Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Practice Time!

I just contacted the local orchestra to see if they could use any more violinists. As it turns out, they most definitely do need more violinists, and it doesn't matter that I'm out of practice. I am thrilled!

So now I have to wait to set up an audition. Which is fine, cause it gives me some time to pull one of my favorite classical pieces out of the woodwork and start polishing the hell out of it. It's been so long since I last played, but I am ready to do this. Orchestra playing (or any sort of playing in a group) has always been one of my favorite aspects of being a classically trained violinist. Now, I am going to get to do that again.

Provided I get an audition booked and I make it through the audition process.

Auditioning is one of those necessary evils in life. If it were a paid position in a professional orchestra (like the Boston Pops), the audition process would be a lot more intense, with scales and memorized pieces being involved, not to mention having to know things like the Bach conceretos in full. To top it off, there's like intense sight reading involved.

For my purposes, it's a lot more simple; have a piece ready (I don't know if it has to be memorized or not, so I'm going to go ahead and make sure it is to play it safe), be able to sight read some simple pieces, and go from there. I'm going to go ahead and work on a piece that I had memorized before I stopped playing the violin, which should make it easier to memorize again.

I think I'm either going to do a Vivaldi piece or a Mozart piece. I am leaning towards the Mozart one, because I like that one better. Vivaldi is great, I've just played him too much in too short a time span.

That is, provided I get an audition.

But hey, it sounds like they need players and I'm not opposed to doing second violin. So the odds are good.

Until the next time, Cyberland readers.


Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Why Improv Rocks

Also known as "Why I'm no longer the shy and quiet girl I once was". Or "Why I can't shut up now."

I just got back from improv rehersal and decided that I needed to update this blog. So I'm going to kill two birds with one stone so to speak and update this blog by talking about improv.

My improv group is fantastic. I may have said this before, but I am going to say it again. They rock. It's like having a family of people who are only related to you by the fact that they love to laugh.

Because that's why we do improv. Forget the audience; whether it's show time or just rehersal, we only strive to make ourselves laugh. That makes it fun for the audience, because they get to share the jokes and whatever, but ultimately, we strive to make each other laugh. It's very rare that I don't bust a gut at rehersal and end up in tears. Very rare.

Everyone I play with has a wicked sense of humor, and I feel like that I have grown through them, so that I can now hold my own and crack jokes. I mean, I am now at a point where I open my mouth and say something, and someone laughs. I don't always know what's funny, but laughter is better than tears, and I love that. I love making people laugh.

The trick with improv is to not kill the scene. I am fantastic at doing just that, killing the scene without even realizing it; I forget the "yes, and..." rule that we are supposed to use. But I'm getting there, and it's something that I enjoy getting to improv upon.

I just feel better when I do improv. If you had told me a few years ago that I would be doing comedy, I probably would've laughed at you and gone back to whatever book I was reading. Now, I can't imagine a life without this part of me, without this group of people around me, without this outlet.

I think that goes to show that it's sometimes a good thing to get outside your comfort zone.

Have a great night, Cyberland.


Sunday, June 27, 2010

Here We Are.


The name speaks for itself.

Here's my take on it, with apologies to the folks who live out here, cause the Kansas folks really are nice people. I mean, I've had more people talk to me, be friendly, and just generally seem like decent people out here.

Which I suppose makes up for the state itself.

It starts off beautiful, with fields and trees and the sky that washed out blue that humidity can bring to the midwest. And then, after about two hours of driving, it turns.

It becomes one of those things where you realize that if you see another field again, you are going to scream. Where, if you think too hard about the miles across the state that you have gone compared to the miles you have yet to go, you will feel a pain radiate across your forehead as your brain threatens to blow. Where anything could happen, and no one would care, because it's freaking Kansas.


So now we are camped in a hotel in Topeka, which isn't terrible, except the guy downstairs has already given our room to another person (that was fun), and that we still have over 300 miles of Kansas to drive through as well as the eastern plains of Colorado.

Which looks an awful lot like Kansas for the first two and a half hours or so.

It was totally worth it, though. This trip has been fun, I've gotten to see a lot of people I hadn't seen in a while, and being in a car with my family doesn't totally suck.

I guess I can tolerate Kansas.


Saturday, June 26, 2010

I Really am an Idiot

I am so awesome at commiting social faux pas online, it's not even funny. I think I'm going to stop posting and start hiding under a rock again. Gah.

The short of it: I'm hosting a contest online and forgot to mention who was providing the prize. Which is a big social no-no. Especially since the guy providing the prize is one of the more decent guys I've had the pleasure of meeting, and is very generous and nice about everything.

I feel like an idiot.

Oh well. I think I rectified the situation, but we shall see how it plays out. I'm still embarrassed about it. Geez.

One day I will have my head firmly secured to my head; then I can die happy.

I'm going back to bed now.


Time to Clean Out the Mailbox

You know how some people go on vacation and all their mail kind of piles up inside their mailbox until it's this overwhelming mass of paper cuts waiting to happen? Yeah. So apparently, that's what I do with emails while I'm on vacation.

