Hi again.

So you know that test I took last week that I was pretty sure I failed? Yeah, I was right - I got a 58 on it. Go me. And that was the lowest grade I hae ever made since starting college.

Until today, when I got my math test back. Yep, I made a 42 on it. I rock, can you tell?

But -

There is hope. I stayed up until midnight last night writing and perfecting a bio paper on transgenic crops for today. It's 11 pages long and chock full of stuff, so hopefully I'll at least get a C on it. And the math final? We reviewed for it today in class and I know almost everything that is going to be covered on it. I just need to brush up on a couple of forumlas and practice using them a bit, and I should be able to rock that test so hard that I get an A on. There's no guarentee that I'll be able to do that with my bio test - I'm not entirely convinced I understand everything in class - but I'm going to study hard for it and see if I can pull it out. I only have another week of school after this.

I put in my notice at Sylvan. I was offered a position at Einstein's Bagels and was told they are going to work with me so I can become a shift supervisor by the time I graduate school. They are starting me at what I'm making now, and I'm starting at the bottom, working my way up. I know I have ranted about Sylvan a number of times here, but I really do have mixed feelings about leaving. I think Einstein's is where I'm supposed to be, just based on how quickly everything worked out (I start on the 11th), but I'm still pretty attached to the people I work with at Sylvan. They kind of became like a second family to me, and I feel like leaving is slightly bittersweet.

What else? Oh, I had the biggest meltdown I have had since high school this weekend. My mom was really worried about me. It ended with her having to help me schedule out my time so that I can actually get everything done. Cause otherwise, I won't and it will be bad. I have to say, though, that I am still feeling the effects of the meltdown. Even as I type this, I feel slight hysteria building. As long as I can keep it together and not cry while I'm here, at school, then I will be okay. Things are looking better - I still can't look past today, though. It's too overwhelming.

My friend ditched me today. Which is fine, cause I actually think I payed more attention in class without her trying to talk to me during lecture. I know that sounds bad, but still. I think I'm going to eat lunch alone - she's really social and I don't have the energy to be a social butterfly with her and her friends.

Ok, I think that about sums up everything. I made a new friend on this MST3K forum I'm on - she's close to my age and it's kinda fun to have someone to talk with about MST3K and other things my friends and family think I'm nuts for.

I gotta go - I need to do math homework and get some bio reading done before lecture.

Until next time, Cyberland,

~Meaghan

Failure to Launch

That's how my brain feels. I just spent an hour on a math test where I couldn't remember anything except to put my name at the top of the paper. I seriously almost started crying in class cause my grade is at the lowest it's ever been and it's so unlike me to let it get like that.

Yeah, it adds to my week of awesomeness. Let me give you the run down:

So, on Tuesday, I had a bio test, which was brutal. My mom got onto me about my grades a little, and I was reminded that I had to get my meningitis vaccine on Wed. morning. Which I had completely forgotten about even though I was the one who made the appointment.

So Wed. I got a shot and my arm still hurts. Today, I bombed this stupid ass math test.

But-

I changed my major so now I can relax a little. I got signed up for fall classes, and they are all classes that I want to take (Music Appreciation, History 122, and Creative Writing), and I got my financial aid paperwork done, so I don't have to stress myself out because I don't have enough money to cover semester.

And I am healthy, my family is healthy, my sister and I are back to being on pretty good terms, I get to babysit tonight which translates into watching Jurassic Park II with a five year old for the millionth time (maybe I'll actually get to see the end this time...), and it's raining. I love the rain.

So I really have no right to complain at the moment. They are just grades. They do not define me. As much as I know this, I still freak out about them. I'll get over it. Eventually.

Completely random tangent, I just realized today that I have like five different passwords for things. How do I keep them straight? I don't know, I just do.

Ok, that's all for today.
Until the next whiny blog,

~Meaghan