I don't like going out that much to be honest.  People are loud, places are loud, and there's so much gross energy out there right now.  (I had a migraine for over two weeks due to this.)  I am content. :)

So, now I'm trying to get things going with my knitting.  And I have a new blog, which you should check out here.  It's about my knitting escapades with lots of pictures.  (I finally figured out how to upload!)

Alright, that sums it up.  Migraine from hell is back, so I'm off the pc for a bit.

~Meaghan

A Blog of Lists, 2012 Edition

Well, 2012 is over as of Tuesday.  I am very happy about this.  It has been perhaps one of the hardest years I remember, not just for myself, but for many across the board.

But there has been a lot of accomplishments this year. :) Thus, the series of lists I now present to you.

Things I Learned in 2012:

~How to bake killer chocolate chip cookies

~How to open my own online store

~How to knit a sweater

~How to knit socks from the toe up

~How to hold a baby properly

~How to design my own projects, such as sweaters and hats

~How to write knitting patterns

~How to play with color

~That the world won't end when an ancient calendar runs out

~That I hate being bossed around in the work place

~That I dislike getting up before 5 am

~That babysitting is a joy

~That gluten free cooking is easier than you think

~That anniversaries are to be enjoyed cause it can be a struggle to get there sometimes

~That a lot of good things require work

~That I can handle a lot more than I originally gave myself credit for

~That family is one of the most solid things you will ever have (I already knew this, but 2012 solidified it even further)

~That comparing yourself to others only leads to frustration

~That God is kind

~That I love Mario Brothers for some reason

~That spinning is just as addictive as I feared

~That I am capable


I won't go into all the books I read in 2012 because the list is monumental.  However, here are a few I really enjoyed from the year and would recommend:

~Thinner by Stephen King

~Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

~The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzan Collins

~A Life in Stitches by Rachael Herron

~The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber

~The Elementals by Francesca Lia Block

~Love Wins by Rob Bell

~Knitting Rules! by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee


From a movie point of view, it was a pretty good year too.  Here are some I really enjoyed that I saw for the first time this year:

~Repo: the Genetic Opera

~How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

~The Princess and the Frog

~Tangled

~Lincoln

~The Men Who Stare at Goats

~The Dark Knight Rises

~Men in Black 3

~The Hunger Games

~Alien

~The Fifth Element

And of course, all the stuff I managed to knit.  It's not as big as you would think, but I hit a lot of my goals here:

~Fall colored merino socks (for me)

~Windowpane bag

~Green, violet, and pink wool hat

~Barfly sweater in blue (my first sweater!)

~Purple socks (for Trevor)

~Heart hat (my first design!)

~A single purple glove, no mate

~Purple handwarmers (for Michelle)

~Pink and orange varigated socks (for Katie)

~Cherry Cordial Cardi in green (for me)

~Yellow washcloth

~Red shawl (for my neighbor)

~Rainbow socks (for Katie, currently to be reworked)

~Handspun chunky cowl (with yarn spun by Kristine!!!)

~Keep It Casual Cowl

~Absinthe sweater in purple (for Katie, shoulders to be reworked)

~Green striped socks (toe up)

~Pink cameo socks

~Forget-Me-Knot sweater in violet (my first sweater design!!!)

~Two charity hats

~Three ruffle scarves

~A Link hat from Legend of Zelda (for Trevor, my make it up as I go pattern)

~A prayer shawl in light blue (for mom)

~Mr. Dad Cardigan (for dad, my own design!!!!)



So it's been a pretty good year from a productivity stand.  My wishes for the new year are that it brings more lessons, more love, and more knitting.

Blessings to you and yours, dear readers.  I'll see you in 2013.

~Meaghan

Nearly Christmas!

This past week, both of my parents have been sick.  My mom has had a cold and my dad has had the flu. 

Today, my body decided it was time to join the party.  I have caught mom's cold.  It's lovely - dizziness, aches, and yet, not as bad as it could be.  For which I am thanful.

So my bestest friend in the world came in town for the holiday with her boyfriend.  We met up yesterday for some serious catch up and knit time.  Lo and behold, she got me a drop spinner and fleece for Christmas!  Some of the fleece she dyed for me in a beautiful mix of green and purple, and some of it's a natural fawn brown.  While we were out sipping chai teas at the local bookstore, she taught me to spin.

