It's 10:53 PM My Time...

...which means that no matter what this blog time thing may say or what zone you are in, this is the update for Feb. 3, 2011.

(I'm determined to do this.  A new blog each day for a whole flippin year.  So far, so good.)

I got my feedback and critiques back for the speech that I gave on Tuesday.  I was four seconds short on time.  If I had gotten those four seconds, I would've aced the speech.

That's right.  I would have gotten full points.

So it's going to be ok.  This class is going to be ok.  Giving speeches is not going to kill me.

Also, you guys remember how I was having all that heartburn trouble and the doctor gave me some pills to try? (That sounded wrong, but I don't care.)  Well I am happy to report that they work.  I have been heartburn free since I started taking them.  I can not tell you how nice it is to be able to eat whatever I want without having to down a bottle of Tums with it. 

It is freaking amazing.  No heartburn at all.

The only side effect that is driving me nuts is dizziness.  I only feel it when I'm extremely tired (as in, sleeping hardly at all or about to fall asleep) or this past week from being sick.  I had no idea being sick made such a difference, but it totally does.  I got so dizzy in speech class today from the combination of pushing myself, the heat of the building, and my medication.

It's a side effect I will take gladly.  I would much rather be heartburn free.  And, as said before, it's not like I feel it all the time.  Just when I'm massively sick or overly tired.  I'll take it.

I wrote a poem for my creative writing II class.  It's a narrative poem written from my point of view.  I wrote about being sick and tied it in with the Bubonic plague.  I have no idea where the plague idea came from, but it came from somewhere and wedged itself into my poem.  For good or for ill?  Only time shall reveal the answer.

I forgot how much I love creative non-fiction.  Maybe I'm a combination essay writer and short-story author.  I don't know.  I hate being up on the fence about two things that I love.  At the moment, though, creative non-fiction is winning out.

Still don't know about the contest I entered.  I think I should know soon though.  I'm still kind of hoping to win, but there is so much good talent here; it's kind of intimidating.  But if I don't win, that's totally cool too.  It just means I enter another one down the road.

Also, I saw three owls tonight.  It totally gives me hope for things to come.  All three were Great Horned Owls, two male and one female.   (You can tell by the size; the female is huge compared to the males.)  All I have to do is keep praying, trusting, and living the life that I enjoy.  At the moment that includes going to school and living at home.  Things are going to be good.

And on that note, I'm going to leave you.  It is now 11:05 PM. 

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

Long Story Short...

...I'm exhausted.

It was a bit of a long day.  I'm dog sitting for my neighbor.  Before she left, she gave me a heads up - her dog was throwing up earlier.

This is the dog that I'm terrified is going to randomly die on me while I'm watching her.  So the fact that she's sick and I'm watching her for the weekend freaks me out royally.

So I've been monitoring her; she doesn't want to really eat, move about, or do much.  She seemed much more energetic tonight than she was this morning.  I'm going to take that as a good sign.  All I can do is take care of her to the best of my ability and pray that God takes pity on me and doesn't let her die in my care.  I don't know what I would do if she did.  I think I would cry and feel awful.

I did, however, get the outline for my first speech written while watching her.  I think it's going to be a decent speech - I'm going to talk for three minutes or so about my violin and how it plays into my life.  I feel good about it.

I went to the doctor this morning.  I ended up seeing the RN who shares an office with my doctor.  I have a prescription for an anti-acid medication that is stronger than the over the counter stuff that I'm going to start taking in the morning.  The RNs big concern is that I'm either suffering from acid reflux or an ulcer. 

So if this medication doesn't work, I'm to make an appointment to meet with a G.I. doctor to have a tube stuck down my throat to see if I have an ulcer or not.

Um, yeah.  Tell that to the glasses that I've had for four years and the six cavities I need filled. 

Hopefully the meds will work.

And today my mom got the contact information for where her older brother - I'm pretty sure that makes him my uncle - is.  She contacted the shelter he's at where he's turning his life around; I may get to know a part of that side of the family after all.  It's very surreal.  The only person on that side of the family that I've met is my great-aunt, who's a nun in Kentucky.  I've seen the pictures and heard the stories; but the fact that I may meet someone else is such an odd feeling.

I think it may be ok.  I'm going to pray though.  I don't want my mom to get involved in anything that's going to hurt her; if that's what this is going to do, then I want nothing to do with it.

And now I have homework.  I'm wiped, but I'm supposed to do forty-five minutes of journaling each day for my writing class.  I'm pretty excited about it.

I just need to wake up a bit.

Until the next time, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Heart Burn and Nerves and Sleep Deprevation...

...Oh My!
Hello again, dear readers.  Yet another blog update.  Aren't you proud of me for not keeping you in the lurch for long, gapping periods of time like I did last year?

