Update on a Weekend Night.

Well, the cavity filling wasn't as terrible as I thought it might be.  I didn't even feel the needle until she (my dentist) started pumping in the novacaine.  That kind of burned.

The rest of the visit passed in a blur.  I remember listening to Coldplay over and over.  I remember holding the armrest like I was going to parish if I let go and grinding against the mouth grip they let me have.  And I was shaking from relief when I left.  That was pretty awesome.

But now that I know what to expect for the next round.  (And there are at least three more rounds to come; this is why you take care of your mouth, kids...)  And that makes it better.

I've been working this weekend, which is good.  I'm ready for vacation though.  The family trip is in less than two weeks.  I have a presentation, two tests, and at least two more writing assignments to turn in before then.  Work before pleasure...

I'm reading a book called "The Help" right now.  It's a great book.  The authoress does a great job of making each character have a unique voice.  That's one of the things I sometimes struggle with, so I greatly admire that.  If you get a chance to read it, you should.  It's a great book.

School's going alright.  A lot of pressure just to keep my GPA high so I can get into the honor group on campus.  I'm a capable young woman, so I feel like I can stay ahead, but it's also going to take a lot of work.  I'm a little nervous about letting it slip.

I was also kind of wondering if I maybe chose the wrong major.  I love writing and I don't regret doing the writing degree, but I also miss the wildlife biology end of it.  Granted, the basic bio classes bored me to death.  And I have a love-hate relationship with math.  But I miss working with owls, hawks, eagles, and falcons.  I miss the birds.

Maybe I'll go back to school down the road and get a biology degree.  Right now, though, I'm really ready to graduate and get into the real world.  I feel like it's something I want to try.  School will always be there, so I'll always have that opportunity.  I just don't feel motivated at the moment to go beyond the associates.

Textile design is the other thing I would consider.  I've been doing a lot of knitting lately, and I've started designing my own patterns.  It's kind of neat, seeing what works and what doesn't.  I've always had a love of yarn: the colors, the textures, the brands.  I still want to own my own yarnshop, too.

So many things I want, lol.  Let's take it at baby steps.  I want to get all my homework done so I can go out of town without fear of falling behind, spend time with my friends, and spend time with my boyfriend. 

That's easy enough to achieve this week.

And on that note, I'm going to go attempt some sleep.

~Meaghan

Why Can't I Sleep In??

I went to bed at 11:00 pm last night.  That's late for me, dear readers.  Yes, I understand that I'm young and whatnot; honestly, though, I need a lot of sleep to function.

So naturally my body decided that today was probably a school day and woke me up at 6:15.

It's another one of my weird quirks.  No matter how late I go to bed, I always get up consistently between 6 and 8 in the morning.  Last spring I went to a cowboy bar with a few friends (dancing and singing sober karaoke was awesome, so I recommend it) and we didn't get back until 3:30 in the morning.  I still woke up at 7:15.

Oh well.  Gives me more time to start my day I suppose.

I'm still on the job hunt.  Yesterday I filled out an application at Best Buy.  Today I'm going to try to get one filled out for Old Navy.  I've still got Target that I need to fill out as well.  Push comes to shove, I'll do one for Wal-Mart too.

I have to go get more blood work done this week.  The doctor wants to make sure that my liver is back where it should be.  I'm supposed to ask her about cutting back my medication when I go pick up the form as well - I'm having trouble sitting still and I'm kind of shaky all the time now.  It's all good.  I'm still in a better place than I was a month and a half ago.

Other than that, things are nice and routine.  Homework, school, family, friends, laundry, dog sitting.  Rinse and repeat as necessary.

It rained last night.  Part way through it kind of got mixed with snow; luckily the snow passed and there is none on the ground.  I'm still holding out for a thunderstorm.

And now it's time to get my day started, I suppose.

~Meaghan

Random Blog is Random.

But hey, at least I'm keeping with the "Let's blog every day for a whole year" resolution.  Even if it is a random blog between classes. 

I had the weirdest nightmare last night.  What happened was I woke up at three this morning with the worst stomach ache.  (I know better than to eat Quedoba because it always makes me sick, but I caved yesterday.  Note to self: fight the temptation of soft tacos.  It's not worth it.)  I stayed awake until after four. 

So when I fell back asleep, I had this crazy dream.  I was at school with one of my friends.  We were reading Orwell's "1984" for some reason.  (It's a good book, but not one I particularly feel the need to re-read.)  I said something, and suddenly he got really mad and told me to get the fuck out.  (I'm 99.99% sure this would never happen in real life...)

Then it was like a scene change.  Said friend, myself, and our third speech member were in the speech lab.  I was standing at the podium about to give my portion of the speech; I started and then realized I had no idea what I was saying.  I got embarrassed and fled from the room.

And then I woke up to my alarm.  It was the first time I remembered a dream since I started taking this anti-depressant.  So even while it was a complete and total stress dream, I'll take it.  It's a sign that things are going back to normal.

I could barely stand in the shower this morning.  I was so dizzy it wasn't even funny.  It was so tempting to just curl up into the fetal position and lay in the bathtub.  But I didn't.  I made it to school.  I'm having a decent morning. 