I have since become addicted to spinning.  I have my first bit drying in the bathroom.  It's so amazing to make my own yarn.  I feel like a part of me that I didn't know was lacking has been found.

Which of course was what I was afraid of.  Knitting, spinning, writing - my goodness I'm busy with fun.  I just need to remember to do laundry and stuff and I should be good.

Oh!  So I have a knitting book outlined.  With any luck, this year I will have some new patterns and a book ready to go to the editors somewhere.  Need to research that.

And with that, I'm off.  I don't think I can focus much longer.

If I don't get the chance to later, Merry Christmas and happy holidays, whatever you may celebrate.  :)

~Meaghan

Click Click Click

Why yes, dear readers, that would be the sound of my knitting needles.

First of all, I'm not as sad or angry as I was in the past post.  I went to my local yarnshop and got help finding a free pattern for beanies and some yarn, and I knit the pain and sorrow over what happened this week away.  I was going to mail them to Connecticut, but decided to ultimately give them to the youth director at my church who will give them to the local homeless. 

Those hats did me well.  It's like all the frustration and sorrow for the year melted away.  It was healing.  Selfish as that may seem, it was healing for me.  And I am grateful for that.

All my Christmas knitting is done, with two exceptions.  One is a lace hat (made with this yarn, which I love) for my sister.  I wanted to have it done by Christmas eve, but we'll see.   The other is a lace scarf for my best friend (made with this lovely yarn in a color called Eggplant which is out); it's my first time doing lace with lace yarn.  Total challenge, but I love it.

I'm currently working on experimenting with Fibonacci sequences with knitting.  So today I cast on for a shawl (no pattern, just a whim) with four colors of Wool-Ease worsted, and am running with it.

Today is actually perfect knitting weather, too.  We're in the middle of a blizzard (yay) and no one has to be anywhere til later.  Both of my parents are sick, which sucks, but it's very quiet here.  (Aside from the coughing and sneezing.)  The tree is lit and I am as comfy as can be on the couch. :)

Life is good.  Balance has been restored to my world.

Take a moment today dear readers to remember your joys.

Blessings to all.

~Meaghan

Heartbreak

I can't articulate it.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I can't understand it.

Today, a shooter went into an elementary school in CT and opened fired.  28 people are dead.  At least 20 of those are children under the age of 10.

Children.  Innocent children. 

Kids who were looking forward to Santa coming.  Kids who played with their parents, pets, friends, siblings.  Kids who had dreams of growing up and being big kids and wearing make up and driving cars and being whatever they wanted to be.

Kids who will never see another day.

There are eleven days to Christmas. 

These children were our future.  Some stupid, fucking psycho went in and destroyed lives, futures, dreams, hopes.  He destroyed innocence. 

How can God let this happen? 

I am angry.  I am angrier than I was with the Batman shooting, which is saying something.  How can this be right?

I suppose there will be a reason this happened.  But for now, all I can see is senseless violence tearing apart the frail innocence and care of lives. 

And I am angry at God.

Meaghan

Noise

Hey there, dear readers.

Lately, I've been so full of confusion and chaos, it isn't even funny.  Where do I go next?  Should I get a full time job?  Should I go back to school?  Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing?

Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing.  I love knitting, designing, watching my neighbor's son.  But part of me is bored.  I don't know why.  I feel like something is missing; I miss being in school.

Which I guess is good enough reason to go back.  If I go back, it'll be online.  I crave knowledge, but not other people at the moment.  It wears me out being around too many folks.  Go figure that.

What will I do?

I've been praying so much about the jobs I've applied for, about direction and guidance.  But the noise in my head is so loud most times that I can't hear beyond my own anxious, racing breath.

How do you find a center?  How do you let the Devine guide you and ultimately trust that it will be the right path?

And these are questions that have no permanent answer it seems.  We live and love and trust, and deep in our souls we know the presence of that higher power, the one who steers us through the course of our lives.

I suppose the biggest thing is to breathe.  That's probably a good start.  Calm in, worry out.  Peace in, anger out.  Love in, bitterness out.

It's a mantra, isn't it?  I just realized that.  Counting breaths is like counting waves.  Calm.  Constant.  Echos of echos on the wind.

I digress. 

I think I shall take my own advice and go count my breathing.

