I'm going to start this blog today, dear readers, with an overview of where I stand. Bear with me a moment.
Obamacare has been upheld by the Supreme Court. I for one am thankful for that. Under Obamacare, my mom and I (who both have pre-existing conditions that the insurance companies would love to deny us for) will always be able to get health insurance, even if my dad lost his job. Before, we would be denied coverage. And without insurance, my mom wouldn't be able to get the diabetic meds she needs, thus shortening her life expectancy drastically.
I need my mom here with me. And no matter what I do, I'm basically pre-diabetic and will develope it fully anytime in my lifetime.
Immigration makes my head spin. Why is it so hard to let others come join our freedom? Why is it so hard to allow those who want to learn and work become citizens?
Abortion shouldn't even be an issue. It's between a woman, God, and her doctor. Not the government. Not the Christians. Not the men in her life. It's a private issue that has been blown up out of proportion. Same with contraception. The one Republican senator who said "Stick an asprin between your knees" is full of hot air; even if you deny contraception, teens and premarriage couples are still going to experiment and crave the urge to be close.
Gay marriage shouldn't be an issue either. One friend of mine said that she didn't want the gays to call it marriage because "marriage is a Christian institution." I have news folks. Every culture, every religion, every walk of life has marriage. It is not owned by one group of people. What is everyone so afraid of?
I'm so tired of turning on the news and hearing one side against another. I'm worn out from opening my Facebook account and seeing so much fear, anger, and hate towards each other.
When will we find the middle ground? When will the ones who are afraid learn to open themselves a bit?
And everyone wonders why I don't associate with a religion or political party. (For the record, I vote independently - I've been known to vote for both parties based on the kind of job I thought they would do.)
~Meaghan
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label sad. Show all posts
Friday, June 29, 2012
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Keeping Busy
I miss my boyfriend.
Yes, I know the distance is not that great. Yes, I know that others have to endure worse. Yes, I know that being codependent is bad and that I should keep going on with my life.
But dammit. I miss him.
I've been doing everything I can to keep busy - going out with friends, doing my homework, spending time with my family, knitting like my hands are going to fall off. (I just have to do the collar of my sweater, and then it's done.)
It's not the same though. I miss seeing him, being with him, talking with him in person. I don't know what this says about me. But it doesn't matter.
To top it off, I caught my sister's cold. Everything hurts like hell today. And I still have to go to class.
Plus I have side effects from my meds again, so my body is trying to readjust. Not fun.
I just want to go home and curl up in a ball and cry until I fall asleep.
That has been my whine post. I'm going to buy some bright colored yarn this week and knit myself out of this crappy place.
The next update will be more optimistic, I promise.
~Meaghan
Yes, I know the distance is not that great. Yes, I know that others have to endure worse. Yes, I know that being codependent is bad and that I should keep going on with my life.
But dammit. I miss him.
I've been doing everything I can to keep busy - going out with friends, doing my homework, spending time with my family, knitting like my hands are going to fall off. (I just have to do the collar of my sweater, and then it's done.)
It's not the same though. I miss seeing him, being with him, talking with him in person. I don't know what this says about me. But it doesn't matter.
To top it off, I caught my sister's cold. Everything hurts like hell today. And I still have to go to class.
Plus I have side effects from my meds again, so my body is trying to readjust. Not fun.
I just want to go home and curl up in a ball and cry until I fall asleep.
That has been my whine post. I'm going to buy some bright colored yarn this week and knit myself out of this crappy place.
The next update will be more optimistic, I promise.
~Meaghan
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
I have to let it out
So, if you are expecting a nice little blog about how great everything is and whatever, forget it. This is your warning. I just need to rant like you would not believe, so if it bugs you, don't read it. You have been warned.
First off, let me just say that my life is not bad. Even though my dad works two jobs, my family of four lives in a small two bedroom apartment, and we are struggling in the economy like everyone else, my life is fairly easy and sheltered.
That being said, I am so stressed about what I am going to do with my life that I feel like I am going to explode.
I think part of the problem is not that I don't know what I want to do (I want to eventually be a teacher), but that everyone keeps telling me what I should or should not do. I am actually getting to the point where I want to start screaming at people to leave me alone or to take their opinions and shove them you know where.
