Saturday Blog

So, my dear readers (whoever you may be), I am attempting to keep good to my word about blog updates. Although, I do have to say that is very quiet right now and there is pretty much nothing of interest to blog about.

Today, I am going to a graduation party. It is the graduation party of a friend of mine who kind of drives me nuts and is responsible for my attitude of never getting involved with a guy, at least not for now. I am terrified that the party is going to be awkward and that I will not feel comfortable there, as I am having trouble feeling comfortable around this person like I once had been. I know that sounds dumb, but it's very true.

So deep breaths and try to act like myself again.

Tomorrow I go to see Star Trek. I cannot tell you how excited I am by the concept. I have become a huge Star Trek fan just within the past week, and I can't get enough of it. I think that, considering the various other phases I have gone through (Yu-Gi-Oh! and Fruits Basket being the biggest, followed closely by Twilight), this phase will eventually pass. Everything else seems too.

Today, I feel like I am on the edge of forever. I can't explain it, but that's what it is. It's almost like feeling isolated in my own little world, away from the rest of humanity and self contained inside my bubble. It's quiet, tiring, and a bit lonesome sometimes, but it ultimately works.

I feel like that's how I've spent my month of May. I just need things to not affect me as much. Once I can master that, my moods will be better.

Anyway. That's the morning blog. Later, gater.

I swear I haven't died, Cyberland

I just have had a lot on my plate. I swear. I'm going to once again try to update once a week, cause it's been waaaay too long since I've been here. So, Cyberland readers, you are probably wondering what I've been up to that I haven't had time to blog to you. Here we go:

First and formost, there has been work. Which has slowed down considerably, but nonetheless drains me of energy. Especially lately. I'm not sure what the deal is, but work has really been exhausting me.

Then there is the fact that I've been a bit out of it. I've been having soo much trouble sleeping that it's any wonder that I am able to function at all. A lot of people think that it's because college classes start on Tuesday and I'm nervous. In all honesty, I'm not sure. I just haven't been feeling quite right. I don't know if it's depression or anxiety or what, but it's like a very nasty combination of things that leave me feeling hollow. Or maybe lonely. Plus tired. So I haven't wanted to do anything for a while.

And finally - Star Trek. I know, I know - I am a complete nerd. But since the new movie came out (which I am going to see on Sunday, I'll be sure to let you know how it is), I have been obsessing over it. I've seen a ton of the old series episodes (thank you, youtube) and have been going out of my mind with fanfiction. Which I plan on writing some when I am done here. I just love the paring of Spock and Nyota Uhura. I mean, come on - she is soo smart and awesome, and he is...Spock. Which says everything you need to know.

God I love Spock.

Maybe my problem is that romance has been so non-existant in my life. I mean, it's like I'm over here *points to far left* and it's waaay over there *points to far far right*. Maybe that's why I'm so infatuated with the odd pairing. But I just can't help it. I am so turned off by human guys that it's not even funny. All the ones I've met thus far are concerned about being crazy and the way a girl looks. What does it take to find a guy like Spock who actually likes you for your intelligence and personality first and then the way you look?!?!

That is, of course, why his and Uhura's relationship works. She is the emotion to his cold logic, but at the same time is brilliantly bright; both of those are characteristics that Spock respects very much. Likewise, Uhura respects Spock's logic and the way he functions as a human/Vulcan hybrid.

I may be judging human males too harshly, but so far, I am not impressed. It sounds horrible, but it's very true. But, there is time for them to redeem themselves, I suppose.

Until then, it's fanfiction, work, and school for me. I really am sorry Cyberland, I really did have full intention of regularly updating. I'll try to not let things catch me up again.

I have to tell the truth, which is that right now, I'm in the bedroom alone while my sister has two of her friends over to spend the night in the living room. I wouldn't say I'm hiding, but it is fairly nice to have a moment in the quiet by myself.

But I'm not going to let noise stop me from updating again.

Until the next meeting,

Meaghan, aka Birdgirl90