~Meaghan

Owls

Early this morning, at about 3am, the local pair of great horned owls woke me up. They were calling back and forth to each other in the frosty November air, the female's soprano rising above the male's baritone, each a gentle call of love.

It signaled mating season. I listened for a minute, letting the calls wash over me before racing to grab my boyfriend, Trevor, from the living room.

"You have to hear this," I told him, unable to hide my glee. He followed me, unsure of what to find, as I led him back to the dark bedroom. He started to speak, but I shushed him. "Listen."

The owls began again. Question, answer. Question, answer. Choose me, choose me; maybe, maybe.

Trevor smiled at me. "Go," he teased with a shooing motion. "Be free, owl."

I shook my head and grinned. "They're mating," I whispered.

He hugged me then got ready for bed.

Later, laying in bed with his arms around me, I reveled in the owls outside, in their conviction of love. 

Great horned owls mate for life.  They don’t live together year round, but come together again to share a nest for mating season.  This courtship outside, the gentle voices of the owls reconnecting, is just the beginning.  There will be preening, the owl form of cuddling, and nest fixing.  Come February, they’ll both be taking care of chicks.  But once the chicks leave the nest, the owls part, searching for separate branches to rest on.

“If reincarnation turns out to be the way things go when we die,” I whispered into the dark, more to myself, “I hope I come back as an owl.”

Trevor yawned.  “I just hope I bump into you again.”

Carpal Tunnel and NaNoWriMo

Hello dear readers,

I apologize for the long absence.  In the past week, I have been diagnosed with carpal tunnel in my right hand.  The reason: too much writing and knitting.  So I've been having to give it a break.  (It'll be another week or two before I can knit again. =P)

I have decided this year to do NaNoWriMo.  It's National Novel Writing Month, and I have yet to complete any story, so I decided kind of last minute that it would be a good idea.

Is anyone else doing it?

It looks like fun.  I hope I can actually do it and get something written for once.

And now I have to go wrap my wrist again.

Until the next time.

~Meaghan

Don't Forget to Vote!

I know you're probably hearing that everywhere, dear readers, but it really is so important.

In the weeks that follow, we will be deciding who is going to lead the country for four more years.

Every vote matters. 

So please, make sure to get out and vote.  It's important.  Make your voice heard.

(And if you don't vote, you don't get to bitch about how the country is being run.  Remember that.)

~Meaghan

The Perils of Passing Out Samples

Hello, dear readers.

As you may or may not know, I work on the weekends passing out samples in the grocery store.  It's a fun job most of the time.  I get to talk to people, try new products (what's that?  Oh, a new soda?  Sure, I'll try it..), and make a pretty easy paycheck.

But it's not always fun or easy.  There are a handful of things that can really throw it off.  And so, I created a list:

1. Rude Customers
  
 It's like they expect me to bend over backwards for them.  They're the people who come up to the table and cut in front of everyone, grabbing without stopping.  FYI, due to health code, I have to hand the samples over.  If you grab one out of hand, not only are you showing a lack of respect for me and my position, but you're putting my health license in danger.  Not cool.  And seriously.  If you're going to get a sample, put the cell phone down.

2. Ill Behaved Children
 
 I'm not allowed to pass samples out to anyone under 13 without a parent present.  I did not create the rules, I only follow them.  That being said, when your kid comes up to the table while you're too busy looking at shredded cheese and takes five of one thing before I can stop them, it's really not cool.  And if you're the parent of the kid and you don't even have the courtesy of coming by and at least taking a coupon after that, then you aren't any better.  (You know who you are, and I'm watching you.)

3. Cranky Employees

 Yeah, it happens.  I had one case where I started to set up (where I was told to) and the manager came over, ripped my table cloth off my table and told me that I wasn't in the right place.  Totally disrespectful.  Plus you get cranky managers on the phone who make it sound like you're putting them out when you do the pre-call on Monday for a demo on Saturday.  It's not that I mean to make anyone's life harder; honestly, I sell product for them.  So, if you're a store employee, be nice to me.  Cause it's no skin off my nose if I don't actively make an effort to sell you out.

There you have it.  The trio of people that make my job hell.  I stand there for five to six hours, waiting to greet you with a smile.  The least you can do is be kind back.

So next time you're in the grocery store and see a sample person, my dear readers, at least smile and say hi.  It's the least you can do. =)

~Meaghan

We Have Internet Again!