I'm not sure I see a point in life, to be honest. You get born, you go to school where you make good grades so you can go to a good college so you can get a good job and get married and have 2.5 kids and then you grow old and die. If you think about it, there really is no good reason for us to be here. Humans as a whole do not benefit anything; rather, we destroy the earth and environment and cause discord and war amidst ourselves. It makes no sense at all to me.
At the same time, I want what everyone else wants - I want to find people who love me for who I am, I want to get married and have that level of closeness with someone, I want to make a difference for whatever it is worth.
And so I am torn as I look at colleges. If I go away, I have the ability to meet new people and try new things. If I stay, I can see how things are going to go with the people I know and the things I know. Change scares me, and yet change is inevitable.
Which brings me to relationships. I have no idea where I stand. No, wait, that's a lie. I know where I stand, I just don't know where everyone else stands. There is a boy that I have known for a few years and even though I know that I shouldn't, I still like him. I have tried everything to get over him, and yet I keep coming back to liking him. I think he likes me, but he is so dense in the arena that I seriously doubt anything is ever going to happen. And yet I want something to happen so badly that I seriously cry about it.
I am so sick of always being the single one in the group, of feeling alone even when surrounded by a million people.
Granted, I could just change my stand. I could try to see the positves of being single. I try so hard to be optimistic about everything, that included, that I feel like I'm not only trying to convince everyone around me of it, but also myself. It feels like a mask and I am so frustrated trying to figure everything out.
But things are going to get better, right? And if they don't, then maybe I'll learn to like the clouds or something. Until then, though, I just want to scream, cry, and throw myself off a cliff.
But I won't.
Because I really do want to see how things are going to play out. But I do need the stress to go away. My hair is so thin right now that I am concerned that it's never going to grow back. I have trouble sleeping, and I am almost always tired.
And that was my rant. I'm not even going to apologize for it, because it's my right to scream every once in a while when I can't handle everything life has dished my way.
Have a nice night.
First off, let me just say that my life is not bad. Even though my dad works two jobs, my family of four lives in a small two bedroom apartment, and we are struggling in the economy like everyone else, my life is fairly easy and sheltered.
That being said, I am so stressed about what I am going to do with my life that I feel like I am going to explode.
I think part of the problem is not that I don't know what I want to do (I want to eventually be a teacher), but that everyone keeps telling me what I should or should not do. I am actually getting to the point where I want to start screaming at people to leave me alone or to take their opinions and shove them you know where.
I'm not sure I see a point in life, to be honest. You get born, you go to school where you make good grades so you can go to a good college so you can get a good job and get married and have 2.5 kids and then you grow old and die. If you think about it, there really is no good reason for us to be here. Humans as a whole do not benefit anything; rather, we destroy the earth and environment and cause discord and war amidst ourselves. It makes no sense at all to me.
At the same time, I want what everyone else wants - I want to find people who love me for who I am, I want to get married and have that level of closeness with someone, I want to make a difference for whatever it is worth.
And so I am torn as I look at colleges. If I go away, I have the ability to meet new people and try new things. If I stay, I can see how things are going to go with the people I know and the things I know. Change scares me, and yet change is inevitable.
Which brings me to relationships. I have no idea where I stand. No, wait, that's a lie. I know where I stand, I just don't know where everyone else stands. There is a boy that I have known for a few years and even though I know that I shouldn't, I still like him. I have tried everything to get over him, and yet I keep coming back to liking him. I think he likes me, but he is so dense in the arena that I seriously doubt anything is ever going to happen. And yet I want something to happen so badly that I seriously cry about it.
I am so sick of always being the single one in the group, of feeling alone even when surrounded by a million people.
Granted, I could just change my stand. I could try to see the positves of being single. I try so hard to be optimistic about everything, that included, that I feel like I'm not only trying to convince everyone around me of it, but also myself. It feels like a mask and I am so frustrated trying to figure everything out.
But things are going to get better, right? And if they don't, then maybe I'll learn to like the clouds or something. Until then, though, I just want to scream, cry, and throw myself off a cliff.
But I won't.
Because I really do want to see how things are going to play out. But I do need the stress to go away. My hair is so thin right now that I am concerned that it's never going to grow back. I have trouble sleeping, and I am almost always tired.
And that was my rant. I'm not even going to apologize for it, because it's my right to scream every once in a while when I can't handle everything life has dished my way.
Have a nice night.
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