My Brain is Exploding.

But hey, at least graduation is nearly here.

That's my excuse every time I get on Minecraft between classes.  I'm nearly done.  So I can play with my sheep.

(If you don't understand, google Minecraft.)

I've been making a mental list of all the knitting projects I'm going to finish.  It is as follows:

~Surprise for my sister (I'll reveal after her b-day)
~Red shawl for my neighbor
~Green and gold shrug for me
~Pink baby blanket for a friend of mine's grand kid
~Bluegreen alpaca lace shawl for me

Plus I really want to make that tunic for my sister that I created last week.

And I need more socks. 

As does my boyfriend.

And I really want to design some wicked cool stuff this summer.

All I want to do this summer is listen to music, spend time with the people who matter, knit, design, knit what I desgin, collect more paint chips from Home Depot, and swim.  And work my job on the weekends.

Ahhh. 

Two more papers.  Then capstone reading, humanities award ceremony, graduation ceremony, and graduation party.

And then breathing.

~Meaghan

They've Updated My Blogger Thing

So that's what happens when you vanish for a while.  Stuff gets updated.  Interesting...

I want eveyrone to know I have no idea where this blog post is going.  I've done homework off and on all morning, much like I have the past week, so my brain is a bit on the fried in. Which is fine.  I think I need to stop thinking for a while anyway.

I can not wait for summer.  Two more weeks of school (one paper, two finals, a capstone reading, and various other things) and then I get to graduate!  Oh geez.  Graduation.  I'm thrilled and terrified.  Absolutely.

People keep asking me what my plan is for when I finish.  I don't have one.  I don't feel like I need one.  I mean, whatever I'm supposed to do, I'll get there eventually so why get myself worked up? 

(On the other hand, I like having plans, but don't tell them.)

I'm really ready to go swimming.  Really and truly.  Swimming, pool, summer, lemonade, bbq, margaritas - summer sounds fabulous.

And that's all I have for today.  Keep it real, my peeps. :)

~Meaghan

It's Saturday...

...and it is amazingly hot here in Colorado.

I feel like I should like July.  I mean, my birthday is in it and all.  But no.  The heat kills me.  I have this sock project that I've been working on and it's been so hot today that I haven't had the energy to work on it.  That's how hot it is.

School starts soon.  I'm excited to an extent.  It's my last year before I graduate.  I'm a little sad to be leaving, a little nervous about finding a job, and exteremely excited to continue on with my life.  (The next few years are going to be awesome.  I know it.)

So many great things have happened at school.  I've made friends, made good grades, and meet my amazing boyfriend.  I also discovered my passion for writing. 

Good things.

And one can only hope that good things will continue to happen.

I would write more, and maybe make this entry better, but I'm exhausted.  Stupid head. =P

~Meaghan

Sunny Days

It's really hot here. 

The sun is up, the sky is hazy, and the temps are around the 80's and 90's.  I personally like more of a breeze myself, but that's just me. 

Still, summer is welcoming me with open arms it seems.  At this rate, I might actually get a slight tan before it's all said and done.

My sister is sick again.  There is nothing worse than being sick during the summer.  Add trouble sleeping and coughing to already hot weather, and it's just asking for discomfort.  I feel for her.

My mom too, actually.  She's also fighting something.  Both of them are just trying to rest as much as they can.  Which is good.  They both need to get well.

I don't want to catch it.  That would suck.

I hope your Tuesday is going well, dear readers.  Enjoy your summer day!

~Meaghan

June Already?

Wow. 

May just flew by.  Anyone else feel that way about it?  It's like it was there one minute, then gone the next.  Crazy.

Not that I'm complaining.  I really enjoyed the month of May.  It was a great month here.  School got out, I got a great boyfriend and fell head over heels, my sister graduated high school, then she got her black belt, and then she turned 18. 

Busy but good.

I'm looking forward to June.  I'm going to be teaching a class of 6 or 7 year olds at VBS, my sister is having her graduation party, my friends and I are hanging out, and I get to spend plenty of time with my boyfriend.  It's great.

So summer has turned out to be quite good so far.  Even without a job.

Let's hope it stays that way.

Enjoy the start of June, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Summer Days.

So I haven't found a job. 