And it has never tasted so sweet.

I'm happy we have internet again.  As I sit here in bed, sick yet again with another stupid sinus infection possibly mingling with strep throat, I am able to communicate to all you lovely readers.

How's it going?

So yeah.  We have interwebs again.  Pretty sweet.

Know what else is awesome and sweet?

My Etsy shop. 

That's what's sweet.  You guys should all check it out.  It's called Birdie's Boutique 2012 and it's run by my mom and I.  Mom does all the crochet, I do all the knitting.  Most of what we aim for is custom orders, but we do have things already made that you can buy.

I love how everything is kind of falling into place.  I'm not a millionaire, and I more than likely will never be one, but I'm so happy doing what I'm doing.

That's the point of life, you know.  Be happy doing what you're doing, being who you are.

And now I'm going to bed.

~Meaghan

Need Some Gift Ideas?

Hi there, dear readers!

I've done it.  I've opened a small craft operation on Etsy selling my knitted goods.  Here's all you need if you're interested.

On Facebook:

https://www.facebook.com/#!/BirdiesBoutique

On Etsy:

http://www.etsy.com/shop/birdiesboutique2012

Feel free to give it a whirl. :)

Next entry will be more interesting, I promise. I'm just tired of staring at my computer screen today.

~Meaghan

Holes

I woke up this morning, my dear readers, and had a bit of a surprise.  Not a good surprise, either. 

My favorite pair of knitted socks - the ones made last year with an autumn colorway of Koigu hand painted merino wool - has a hole in them.

Not like a little hole I can fix, either.  Like, a hole that requires making a new pair of socks.

(Which wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't lost the urge to knit for a few days.  Eventually this problem will be fixed and I'll be knitting again, but for now, I'm on a break.)

The whole thing - no pun intended - got me thinking.

Everything is made to wear out. 

Think about it.  Shoes wear out.  Socks wear out.  Animals and people wear out.  Furniture wears out.  Floors wear out.

And it goes beyond that.  Relationships get old and wear out.  Friendships get worn out.  Jobs and homes and families sometimes wear out.

Nothing is permanent.

But that's part of the beauty of it.  While they wear out, they usually just change.  Sometimes a friendship falls apart and a new one replaces it.  Sometimes a relationship wears out and becomes better for it.  Sometimes a job ends and a better one comes along.

Nothing is permanent.  Nothing here on Earth lasts forever.

No error is eternal.  No argument goes on for ever.  No mispoken word or wrong action will last. 

Instead, we learn from it.  We grow from it.  We let it fade and make new marks.

We weave new yarns together, so to speak.

And I, for one, am glad of that.

~Meaghan

Faith Without Dogma

I had a bit of a revelation this week, dear readers, and I've given it some serious thought before presenting it here.

I accepted Jesus.  I asked him to take over for me.  I had a conversation with God, if you will.  I felt the love, I felt the compassion, and I am so ready to be passing it on to others.

But there's a glitch in the system.  Maybe it's just me, maybe it's the whole system, maybe it's not a glitch at all.

I....have a mixed faith.

I believe in Jesus.  I believe in Grace.  I believe in the Christian view of compassion and love and caring for one another.

I don't believe in hell.  I don't believe in an angry God. I don't believe in strict rules with immediate punishment.

Which isn't to say I don't believe in evil.  I am very aware that there is evil in the world.  I see it every time I turn on the news and someone has been hurt by another for any given reason.  I see it every time a young person takes their life because they have been tormented for too long.  I see it every time there is war coverage.

I just don't see how there can be a hell for eternity.  That's all.

I still practice and love aspects of Wicca.  I love the respect and love for nature.  I love the energy that I can feel in my very veins.  I love the blessing of homes and of others.  I love the embracing of the feminine nature and of female energy.  I find it empowering and beautiful.

I still meditate sometimes.  I pray constantly.  I talk directly to God without going through saints or priests or mediators.  I still read everything I can get my hands onto.  I refuse to be narrow.

I believe in faith without dogma, in God without religion, in love and grace without exceptions.

By many definitions, I am not allowed to be called a Christian even though I accepted Jesus as my way.  Even though I've always talked with God and done what felt right in my gut.  Even though the Grace aspect comes from Jesus.