I have about 60 or so messages in my yahoo account, and I don't even want to think about how many in my gmail account. I think I should probably clean them out - most are spam or trash anyway - but I don't really feel like it. Anyone else have this particular problem?

I know I say I procrastinate a lot, but the truth is that when things don't get done, it's a direct response to my mood. I can always tell when I'm tired or feeling out of it, cause things always build up and I never have the energy or motivation to deal with them. I think right now I'm just tired and ready to be home, so that's why my emails are building up.

Although, I did start letting them build up right before we left.

Anyway, I should probably clean them out. The question is, should I do a mass dump and not even read them, or should I go through each one individually until all 60-odd emails are gone? I'm starting to think the former, actually...

Or maybe I'll just wait until I'm done with my trip. Yeah, that sounds like a plan.

Until next time, Cyberland Readers.


Friday, June 25, 2010

Officially Summer!

I can say that because I have my first sunburn of the season. Note to self: when out in the sun for prolonged periods of time and you know you have pale skin that didn't get the ability to tan from the Italian side of the family, bring a hat and loads of sunscreen.

It's after midnight, and I can feel my neck getting that stiff, sunburned feeling. Not to mention the fact that my lips are cracked and sore. It may not be the worst burn I've ever had, but it is a burn. Gah.

I know that I don't tan. I know that the sun hates me. I mean, I'm almost as pale as Brain Guy from MST3K - not Albino white, but pale enough that even a pink flush is noticable.

I'm almost afraid to look in the mirror tomorrow. We shall see what happens.

Yay for summer and vacations.


Thursday, June 24, 2010

When You're Awake...

...and you realize you should be in bed even though you aren't completely sure you're ready to bed, there's a problem.

What's even more of a problem is when you realize you're still up because your body is running of two different time zones. I mean, who's brilliant idea was that, to cut up the country into different time zones? I'm an hour ahead on Denver time, and an hour behind on St. Louis time. Blaaah.

Yes, I did just stick my tongue out at the computer screen as I typed that. Thanks for asking.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm developing some sort of mental thing as I write cause I feel like I talk to myself all the freaking time. Maybe that's normal, actually. Did anyone define normal yet? I highly doubt that. Oh look, I got off topic again...

So here I am in St. Louis, staying with a friend. I decided tonight that I would try to get her hooked on MST3K. Granted, I didn't expect her to become obsessed with it like I am, but I thought she would enjoy it.

I didn't realize she was going to fall asleep through it.

I don't know if it was because of the episode I showed her (it was Rocketship X-M because I felt like it explained the show fairly well - I mean, it is the first episode with TV's Frank...) or if it was because we had a packed day (we went to Fitz's for lunch, went to the zoo, and drove around the Arch - we would've walked, but the roads were closed due to flooding...). All I know is, she laughed some and then passed out.

So while she's sleeping, and I'm trying to decide if I want to sleep, I'm blogging and keeping tabs on my perfered forum.

I'm really a nerd, aren't I. And please don't answer that.

I guess I'm going to try to sleep now. Oh wait, my iPod is still charging - I wore the battery down a ton the past few days. That's one thing I'm really good at: forgetting to charge my electronics until the last minute. Phone and iPod alike get neglected until the battery is nearly dead. I think the only thing I do charge regularly is my computer, and that's just cause I'm on it so much.

Alright, I've rambled enough for the evening. I really do go off topic easily, don't I? I think it must just be my nature. What are you going to do, right?

Have a great night, Cyberland Readers, and I will write again soon.


(Anyone else notice how I change my signature between my username and my real name? I gotta find some consistancy, lol.)

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

I'm Alive!

I am mastering the art of procrastination. Hence, why I have not updated here is what feels like an eternity. Ok, that's overstating, but you get the idea. Plus, I'm on the road and not blogging from the safety of my room, instead relying on internet connections from hotel rooms across the Midwest.

Right now, though, I'm staying with a friend of mine in St. Louis. Her internet is decent, I must say, but I can't stay long because I only get these few days with her before I'm gone for a few more years.

Basically, traveling in a car across Kansas and Missouri sucks, seeing family is awesome, staying with friends is a blast, and I will never take White Castles for granted again.

I got to meet my cousin's girlfriend (who is totally and completely awesome, I might add), and so I guess that officially means I'm next in line, which is odd. Considering my dating record, though, and how much I clam up around the male population, I think singality is probably still going to be with me for a while. It was also really nice to catch up with everyone.

We went for BBQ at Gates BBQ in Kansas City today, which was great. The BBQ is terrible for some reason, but the trade off is that the Mexican food is probably some of the best I have ever had. We drove around my mom's old neighborhoods, and then headed to St. Louis, which is where we are now. I'm staying with my friend, and the rest are staying in a hotel.

And now I'm going to bed, as I am exhausted. I realize this is not the best blog update I've done, but I promise you, Cyberland Readers, that I will write a better, in detail blog post once things settle down.

