Random Blog from School

Man, you know it's near the end of the week when I can even come up with a good title for this blog post.  How sad.  Oh well.

So I'm blogging from school again today.  Different set of circumstances this time, though.  Last time my instructor let the class out 45 minutes early and I was using the school computers.  This time I brought my own computer to school and am doing this over my break instead of re-vising my speech for Tuesday.

Don't get the wrong impression.  I'm a fairly good student; I'll get the speech re-written before I have to go to my next class.  (Ironically enough it's my speech class.  Huh.  Coincidence?  You decide.)

As I'm sitting in the student area on the second floor, I am struck yet again by the dynamics here.  You have the popular nerds (yeah, it sounds weird but it's true) who sit in a group on the couches making a ruckus as they carry on their business.  Then there are the studious types, camped out by themselves with paper, pens, textbooks, and computers, trying to get things done before their next classes.  There are the loners (most with headphones in, some turned up overly loud), the misfits, the groups of two, etc.

It's like my version of high school.

I thought social lines turned to ash when one entered college or "the real world".  I always assumed that everyone would be able to get along, that cliques would no longer exist as people learned that things like clothing, money, and status no longer mattered.

It appears I was wrong.

Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing.  Surely there are times when it can be.  But for the most part, it is mainly just interesting.  I always thought college would give me the feeling of truly belonging.  It has done that.  At the same time, though, it has merely solidified the notion that I am partly an outsider.

Part of this may be on my end.  I like to mind my own business.  I don't like being the person to just randomly go up to someone and introduce myself in the hopes that we can be "friends".  I'm not that naive.  I know it doesn't always work that way.

I don't know.  Just some thoughts.

On a completely different note, before I get too profound here, it is a beautiful day here on the Front Range.  The sun is shining, which makes the snow look actually beautiful.  The mountains are highlighted; if you've never lived in Colorado, let me tell you this one simple fact: the mountains look blue.

Being a Missouri native, I never thought much about how the mountains looked.  So when we moved out here all those years ago,  I was pretty surprised.  They are blue and "fuzzy" due to the trees.  Very odd, very pretty.

I had a test in my psychology class that I completely forgot about.  I'm fairly sure I failed it.  I'm trying to get some form of motivation for the class but I just don't have it.  At leas the final project is going to be interesting.  I'm doing mine on anxiety disorders.  It's a fairly short paper (my paper for history last semester was so much longer than any of the papers I'm doing this semester) and a power point presentation.  That might prove to be a little tricky, but I think I can do it.

And I think that's enough rambling for today.  I have some extra time before my next class, so I'm going to overhaul my speech.  Giving speeches makes me so nervous.  It's not really the speaking in front of everyone; I do improv, so I'm used to being in front of groups of people.  It's more the preparation and making sure I know what I'm talking about.  That's the hard part.

But hey, it's a necessary evil.  I can handle it.

Until we meet again, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Why am I doing this blog thing again...?

I think it started out as a way to get my writing published in some form or another. Then it morphed into a way of reminding myself that I actually do have a life outside of work and family. And then it became a way of proving to myself that I really am a procrastinator at heart. I mean, the last time I updated this thing was back in October and here we are, the end of December. *sigh*

Anywhosit -

Today I am blogging because I have the jitters. No, it's not from an overabundance of caffiene. And no, it's also not because I've been watching a marathon of Star Trek and MST3K since November. (Although, that may be contributing, I don't know..) It's because of a social situation that I am about to be subjected to that I am jittery.

It's the company Christmas party.

I know, I know, it's really not a big deal. It's fun, actually. And I work well with everyone (at least, I think I do for the most part) and I like everyone I work with and I really do enjoy them all. But social situations like this make me so nervous for no apparent reason. I know it's a safe environment, and no one is out to get me, but I'm so afraid of doing something wrong.

Maybe it's just because I'm 19 and I still sometimes feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin, like a woolen sweater that's just a bit too hot and itchy. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to being the quiet shy girl that I haven't gotten my subconcious to understand that I am beyond that. I really don't know.

Maybe I'm afraid I'm the only one not bringing a guest. : (

Anyway, I'll survive. And I'll do it with dignity and my head up high. Or, at least however much dignity I can find. Aw, who am I kidding? Dignity is soo over rated!

On a lighter note, I have been watching an insane amount of MST3K. Let me emphasize INSANE here for a moment. It's gotten to the point where I am wondering what my life was like before Joel and the Bots and how I ever managed through finals without them. Cause really, that's what it started as. My improv group that I play with was horrified that I had no idea of what MST3K was ( as it turns out, I did have memories of a talking gumball machine watching movies - apparently dad watched it when I was little) and so I was encouraged to youtube it.

It is freaking amazing.

No. Seriously. If you have not seen it, go watch it now. Really. I'll wait. If anything, watch for the host segements. And make sure you watch the ones with Joel in them - he's freaking adorable; it's like the Bots are his kids or something.

So the week of finals I was stressed out anyway, so instead of studying, I started watching MST3K. Yes, I said it, and I would say it again. I HAVE NO REGRETS! Haha, okay that was a little melodramatic, but whatever. Anyway, it has sucked me in. Which is good, cause these sort of things always seem to happen when my life is at a time of utter monotony or stress; they give me something else to focus on for a while besides my own mundane routines.

So naturally, my brain is a little loopy now. Not that I really care, but I'm just saying... Come to think of it, I don't actually remember a time when my brain wasn't loopy. Such is the life I suppose.

Anyway, I have a cake I have to go frost for this thing tonight. I do believe this is the longest blog I've done in a very, VERY long time. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it (or at least found it fascinating), and if you haven't, well, too bad.

I'm gonna try to break the spell of procrastination. I mean it this time - college is making me focus more. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe?

Later Cyberland!