And in many ways, I am still conflicted about that, about names, about straight lines and fine print.  About the fact that I have to "define" myself through my personal journey.

Maybe it's no one's business.  Maybe it's just me, making it harder than it is, trying to voice what I can't understand, trying to understand a force and being that is beyond any of our mortal thoughts.

But I can't help but think that maybe, just maybe, there's some truth in there.  That if we were to stop pointing fingers and judging those around us, if we were to stop insisting that we are always the right ones and they (whoever the they may be) are the wrong ones, if we were to stop insisting in punishment if you don't belive one certain way,  that maybe we could focus on loving our fellow men and women.

 That maybe, we can focus on doing the right thing, on helping those who need us, on remembering to say a quiet prayer for those on the street corners and the woman in line behind us in the grocery store.

I am by no means an expert.  And maybe I'm wrong. I suspect there are many that think I am.  That's okay with me.

But I'm going to do exactly what I think.  No dogma, no pegging into holes, no pointing fingers. 

I'm going to love with my arms open and greet the new day without holding back from here on.  I will reflect that love, the love without a name, the love too great for me to even begin to explain. 

Will you join me?


~Meaghan

Well It's About Time

Am I right, or am I right? 

You know, we actually had the conversation about getting internet in our apartment again.  And my lovely boyfriend surprised me by turning out to be against it. 

Not having internet is all well and good.  I mean, I get a lot of other things done, like knitting and design projects.  I read a lot more.  I clean a lot more.  And I play my violin more, which is good.  (More on that in a few paragraphs, dear readers.)

But when it comes to updating my blog or anything else online, I'm really not motivated to pack my computer up and go somewhere with internet.  Today I'm at the library, so it worked out well.  I just find I have less motivation to turn my computer on.  It's odd.

So, as I've said before, that's why the long gaps between posts now.

Oi. Freaking. Vey.

Well, let's do this.

My mom's younger, estranged brother landed in the hospital due to his alcoholic tendencies.  They weren't sure he was going to pull through, but what do you know?  He did.  Then her best friend since high school was diagnosed with a very deadly form of breast cancer.  On top of that, my sister is going through a really hard break up of sorts with this guy she works with who is also ten years older than her but acts like a 12 year old sometimes.

It's been an interesting month, let's just say that.

I quit my job.  Yup.  Flat out quit.  I finally decided that working in dead end retail where I was talked down to by my boss and co-workers and where I could feel my brain melting out of my skull wasn't worth it. 

So what am I doing, besides the plethora of knitting designs and the occasional poem?

I'm teaching violin lessons.

I had two students, but the one I've had for over a year decided to quit.  It was a bit of a blow.  Out of the blue, I swear.  I had no idea.  (I'm trying not to take it personally, though it kind of feels that way.)

I've been thinking about going back to school.  I like to learn, I like to read, I like to broaden my horizons.  The only problem is what I would do.  I have an associates degree in creative writing.  Which was fun, but it really isn't what I want to do with my life.  I'm still feeling burned out from the classes and critics and everything else.

My original major was biology.  I had wanted to either go into astronomy or ornothology, the study of birds.  When I was a young teenager, I volunteered at this place called the World Bird Sanctuary and loved every minute of it.  The barn owl on the page cover was my baby, Tobin; when my family moved to Colorado when I was 15, they let me hold him on  my last day. 

(Sadly, he has passed on, but I will never forget him.)

So there's interest in going to school to get my science degree.  Maybe environmental studies?  I've been toying with the idea for a few months.

But then, I'm also really interested in religious studies.  I love reading about the different religions and cultures and faiths.  I like finding similarities and differences among them.  So maybe I would minor in that?

Another thing - what about textile designs?  Color and creation are a core part of who I am.  I live to create new knitted items.  And I love playing with patterns.

Ugh.  I don't know.  More thought, then narrow down, then enroll. That's what I'm thinking.

That really does sum up just about everything.  I'm thinking I'll try to fix my Twitter so I can actually log in again.

Until the next time, my dear readers.  Thank you for your constant patience.

~Meaghan

9:30 AM

The following is what I wrote this morning on my Microsoft Word:

Hello, dear readers.

Yet again, another delay in posting.  I think I don’t have any excuses, except perhaps the fact that I’ve been incredibly lazy this week. 

(No, seriously.  I haven’t made the bed, or done laundery, or really done anything except work, read, and knit. I’m not proud, but it is what it is.)