I still feel kind of funky though.  I really hope it is just Quedoba or my meds; I really don't want to get sick.

On a completely unrelated note, I had a really good talk this morning with my English Comp professor.  I think I may have to apply to a four year school to go ahead and get my teaching degree.  I feel like I'm kind of leaning that way.  I want to teach high school literature.  I think there are enough crappy lit teachers that it turns a lot of students off of reading and writing.  I want to break that mold.

More importantly, though, is the fact that I really need to find a summer job.  I only have two weeks of school left.  And while I would love to spend this whole summer goofing off, I think it's probably a good idea for me to work so I can pay for books and tuition in the fall.  So far I've applied at Borders and Home Depot.  I'm in the middle of filling out an app for Michaels as well.  Then I'll apply at Hobby Lobby, Target, and as a last resort, King Soopers.

I refuse to do food service again.  I don't think you could pay me enough.

And now I have to go to psychology to watch others give their presentations.  Apparently we're going to have a test over each disorder presented; I can honestly say that I haven't paid enough attention to even really remember what disorders we've seen.  But I learn by listening and doodling in my margines, so maybe I'll remember more than I think I do.  At this point, I'm not entirely convinced I care.

Oh! And the new issue of the school magazine (the one with my poem in it) is coming out soon.  That's exciting.

Alright, class.  I got this.

~Meaghan

Middle of the Week.

I slept for a full night last night.  No random waking up.  No random nightmares.  No random stresses.  I woke up on my own a full 45 minutes before my alarm went off.  So naturally, I allowed myself to stay in bed for as long as possible.

If this could happen every night, I would be incredibly happy. :)

So today is Wednesday.  It's overcast outside, leaving me hopeful that we might get a nice spring storm.  I have a full day ahead of me: homework, out with a friend I haven't seen pretty much since the semester started, and then more homework.  But it's going to be a good day.

I just know it.

My neighbor's dog didn't die on me this weekend.  In fact, we had no problems whatsoever.  I was very happy about that.  She's a crazy dog, but I love her to pieces and it would have killed me if something had happened.  Proof that God was looking out for me.

I made it through my psychology presentation yesterday with minimal mess ups.  I did trip and stumble part way through and had to take a moment to recoup.  But I'm pretty sure I was the only one who noticed.  I got a really good grade on it, too.

Now I just need to actually learn my part for my group speech.  I tripped over it yesterday as we rehearsed it; while my group members told me I did fine, I know I can do better.  So practice is in order. 

I need to finish revising my novel chapter for next week.  I'm not entirely sure of all the changes I'm going to make, but I feel like the revision is off to a good start.  Hopefully I can get some helpful feedback next week before I have to turn in the final project.  I also need to get my peer reviews done for tomorrow.  I'm thinking that those should probably be priority for the time being...

My project for English needs to get done too.  I have rough drafts due next week that I have no idea what I'm doing on.  I think I'm just going to wing them and see what happens.  (And by wing them, I mean work on them this weekend amidst everything else.)

I can't believe Easter is Sunday!  Where has this year gone?  It's crazy how time flies.  This weekend is going to be extremely busy.  We're ringing handbells for Easter, which means practice on Saturday and then an early call time on Sunday.  But it's totally going to be worth it.  I love ringing for Easter.

I love Easter in general, actually.  As a Christian, it's the most important holiday on the calendar.  If Judas hadn't betrayed Jesus, and if Jesus hadn't died, and then if He hadn't risen on the third day, there would be no Christian faith.  I think it's a beautiful thing, having a God who loves us so much that He sends His Son to die for us. 

It's the concept of grace.  I think I finally figured it out, too.  At least in my own head.  I believe that grace is God looking at us, seeing what we've had to do in dire times, and loving us the same.

I'll write more later; breakfast now. :D

~Meaghan

Guess What?

I slept the whole night last night.  No waking up at two and three in the morning, no feelings of anxiety or panic, no horrible nightmares.  I slept the whole night and woke up on my own about twenty minutes before my alarm went off.

I feel great.

This is it.  I am finally getting my life under control again.  I feel like I can take on the world.  It's a very satisfying feeling.
Dog sitting this weekend is exciting.  I swear, that dog is crazy.  This morning she kept wanting to go outside.  So we'd go outside and all she would do was eat the rabbit crap.  So then we'd go back inside.  Repeat the cycle not five minutes later.  Crazy dog.

I've been watching "Say Yes to the Dress" while I'm over there.  I think I am addicted to the show.  I love it.  Now, I'm not a wedding crazy person or anything, but I love the dresses.  (I have an idea of what I want when the time comes for me to get married.  Crazy, yes, but fun anyway.)  And watching the brides - wow.  So many of them break down into tears when they're trying on the dresses. 

When the time comes for me to get married, I want to be a beautiful bride. 

Ok, enough of that.  Moving on.

Today is a loaded day filled with homework, cleaning, writing, and knitting.  Oh, and dog sitting. 

Bring it on world.  I'm ready.

~Meaghan

It's Spring, Which Means Snow.

