A Lack of Road Signs

I feel like I'm riding along through an unmarked area.  There are no road signs telling me which way to go.  Anyway I go will be fine, but each will lead me to a different place.  Those places are unknown.

Hmmm.

My sister just got accepted to the four year school of her choice for the fall.  I am so very, very happy for her.  She has had her heart set on it for the past few months.  It is incredible.  She's so excited.  I haven't seen her this excited for anything in a very, very long time.

I got back from visiting my boyfriend in Boulder.  It was the best thing all semester.  We stayed in a hotel, ate delivery, went to the Pearl Street Mall, visited a yarn store, talked, watched movies, etc.  It was incredible being so close.  When I left, we both cried, me more than him.  I felt like Rose from Dr. Who in the Doomsday episode.  All I wanted was to go back.

And thus the cross roads.

I have been told that if I go to a four year school, I will be more employable.  But my major would probably be English.  And honestly, I'm completely neutral about it.  I'm neither excited nor unexcited about the prospect of going to school for a few more years.  It's more "Ehhh."

If I get a full time job, I can save, live at home, get a car, and then work on moving out.  I can move in with my boyfriend or move near him to give both of us a support structure and routine.  I like this idea, but I'm not ready to work full time at the moment.

So what I think I'll do is keep the job on the weekends that I currently have.  I'll spend as much time over the summer as I can with the people I care about.  And then come July or August I'll decide what to do.

Maybe I'll have some road signs by then.

~Meaghan

I have made my choice for college.

I finally decided. After agonizing over a decision that should have been easy to make, I realized last night that I was too concerned about what everyone would think about me depending on what I chose for my higher education. Well, this morning I realized that I don't actually care what anyone thinks, I have to make the decision that works best for me. And as of now, that choice is to go to a community college for two years to get me on track for a teaching degree and then to transfer to a four year college for the last two years.

The pros of community college right now far out weigh those of immediately going to a four year school. First of all, I have been out of high school for almost a year now. Also, I was homeschooled, so I never go the feel of the classroom setting. Going to a community college will get me back into the feel of homework and get me used to the classroom environment.

Another thing is cost. If I go to Arapahoe Community College in the fall, I have enough saved up to pay for my first semester entirely by myself without relying on my parents. I know they have said they would be more than willing to help me with college if they can, but I also know that we are barely scraping by right now. The less I can ask of them, the better I would feel. I also think that I would probably work better and focus harder if I was paying for my own education.

Plus there is my job. I love where I work right now and I want to be able to keep it going for as long as possible.

A lot of people have to told me that they wished they had gone to community college for their first two years, or that they are very happy that they went to a two year school. I think that they have a good point, because going to community college for at least a little while is going to help me keep my student loans and debts to a minimum.

A lot of other people have told me that they fear I won't get the "full college benefit" if I live at home for another two years while I go to school. All I can say to these people is that I am such a dork and bookworm anyway that I probably would spend most of my time studying and not going out, much like I do now. I don't understand why everyone is so concerned about the socializing part of school (it was the same way with a good chunk of people I knew while I was being homeschooled). That's not why I am planning to go to college. I am going to go to college so that I can become a high school teacher of some sort; currently I'm looking at English or lit, but I have not ruled out Biology or American History, either.

I do appreciate everyone's opinion about what I should do with my life, but ultimately this is my choice to make based upon my personal situations and feelings. Therefore, I must make the choice that is going to work for me. I feel I have made that choice.

If anyone has any questions for me, feel free to ask.