That's ok,  though.  I've decided I have the rest of my life to work, so I'm going to enjoy what I have right now.  I'm going to spend time with my family, spend time with my friends.  I'm going to sleep in, stay up late staring at stars, and dance in the rain.

Frankly, it's been a lot of fun and we're only two weeks in.

I forgot how much fun it was to just relax.  To let myself act my age instead of trying to be mature and grown up all the time.  To let myself be goofy.

Yes, there are times when maturity are needed.  But for now, I just want to act like a 20 year old.  I want to have fun.

And I am.

I hope the rest of you are enjoying your summers so far, dear readers.

~Meaghan

I MISSED A DAY!!!!!

My challenge has been broken.  I could have sworn I updated yesterday about snow and whatnot, but apparently not. 

This is rather disappointing, actually.  But, if you think about it, I did pretty well for the most part.  I mean, it's May and I've only missed one post.  That's pretty good.

So here's today's exciting post of excitement.

My final grades got posted.  I made straight A's again this semester.  Considering how the semester started off, I think this is incredibly impressive.  I somehow got my butt in gear and made it happen.  No complaints here.

I bought a new swimsuit today.  Normally it's an activity I dread, but the first one I tried on was perfect.  It's a blue one piece that makes me look slim and, dare I say it, lovely.  Now I can go swimming this summer without feeling awkward.

Tonight, my boyfriend and I are going out to dinner with our speech class.  It's going to be a lot of fun seeing everyone and catching up.  And just celebrating surviving the semester.  Then he and I are going to go see a movie.

I still can't believe how happy I am right now.  I'm on a bit of an emotional overload, actually, which is both nice and exhausting.  I slept like a rock last night - that hardly ever happens.  The weather outside is beautiful right now, and I'm having fun. 

And on that note, I'm off.  Enjoy your evening, dear readers.

~Meaghan

First Kisses and First Dates.

Yesterday was an amazing day.  After thinking about it, I have decided to share with you, dear readers, why it was so amazing.  Don't worry, there won't be a lot of detail.  (My dad does reads this, after all.)

So, let's start from the beginning.

I was in a public speaking class this previous semester as you will probably recall.  It was a lot more fun than I expected; heck, any class that gives me an A for presenting about zombies and the end of the world gets points in my book.  But that's not the whole reason why it was fun or important.

Insert: The Group Speech.

So, I normally have a huge adversion to group projects.  I mean, you either get stuck with a sucky group that makes you do all the work (been there, done that) or you end up with a group where no one can decide what they want to do (also been there, done that).  I wanted to be in a good group, so I asked one woman if she would be in a group with me.  She agreed, then asked a fellow student to join as well to make a group of three.

Insert: Trevor.

Trevor is this wonderful guy who is smart, funny, and likes to read.  He also has a killer smile, although I might be biased at this point. :) Also, I know I don't normally use names here, but this is different.  This is so very, very different.

If I'm being honest with myself, I didn't really notice him as anything other than a classmate until about a week into the group speech prep when I had probably the worst week of my entire semester.

Insert: The Meltdown.

It was a Tuesday when I broke my perfect attendence in public speaking.  I had a mini panic attack; I needed out of the school, pronto.  It was my third day in a row crying and I started before I even left the building.  I ended up crying the whole way home, and I couldn't understand why I was feeling so crappy.  It was awful.

The following Thursday, I saw Trevor sitting at a table on the fourth floor that would later become a hang out point for us.  Feeling idiotic for missing class, I went over and apologized, then asked if I had missed anything vital.  He filled me in.  And then he did something incredible.

He asked me if I was ok.

And when he asked, he was genuinely concerned.  I hadn't really had that happen before.  Sure, your family is genuine when they ask you, but a guy who barely knows you?  That's rare.  It made me feel better about things, even if I couldn't figure out why.

Insert: The Growth of a Friendship

As the semester passed and as we worked on our group speech, I had the opportunity to get to know Trevor better.  We found things we had in common: books we had read as kids, music that we both like, our families.  He was (and is) a gentleman; he opened doors, gave me rides home, texted me goodnight.

It wasn't too long before I started thinking about him as my best friend.

And it wasn't too long after that when I began to think of him as possibly more than that.