Go ahead.  Ask me how  I feel about it.

It was nice last night and into the morning - there was a good, gentle rain that made everything smell good.  Then it turned on us.  Now it's snow and fog.  This is the kind of weather I expect to get in the fall. 

The funny part is that the blades of grass are still sticking up through the white gunk, as if to remind us that it is spring.

So what am I doing today?

I'm hanging out at school, going to my various classes.  I'm about to actually go grab some lunch, too.  I'm not sitting where I normally sit; I need to shake up my routine a bit.  It's promising to be another good day.

I'm exhausted, though.  I got up at 3 in the morning and had so much trouble falling back asleep.  Coupled with the weather, it makes for a long day.  Oh well.  I have no room to complain.  I found out one of my friends has been up for over 24 hours studying. 

Life of college students I guess.

Now, to go get some pizza.

~Meaghan

I'm Exhauted, but It's Okay.

Know why it's okay, dear readers???

Because I got a new story idea!! I was doing the dishes last night, and it hit me.  I ran out of the room and wrote it down in one of my notebooks.  (All good ideas go in a notebook with a date placed on top for future reference.  It's a good habit to be in.)  I then ended up staying awake until after midnight typing out a brief over view of how the whole story is going to go.

Believe me, it's going to be good.  I feel it.

Sadly, I can't tell you anything about it.  Most works need to be kept very quiet.  The reasons for this are a.) so no one steals your ideas (it happens, unfortunately, and I have no desire to be a victim), b.) so that the idea has time to mature and grow, c.) so that the characters have time to mature and grow, and (in my case) d.) so that the whole story will actually get written.

As I said before,  I think it's going to be great.  I'm very excited and hopeful.

In other news...

Being tired makes me act weird.  I spent the first part of the day being over-the-top hyper, and the second half of the day (now) being exhausted and apathetic.  There is no middle ground, I swear.  It was totally worth it though.

I think I'm going to go watch some movies now.  It's my last free weekend before school starts, bringing with it mountains of homework that I'm going to have to battle.  Might as well enjoy it while I can.

~Meaghan

When You're Awake...

...and you realize you should be in bed even though you aren't completely sure you're ready to bed, there's a problem.

What's even more of a problem is when you realize you're still up because your body is running of two different time zones. I mean, who's brilliant idea was that, to cut up the country into different time zones? I'm an hour ahead on Denver time, and an hour behind on St. Louis time. Blaaah.

Yes, I did just stick my tongue out at the computer screen as I typed that. Thanks for asking.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm developing some sort of mental thing as I write cause I feel like I talk to myself all the freaking time. Maybe that's normal, actually. Did anyone define normal yet? I highly doubt that. Oh look, I got off topic again...

So here I am in St. Louis, staying with a friend. I decided tonight that I would try to get her hooked on MST3K. Granted, I didn't expect her to become obsessed with it like I am, but I thought she would enjoy it.

I didn't realize she was going to fall asleep through it.

I don't know if it was because of the episode I showed her (it was Rocketship X-M because I felt like it explained the show fairly well - I mean, it is the first episode with TV's Frank...) or if it was because we had a packed day (we went to Fitz's for lunch, went to the zoo, and drove around the Arch - we would've walked, but the roads were closed due to flooding...). All I know is, she laughed some and then passed out.

So while she's sleeping, and I'm trying to decide if I want to sleep, I'm blogging and keeping tabs on my perfered forum.

I'm really a nerd, aren't I. And please don't answer that.

I guess I'm going to try to sleep now. Oh wait, my iPod is still charging - I wore the battery down a ton the past few days. That's one thing I'm really good at: forgetting to charge my electronics until the last minute. Phone and iPod alike get neglected until the battery is nearly dead. I think the only thing I do charge regularly is my computer, and that's just cause I'm on it so much.

Alright, I've rambled enough for the evening. I really do go off topic easily, don't I? I think it must just be my nature. What are you going to do, right?

Have a great night, Cyberland Readers, and I will write again soon.

~Meaghan

(Anyone else notice how I change my signature between my username and my real name? I gotta find some consistancy, lol.)

A few things I've been thinking about

So I'm trying to decide if I want to start another blog, one that is set aside just for music and book reviews. At this point in time, I think I am going to pass on it, as I have enough trouble maintaining this blog and updating regularly.

Another thing I've been thinking about is whether or not I'm going to take on another job. Currently I work part time at a Sylvan learning center (my other job finished up). If I were to take on a second job again, it would probably be at someplace like King Soopers (where I worked for a few months in 2007) or Chick-Fil-A. Chick-Fil-A has the benefits of being closed on Sundays and if I could get a schedule worked out where I was working mornings, then it would be ideal. Still, I'm hesitant to take on more than I can chew...

And finally, I'm trying to get a good night's sleep. I can not remember for the life of me the last time I slept a whole night without a nightmare or waking up at least once at some point. Sleep depravation is not good - I am one of those people who need a ton of sleep to make it through. So we will see how the next few weeks pan out.

I have to say, 2009 seems to be going fairly slowly and blurry thus far. I'll keep you posted.