(No, you don't have to answer that if you don't want to.  It's perfectly ok.  I promise.)

Anyway.

So I have to be honest for a moment (but really, when am I ever not?): I am exhausted.  I think I got a total of like five hours of sleep last night. 

And before you ask, no, I wasn't writing my awesome story.  I wish I had been. 

Instead, it was my heart burn kicking into over drive.

You see, dear readers, I am the kind of person who takes a lot of stress onto themselves.  I've heard it called the "oldest child syndrom", but really, I just want to take care of everyone.  I want to support my parents and protect my sister and be there when friends need me.  Plus, I have a tendency to stress needlessly about things I really don't have any control over, like final grades in school.  School, as much as I love it, is a huge point of stress for me.  I get nervous before class, especially when a new semester is about to start and I'm not sure I'll know anyone. 

I range from introverted to extroverted, and both come out when I'm at school.  It can be a blessing and a curse, let me tell ya.

I realize that a lot of what I worry about is senseless, and that it's out of my hands most of the time, but I still get anxious.  Granted, I'm getting better about it, but it appears that the damage has already been done.

I get heart burn now on a regular basis; so far, I've had it almost every day for nearly five weeks.  Sometimes it's really mild and I'm able to just drink some water to get it to leave.  Other days, it's much worse and nothing works - not water, not dairy, not Tums.  I've tried vinegar water; I've tried sleeping elevated and on my left side.  It's really bad.  I am actually getting to a point where I can't drink Coke because it causes it to flair up.

It woke me up this morning at about 2 am thinking I was dying.  I was unable to go back to sleep until close to 5 am, only to get up again about 8 am to do laundry. Not okay with me.  Not okay at all.

I'm actually going to start researching tea for this very problem.  I want to see if there is anything I can drink to ail my problems, such as the heart burn and the trouble sleeping; I like tea, so it shouldn't be a hardship.  So far I know that peppermint is good for the stomach.  I just need to know if there are any others that could help.  Then I need to test them.  I promise to report back with any important findings.

(I'm also calling the doctor on Monday.  I kept pushing it off because I hate going to the doctor.  But I don't think I can push it off any longer; my mom and sister both think I've developed an ulcer.  I really hope they're wrong.  I'll keep you guys posted.  And please, don't worry, ok?  I think I may just have acid reflux or something...)

So anyway, I'm kind of tired today.  It leaves me prone to things, like thinking too much about my story.  I can't write if I think too hard about it.  That's not the way I function.  Blah.

On a happy note, I am at over 1300 words now on this new story project.  That's pretty good.  I really want to see it through to the end.  I hardly ever finish any stories; I write them in spurts and leave them to rot.  Or ripen, depending on how you want to look at it.  This one is different; I feel potential.  I feel like it is going to be a good story, and that it will also make a good movie script.

Not to be overly ambitious or anything, but it never hurts to aim high.  I'd rather aim high and fail than not aim at all.

But we shall see.  My goal is to have it done by the end of the summer.  I think I can pull it off.  I really do.

On an entirely different note, I have seven movies to watch before Friday.  That's when they are due to their respective libraries.  I finished one yesterday.  It's called "the Jacket" and was fantastic.  I wasn't really sure I was going to like it, but I loved it.  It's about a war vetern from the gulf war who gets put into this center for delusional criminals for a crime he didn't commit but can't remember.  Through the experimental treatment they perform on him (they basically bind him in a straight jacket, load him with drugs, and then put him in a body drawer - I know, I cringed too...) he discovers he can time travel from the now (it's nearly 1993 at the beginning of the movie) to the future (2007). 

It was amazingly well done.  The script was fantastic;  I am a fan of books and scripts with well written plots and rounded, developed characters who you can watch grow.  The one thing that I thought was going to turn me off of it was the fact that Keira Knightley is in it.  Nothing against her, but the only other thing I had seen her in was "Pirates of the Carribean", and I felt she kind of fell short there. 

Here was a different story.  I felt her acting was spot on and I could really sympathize with her character even though I had mixed feelings about her.  Adrien Brody was also in it as the main character, Jack, as was Kris Kristofferson. (I love pronouncing his name; it almost jingles...)

 I did feel extrememly uncomfortable the first time Jack got shoved in the body drawer, but I'm pretty sure that was what they wanted.  All in all, it was the kind of movie that I could not stop watching and that I would totally watch again.

Which means I have six more movies to watch before Friday.  I want to try to get through all of them before Tuesday, just because I have school on Tuesday.  And no, I probably will not be doing movie reviews of any more of them unless they are over-the-top amazing.

Did this blog make sense?  I'm so tired I don't even remember what we started with.

Time to go look up tea.

~Meaghan