Insert: Hesitation

Now, I have had issues with guys in the past.  It's not anything against them.  It's just that I'm a germ phobe, a space freak, and a bit insecure about myself at times.  On top of that, I've been burned what feels like a million times in the past without dating any of them.  None of them fit me.  None of them understood me.  All of them were...wrong.  And it hurt.

Hence, hesitation.

It took me several days to sort out how I felt about Trevor and about the idea of dating him.  Was I ready to commit to something like that should it come up? Could I balance everything? Would I be able to still be myself and not lose my identity? 

More importantly, could he handle me?  Space issues, germ issues, history behaviors including mood swings.  It's a lot for someone to take in.  Was he even interested?  I couldn't bring myself to put it all out there; if he didn't feel the same way, I would have been crushed.

So I played it safe, focused on my grades, and talked to him nearly every day.

Insert: The Start of Summer Break

The last day of school, I attempted to lay it all out.  It didn't go the way I had planned, but he didn't reject me.  Instead, he gave me a somewhat hint saying that his princess wore glasses.  I figured that was a good thing.

We talked the whole weekend and he invited me to hang out with him yesterday.  We made plans to get lunch, go to one of my favorite parks, and watch a movie.  I picked "You've Got Mail" to watch, partially because I love it and partially because I wanted to see what would happen.

I didn't have to wait that long. 

Insert: The Park

There we were, sitting on a bench at the park, overlooking the beautiful scenary around us.  The wind was blowing, the sky was open, and honestly, I felt incredibly content.

He asked me how I felt about him.  I told him, and one thing led to another.  And then...

He kissed me.

Yeah, I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me out a little at first.  But that passed very quickly.  He was very gentle with me, the way that I needed it to be.

And then he asked if he could be my boyfriend.

Obviously I said yes.  I would have been crazy not to.

And that is what happened yesterday.  We had a blast hanging out and spending time talking.  I honestly could not be happier right now. 

Apparently he's liked me a lot longer than I liked him.  What can I say, I'm a fairly confused individual most of the time.  It takes me a while.  The reason he waited was school - both of us needed to finish the semester strong, and this would have gotten in the way initally, I think. 

I'm glad he waited, though.  I have this feeling that I would have taken off running like a scared rabbit if he hadn't.

He was totally worth the wait. :)  Totally and completely.

~Meaghan

Summer!!

It's the first day of summer break.

So naturally, my body decided  I needed to wake up at five this morning on my own.  You know, even though I was allowed to sleep in.  Lovely.

But I'm not complaining.

I have a baby sitting gig this afternoon, so I might take a nap between now and then.  Other than that, I basically plan on knitting Harry Potter scarves most of my day and maybe doing some writing.  I love not really having any responsibilities right now.

Next week is my job interview.  I'm pretty excited.  I should have no trouble getting hired.  And working with clothing has the potential to be incredibly fun.  =D

I think I'm going to try to go back to bed now.

~Meaghan

Last Day!

This is it.  This is the last day of my spring semester.  As soon as it's over, I can go home and do nothing for a week.  Summer can begin.

I'm feeling optimistic about this summer.  Maybe it's the weather, maybe it's the promise of fun, or maybe it's just the fact that I'm not going anywhere.  I really don't know.  But I plan on actually making the most of this break.

Right now, I'm bored out of my mind.  I don't have my middle class and I forgot my book today.  I knew that would be a mistake.  It's like Murphy's law - if you have it, you don't read it, but if you don't have it, you'll wish you did.  At some point I'm supposed to meet up with one of my friends, but he's tied up with homework, so I don't know if that's going to end up coming about.

Oh well.  There's plenty I can do still.  Like finish updating this.

I'm really excited about not having to do homework for a full three months.  I love the writing, but I felt like most of my stuff wasn't my best this time around.  I'm ready to be working on things that I love and care about.  My stories, my collection of poetry, my knitting.

It's just going to be nice. 

I have a babysitting job tomorrow.  That should be fun.  It's only for a few hours, so I think I'll survive.  No extra issues with the dog the last time I watched her, so that's a good thing.  And then I can kick back and enjoy my weekend.

I'm a little nervous about my job interview.  It's not for another two weeks, but still.  I have like five dates that I need to have off; I hope they can let me have them.  I hope I get the job. 