This morning was strange.  First of all, I decided to get on the scale.  I gained 0.4 pounds, which was a bit disappointing.  I know I can’t win all the time, but I wish I could.  As it stands, I’ve still lost over 14 pounds since April.  I now weigh what I weighed last summer.

Also, I woke up shaking so badly I could barely hold on to anything.  Mom wanted me to help her cut coupons, so I was attempting to use scissors and cut them out, but all of them were pretty rough. 

So naturally, mom thought it was my blood sugar.  I took it and was at 96, which is good for fasting.  I knew it wouldn’t be that.  The truth is, it’s a side effect of my anti anxiety medication.

The side effects have become increasingly worse since I’ve gone back to a full dose of the stuff.  The good news: My panic attacks are all but gone.

The bad news: I’m waking up every morning with shakes, I wake up at least 4 times a night, and I don’t really sleep anymore.

I’m trying to remember the last time I slept the entire night in a fullfilling sleep.  I think it’s been at least a month.  Granted, this week is strained because my boyfriend is out of town visiting friends and family and I’ve had to adjust to him not being here.  But even when he was here, I was still waking up at least twice a night.

It’s like I have to pick the  lesser of two evils.  I can have minimal side effects, but have regular panic attacks again, which is no way to live.  Or I can have major side effects, but be able to function most of the time.

I guess I don’t really need to sleep after all.

So after deducing that it was my meds, my blood sugar really did drop in a single swoop, leaving me with the familiar hot/clammy/jitter infested plummet.  One Coke later, and here I am, typing a pre blog on Microsoft Word because I know I won’t be able to upload it until later this afternoon.

It never ends.

Since my boyfriend has been out of town (it’ll be a week tomorrow, and then an extra week and a couple of days til he returns), I’ve been doing a lot of Meaghan things.  This includes knitting, reading (but not romances, cause those make me miss him more), going to work, meeting with friends, and hanging out with my family.  I’m also in the process of beating both Donkey Kong Country and Batman: Arkham Asylum.  I doubt I’ll have either done before he gets back, but they’re still fun to play.

I’m on chapter two of the novel I’m writing.  I’ve been trying to not be overly critical like I normally am with my writing.  So to achieve this, I haven’t been re-reading what I’ve written.  This means that when I pick it up to add to the next section, I read the last few sentences of the previous section and continue on.  It’s either going to prove to be brilliant (meaning I’ll actually finish my novel before the year is out) or it’s going to crash and burn like the plane in the opening of the Dark Knight Rises (if you haven’t seen it, then I didn’t spoil much – stuff always seems to explode in the beginnings of these movies).

Only time can tell.

And speaking of risks (which we were talking about, believe it or not), I’m taking a leap of faith with my business.  My mom has agreed to work for me.  We’re scouting out consignment places today, and hopefully will have this thing off the ground before the end of the month.  I don’t know how much I want to give away though.  I’m afraid to jinx it.

(Just know I am so thrilled about it that I can hardly contain myself.  With determination, luck, and hard work, I hope to one day open my own store front with this adventure.)

I know this is a long blog, but thank you for bearing with me.  There are so many things I’m trying to muddle through.  I feel like I can’t see straight at times.  But I know there’s a purpose for all of it, even if I can’t see it or understand it.

Thank you for listening, my dear readers.  Have a wonderful Wednesday.

~Meaghan

Weight Loss, the Ravellenics, and More!

Hi again, dear readers!

So the Ravellenics has kicked off and I am so excited to be part of it.  The cowl I started last night for it looks so beautiful so far.  I didn't know I would be so excited by the yarn.  It's Amazing by Lion Brand yarn, in the colorway Ruby.  So awesome.

My weight loss is coming along.  Back in April I weighed by heaviest: a whopping 217 lbs.  That's way too much on a build like mine.  My doctor recommened a few weeks ago that I go on a 1500 calorie diet.  I've been taking her advice and have been using an app on my phone to help me keep track of my calories each day.

It's amazing to me how quick the calories add up when you eat junk, but how much food you can eat if you eat good stuff.  Like, five of the gummy apple rings I love so much are 120 calories.  But for 120 calories, I can have half a cup of cottage cheese and almost half a cup of cantelope.  Mind boggling!