Until the next go,


Sunday, June 13, 2010


I just realized that it's been almost six whole months since I last cut. I don't know why I'm blogging about this, as many people are unaware that I slipped up last year, but I need to get it out.

I am so done with cutting, so I'm ready to talk about it now. Posting this is hard for me, though, just because I still get nervous about it, but I am so ready to move on with my life.

I was stressing out in Novemember and December and ended up cutting in both months. It wasn't as bad as people I know have done, nor was it as bad as what I've done in the past, and as far as I know, no one knows about it except me. I am not proud of it, and I can honestly say I don't know what compelled me to do it.

Cutting is something I've struggled with off and on for almost five years now. Telling people about it is hard - you get a range of reactions from some giving you weird looks to others telling you to just stop. They don't understand that you can't just stop. It doesn't work like that. Cutting or scratching or any other form of self-injurious behaviors are like narcotics; the more you do them, the more you're body craves the endorphine rush.

I was always more of the occasional one, going three to six months between cuts or scratches, and never doing it terribly bad, just enough to get the rush. As stated before, I am not proud of it.

My new year's resolution was to go the entire 2010 year without cutting once. I've never been able to make it a whole year without cutting or scratching at least once, but this is my year. Even when I was really stressed out earlier this year, I did not feel the urge to cut, so I think I'm going to make it.

I think part of what may be helping me out right now is that I accepted Christ back in February. I know a lot of people will tell me I'm crazy, and that's totally fine, but I feel like having His presence in my life is really helping me out, especially here. Even on my worst days I don't feel like going back to where I once was, and things are really looking up.

It's times like these that I am extremely happy that I did not follow through with the suicidal thoughts I once had. Life is too short, and I can now see that it's a wonderful thing, even the rough parts.

Ok, that's my blog for today. Sorry we got a little serious there - next one will be more fun, I swear. I just really needed this to be out so I can move on.

Have a great night, Cyberland, and enjoy your week. :D


Friday, June 11, 2010

Well, June's Half Done...

...and this is the first time I've updated this blog since June started. Go me, procrastinator to the end.

I'm going to start this by saying that I should have probably waited to update until tomorrow, because I am wiped right now. So why am I doing it now? Well, I'm up charging my iPod (I told you I was a procrastinator), and thought I would go ahead and update while I was thinking about it.

I'm trying to think if there was anything exciting that happened between the last update and tonight. It rained today, which is a good thing cause we really needed it, and I saw a double rainbow. That's the second double rainbow I've seen in two days, cause it briefly stormed yesterday, leaving one behind. This may sound superstitious or whatever, but I'm going to take it as a sign that things are going to be ok. I worry fairly easily, so I like to take my signs when I can get them.

I also saw a funnel cloud yesterday, which was pretty neat. Normally I freak out about tornadoes and really bad storms, but I feel like this year is different. I am ready for some weather, and I'm sick of it missing us. So seeing the funnel cloud was pretty sweet, even if the storm itself didn't last.

We are getting ready to go out of town next week, which I am super excited about. It's a week long trip basically going to Missouri and back. Since my family is from there, we're going to spend time with family and friends and revisit the old stomping grounds. (Am I too young to word that like I did?)

I have been looking forward to this vacation for a long time, and when I was getting burned out last semester, it was part of what gave me motivation. Now, I just have to survive a week more of work and then I'm free for a week. :D

Work is getting better. It looks as though I am possibly going to be a shift supervisor by the end of the summer, which I am thrilled about. I work with some really great people, and I have finally gained enough seniority that I did not work any 5am shifts this week. There's just something about getting up before the sun does...

I also realized in the past month that as much as I like my new job, I'm really ready to be in my chosen field. I don't know if I've talked about this (I probably have, but am exhausted right now and don't remember - humor me), but I found out that for an education degree, I have to have a main major. I've decided that I want to become an English major, so that I can teach English to middle and high schoolers. I feel like I am being called to teach and help the ones who are slipping through the cracks, and as idealistic as that sounds, I want to make a difference somewhere. I feel like this is where I need to be to do it.

It's going to take for flippin ever to get there, though. Because I work part time to pay for tuition and because I want to do well and pass with as close to a 4.0 as I can, I'm only taking the bare minimum credits to be on my parents insurance. So, I figured it out, and I have about two and a half more years at the community level, then another two to three at the university level. I may pick up summer classes again, so that could be shortened, but for now, that's the pace that works for me.

I have no doubt that it is going to be worth it when I get there. No doubt at all. Teaching is going to be one of those things that will satisfy me and get me motivated to get up in the mornings, and I need that. Einstein's is fine for now, but I don't want to be there for the rest of my life.

I think that's about all that's going on. I feel like I'm ready to be back in school, but I also know I need this summer off to recoup. My bowling average has improved and it looks like I'll be able to be on the college league when I get to my university, which is good. I'm pretty excited about it, to be honest.

Ok, that's all. My brain just literally shut down.

Good night, Cyberland,