I hope summer doesn't blow up in my face.

But let's think about happy things.  There's no snow on the ground, the sun is shining, and I'm wearing green.  It's going to be a good rest of the day. =)

Enjoy your Thursday, my dear readers.

~Meaghan

May the 4th Be With You.

Happy Star Wars day, my fellow nerdy readers!

It's a beautiful day here.  The sun is shining, the breeze is blowing, and my homework is nearly done for the entire semester.  Then the fun of summer can begin.

I finally have a job interview.  It's over at Macy's.  I'm pretty excited.  Provided they don't work me to death, I think it can be a fun job.  Plus, they have the cutest clothes and I might be able to get a discount, which is nice.  We'll see how it goes; I'll keep everyone posted.

Tomorrow is my last day of school for the semester.  Provided I don't screw up between now and then, I'm going to have my 4.0 again.  This makes me immensely happy.

And now I get to go finish up what I have left.  Afterwards, I plan on knitting until my fingers fall off and reading until my eyes blur.  Because that sounds like a plan to me.

Welcome, summer.  Welcome. =D

~Meaghan

Challenge Time

Today, I'm challenging mother nature. 

Oh yeah.  It's May 2nd, it's Colorado, and while there's talk of snow on the horizon, I'm doing the unthinkable.  I'm wearing my flip flops.

I don't know what it is about flip flops that I love so much.  Part of it is the ease of access with them - slip them on, slip them off; no hassle.  If I want to feel the grass between my toes, I just have to kick them off.  No socks required.  And I can show off my blue nail polish, too.

I think the other part, though, is what they represent.  Summer, warm weather, time with friends.  Relaxing and doing nothing.  Being mellow.  Anyone else get that vibe from flip flops?  Or sandals in general?  They are the ultimate relax shoe.

This is my last week of school.  I'm pretty happy about it for the most part.  I think the only thing I'm not excited about is not getting to see my friends on a regular basis.  But that's where summer and mutal effort come in, I suppose.

And then in the fall we get to start all over again.

On that note, enjoy your Monday, dear readers.

~Meaghan

May 1st

It's the first day of May.  I'm having trouble believing it.  The weather outside does not feel like May weather - it's overcast and cold, with the promise of not getting out of the 40's.  There was snow on the ground yesterday morning.

I don't know where my year went.  So much of it has passed in a blur.  This semester has flown.  It's had it's ups and downs, but I can assure you that it is finishing on an upswing.  I am so happy with where I am right now; it's a feeling I'm not used to, but one that I can definitely get used to.

It looks like I might even finish the semester with a 4.0 again.  I wasn't expecting that at all; in fact, I've been trying to not obsessively monitor my grades because it nearly drove me mad last semester.  It seems that relaxing has paid off. 

This month is going to hold so much.  My sister gets her blackbelt, turns 18, and graduates high school.  I am so happy for her!  My semester finishes up this week; then I either get a job (if anyone calls me for an interview) or try to figure out what I'm going to do with myself.  I'm going to see a movie, get burgers, see Rocky Horror again. 

And maybe the weather will warm up.  With warmer weather and plans with friends, I feel like this is going to be such a great break.

My face hurts from smiling.

I'm tired because I've been up later than normal texting.

I'm losing weight, I'm writing more, I'm focusing better.

Things are finally on track again.

Enjoy the rest of your weekend, my dear readers.  And happy May first. :)

~Meaghan

It's the Final Countdown!

Oh. My. Gosh.

I can not wait for summer.  At all.  I only have two days of class separating me from hanging out with my friends and doing nothing.  (And hopefully working, but let's not think about that.)

This is going to be such a great summer.  I can feel it.  For one, I'm already making plans with people.  I never make plans with people.  Ever.  I think this is going to one of the first summers in a long time where I'm actually going to relax and have some fun.

(I spent 90% of last summer working nearly 40 hours a week.  That is not happening this year.)

Harry Potter comes out on my birthday, I'm turning 21, I have friends who actually like me for who I am and aren't trying to change me, and it's Colorado so the weather is more than likely going to be beautiful.

I just have to make it through the next week. 

One more week, one more week, one more week...

~Meaghan

Happy Day!