So far it's been working though.  I am happy to report that as of yester day, I weight 207.8 lbs.  My boyfriend has helped by motivating me as well.  As soon as I lose ten more pounds, I'll weigh what I did when we met.  When I get there, he's going to get me all the stuff to make this, somehting I've been wanting to make for a while.  He's also going to take me to a nice dinner. :)

Finally, I'm working on hammering out the kinks starting my own business.  It's got a ways to go, but I think the first step is going to be doing consignment this fall with my mom.  We're going to see about sell our yarn crafts at a consignment store.  I'm starting to stockpile at the moment.  (My cowl for the Ravellenics is going to be one of the things to go in.)

As you can see it's been very busy here.  Couple that with working five days a week, and I just don't have the crazy energy to blog.

I will do my best to keep you posted as things continue to work out, though.

~Meaghan

Prayers for Aurora

I know it's been a while, but it's been a crazy couple of weeks, and honestly, I didn't feel like posting.  Colorado has been through so much - I was at a different cinema with my boyfriend when the shooting took place during the Batman movie, but I had a friend who was in theater 8.  She's safe, but it's been pretty rough cause that's all the news talks about, and it did hit so close to home.

Prayers to all the victims and families.  I can't even imagine their loss.  The fact that it could have happened in our cinema makes me shake.  The fact that I had a friend in theater 8, and a friend who would have been in theater 9 had she decided to go (she was on the wall about it the week before), makes me queasy.

I think it shows that no matter what, you aren't safe anywhere.  So why hold back?  The one thing this tragedy should teach us all is that we need to live as if this day is our last.  Love no matter what.  Do the things that we think we can't.  Try what we've always dreamed of. 

And don't fear.  Never fear.  If we are afraid, then the gunmen in the world win.  The bad guys win.  And we can't let that happen.

So live life, my dear readers.  Live it without fear.  And please.  Keep Colorado in your prayers.

~Meaghan

Tired of the News

I'm going to start this blog today, dear readers, with an overview of where I stand.  Bear with me a moment.

Obamacare has been upheld by the Supreme Court.  I for one am thankful for that.  Under Obamacare, my mom and I (who both have pre-existing conditions that the insurance companies would love to deny us for) will always be able to get health insurance, even if my dad lost his job.  Before, we would be denied coverage.  And without insurance, my mom wouldn't be able to get the diabetic meds she needs, thus shortening her life expectancy drastically.

 I need my mom here with me.  And no matter what I do, I'm basically pre-diabetic and will develope it fully anytime in my lifetime.

Immigration makes my head spin.  Why is it so hard to let others come join our freedom?  Why is it so hard to allow those who want to learn and work become citizens?

Abortion shouldn't even be an issue.  It's between a woman, God, and her doctor.  Not the government.  Not the Christians.  Not the men in her life.  It's a private issue that has been blown up out of proportion.  Same with contraception.  The one Republican senator who said "Stick an asprin between your knees" is full of hot air; even if you deny contraception, teens and premarriage couples are still going to experiment and crave the urge to be close.

Gay marriage shouldn't be an issue either.  One friend of mine said that she didn't want the gays to call it marriage because "marriage is a Christian institution."  I have news folks.  Every culture, every religion, every walk of life has marriage.  It is not owned by one group of people.  What is everyone so afraid of?

I'm so tired of turning on the news and hearing one side against another.  I'm worn out from opening my Facebook account and seeing so much fear, anger, and hate towards each other.

When will we find the middle ground?  When will the ones who are afraid learn to open themselves a bit? 

And everyone wonders why I don't associate with a religion or political party.  (For the record, I vote independently - I've been known to vote for both parties based on the kind of job I thought they would do.)

~Meaghan

Everything At Once

I found out yesterday that we have ten days to move to a new apartment.

It's not that we're being evicted.  It's not that we're moving across town.

It's that we're getting a bigger apartment across our complex.

It's very exciting.  Katie will have her own room.  Trevor and I will have our own room, too, in exchange for paying our own rent to my parents.  It's going to be amazing.=D

So here's what's happened in the past week or two:

~Trevor got accepted to the school he wanted to get into
~I'm working 40 hours at JCP
~We're moving

Craziness!

And that's why I've been AWOL and will continue to be AWOL for the rest of June.

Enjoy the month, dear readers. =) Swim in your respective pools for me, please.

~Meaghan