It's official, my dear readers.  I am a published author now.  I have had one of my poems published in the school literary magazine. 

Now, whenever I feel discourages, I can look at that and at my rejection letter from earlier to remind myself that I am on the right path for my life.

It's encouraging.

Everything is going exceptionally well.  My grades are coming up in time for the semester to end, which is nice.  I don't think it's going to be a 4.0, but considering what's gone on this semester, I'm okay with that.  My health is back under control.  I'm losing weight, my moods are managable again, and I'm feeling better than I've felt in a very long time.

And summer is nearly here.  I still don't have a job lined up, but the store my dad works at is hiring so there's a chance I could get employed there.

Summer is going to be wonderful.  I'm going to spend time with my friends and family.  I'm going to get caught up on all my reading.  More toys will be made.  It's going to be great.

Oh, and something even more exciting may be coming about.  But I don't want to talk about it on here until I know for sure.  Don't worry, though.  I'll keep you guys posted.

And now, bed.

~Meaghan

Even More Job Applications.

I'm trying to broaden where I apply to.  This morning I applied to King Soopers, Old Navy, and Staples.  I have a list made up of where I've applied and where I want to send more applications to.  So far, I've applied to over seven different companies.  I have about nine more places that I'm planning on applying to.

Someone's bound to call me in the next few weeks.

It amuses me how similar all the applications are.  Gender - female.  Race - white.  Age - twenty.  Do you have a criminal history - no.  Have you ever been terminated - no.  Blah blah blah, fine print - I agree.  Will you consent to having a drug test done - yes.  Will you consent to a background check - yes.

On and on and on.

And then you have these questionaire survey things where they test your personality.  You like being in a large crowd - agree.  You like working with people - agree. 

Etc, etc, etc.

Fun times. 

It's making me think I should just suck it up and go to Metro after I graduate to get a teaching degree.  But then again, the teaching market is saturated as well.  I think the job market on a whole is saturated like a sponge with water is dripping out of it.

Mmkay, happy thought time cause this is stressing me out.

School is almost done.  I have mixed feelings about it.  On the one hand, I'm thrilled that classes are going to be out for the summer.  But on the other, I'm at that point where I have great friends again and I'm going to miss seeing them on a regular basis.

Provided I get a job, I'll be working this summer, so that'll be good.  And even with working, I'll still be able to see my friends.  And I'll be able to catch up on all my knitting and reading and writing that I've had to put off because of school...

I'm really looking forward to warm weather.  I think this is the first time I'm truly happy about summer.  So many good things are coming about.  I turn 21.  Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows pt. 2 comes out on my b-day, which is cool; one of my friends has invited me to go to the midnight showing with him, which I'm really looking forward to.  I'm actually losing weight so that I can feel less self-concious in a swimsuit, so swimming will be fun.  Dog sitting, riding my bike, learning to roller skate better, and hanging out with friends and family is how I'm planning on spending my days.

It is going to be awesome.

And I'm actually healthy for once, too.  I feel balanced both mentally and emotionally.  That has never really happened before.  I feel like I can take on the world again.  I have a really good support system, I'm surrounded by people who actually like me for ME and who I can be myself around, and I'm feeling like things can't really get any better.

 Plus, my views on dating are starting to change, which is strange.  For the longest time, I was completely turned off of it.  You know how it is - one too many guys who are shallow and insensitive jerks.  But now I think I'm starting to consider the idea as something that's not bad but rather good.  Maybe.  I kind of wonder if that means I'm growing up some.

And tomorrow my poem is released to the general public.  I'm rather proud of myself here.  Now, whenever I feel like my writing is complete crap (which happens to all writers), I can look at the school magazine and remember that I wrote something worth publishing. =)

Now, off to finish the chapter for tomorrow and to fill out more applications.

~Meaghan

It's the End of the World as We Know It

Actually, more like, the end of semester as we know it.

That's right, I am done for summer! I have survived a year at college. It is a good feeling, being done. Knowing I did my best. Not giving up when I wanted to because I felt in a hole.

Yes, I did do a victory dance already. And it was sweet.

Now, I'm going to bed. I start my new job next week, things are slowing down, and I feel like I can breathe again.

Sleep well, Cyberland.

~Meaghan