Wednesday, July 27, 2011

New Haircut

I got a new haircut today.

I like it.  It kind of reminds me of a modern '50's bob cut.  It's cute, it's light, and it's awesome.

I think of haircuts as kind of like rediscovering who you are as a person.  A new do makes you feel fresh and ready to take on the world again.  It's nice.

And that is today's slow post.  Have a wonderful Wed, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Saturday, July 23, 2011

It's Saturday...

...and it is amazingly hot here in Colorado.

I feel like I should like July.  I mean, my birthday is in it and all.  But no.  The heat kills me.  I have this sock project that I've been working on and it's been so hot today that I haven't had the energy to work on it.  That's how hot it is.

School starts soon.  I'm excited to an extent.  It's my last year before I graduate.  I'm a little sad to be leaving, a little nervous about finding a job, and exteremely excited to continue on with my life.  (The next few years are going to be awesome.  I know it.)

So many great things have happened at school.  I've made friends, made good grades, and meet my amazing boyfriend.  I also discovered my passion for writing. 

Good things.

And one can only hope that good things will continue to happen.

I would write more, and maybe make this entry better, but I'm exhausted.  Stupid head. =P

~Meaghan

Saturday, July 16, 2011

Things I Learned Upon Being 21

~ I really am happy I stayed around to see birthday 21 appear.

~ I'm looking forward to seeing many, many more birthdays appear.

~ I have the greatest family in the world, and God has truly blessed them with me.

~ My little sister is amazing.

~ I am blessed to have been able to share this birthday not only with my wonderful family, but also with the boy I plan on sharing the rest of my life with.

~ Said boy is absolutely amazing.

~ Margaritas are both delicious and dangerous.

~ I have a low tolerance for tequila in said margarita.

~ My family is even more amazing for not laughing at me for low tolerance of the margarita.

~ My boyfriend is even more amazing for not laughing or giving me a hard time as he helped me up the stairs.

~ Getting carded for buying a six pack at Wal-Mart is fun.

~ But buying crayons and yarn is still more fun.

~ Cupcakes are still tasty.

And

~ I love life, and am enjoying each milestone to the fullest with the ones I love.

Life is amazing.  Full of changes and challenges.  But amazing.  And I am humbled and awed by it.

~Meaghan

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Flash

My neighbor put her dog, Flash, down this morning.

I knew it was coming.   I knew it was for the best.  And really, I am glad that she didn't die while I was watching her.

But I'm still sad.

Flash was king of like my surrogate dog.  I never had a dog of my own, so once or twice a month, she was mine.  Sometimes I hated getting up early to take care of her.  Sometimes I didn't like standing in the rain or snow, waiting on her to go to do her business.

But she was partially mine.

Flash needed me when Sharon wasn't home.  She always greeted me with tail wagging and the occasional lick.  She loved her treats, and loved being petted.  And when I called her a crazy dog, she would just wag her tail as if she knew. 

She was a good dog.

And now she's gone.  Gone in body, but in a better place.  And never forgotten.

Never.

~Meaghan

Saturday, July 9, 2011

The Meaning of Love.

What is love?

It's a question that human kind has asked since the beginning of time.  What is it?  What does it mean to love someone?  To be loved in return? 

What is the essence of romantic love?

It's something I've been thinking a lot about lately.  And I do mean a lot.  I had always thought I had known what love was.  It wasn't until I met my boyfriend - and fell heart first into it myself- that I realized I did, but what I knew didn't even begin to scratch the surface of what it means to love and be loved.  Allow me to share.

We live in a society that is incredibly self centered and focused on material things.  Everything has a stipulation on it: if you love someone, you'll spend enormous amounts of money on them or do certain physical acts with them to show it.  If you want love, you have to be willing to sacrifice something for it.

And while some of that might be true (love takes work of some sort, which is not always easy all the time), maybe we're over complicating it.  I mean, love is a lot simpler than that.  It's not about candy and flowers and looks.  It's not about being the best.  It's not based on winning or losing or playing games.

The Bible has the purest definition of it, actually.  1 Corinthians chapter 13, verses 4 through 8 reads:

       "Love is patient, love is kind.  It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.  It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs.  Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth.  It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."

 This is actually a verse that I read a lot.  When I was single, it gave me something to strive for.  I wanted to know the love like this.  I knew God's love was like that, but I wanted a man to love me like it too.  Now that I have him, I see it a little differently.  Still good, still beautiful, but different.

So where do my views of love interesect with this beautiful passage?  Allow me to take it apart and show you.  (And please note, I'm not a Biblical scholar by any means; this is just how I apply the Bible to my life.)

"Love is patient, love is kind." 

If you want to be loved, and if you want to love, you need to be patient.  Again, we live in a society where everything is nearly instantaneous; it can't be that way with love.  You have to be willing to wait.  Same with kindness.  The more kindness and caring you send into the world, the more kindness and caring will be returned to you.  If you want it, you have to be able to give it first.

"It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud."

Envy and pride will only eat at you and set you up for failure down the road.  Boasting and telling the world how great you are shows others that you are self-centered and egotistical.  Granted, there are times when it's appropriate to be proud of yourself, but not to an extent that causes everyone else to feel bad.  When I read this part, I think of love as quietly entering the room, unannounced.  (Which, for the record, it often is.  It was for me. =D)

"It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."

I fully believe that when you love someone, you will overlook their faults.  The things you thought you couldn't live with suddenly become less important.  Every mistake means nothing as long as they are still in your life.  You don't look to improve or promote yourself, but you try everything in your power to make sure the one you love is safe, taken care of, and shines.

"Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with truth."

Even if the truth hurts, it's better than a deceptive lie.  And with love, you learn to appreciate that honesty.  It helps your relationship mature, grow, and deepen.  The comfort needed to share even painful truths is a truly monumental thing.

"It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."

It offers safe haven like a parent, trusts even in the impossible like a child, hopes for a brighter tomorrow like a dreamer, and will carry on no matter how rocky the road becomes just like the Energizer Bunny.  It's so true.  Love - romantic or not - will encompas every aspect of life and growth and emotion.

"Love never fails."

This is a little trickier.  With so many divorce rates and whatnot, you would think this can't be true.  But think about it.  Even if you haven't seen a good friend in years, you still love them.  Even if you haven't spoken with a parent since you were a kid, a part of you still has some sort of love for them.  It never fails, it never goes away.  And if you truly love something or someone, nothing will be able to stop you.

So how do I know I'm in love?

Because I can't go a day without thinking about or talking to my boyfriend.  Because I'm sticking with a scarf project that I would normally have stopped already until I finish it.  Because he makes me, a lazy slob when it comes to cleaning, vacuum and take out the trash willingly in preparation for his arrival. 

Because I can't live a single day without him, and  I know it.  He makes me feel safe, he makes me hope for tomorrow, he makes me willingly trust, and he makes me want to continue moving forward more so than before.

That's love.  And that's where I am.

I hope you guys can find it, too.  And even if you can't find it in another, I hope you can find it in God.  It really is amazing.

~Meaghan

Friday, July 8, 2011

Early Morning Post.

Because my creativity has hit an all time low for the summer and I can't think of a better title for this post.

(Is that sad?  I feel like that's sad...)

It's Friday.  Summer is in full force and I feel it.  It's pretty humid here.  Now, don't judge.  By pretty humid, I mean pretty humid for the arid state of Colorado.  Compared to Missouri (my original home), this is just a normal week. 

But for here, it's sticky and hot.  I'm not a fan.  I do like the thunderstorms we've been getting, though.  So I guess it all evens out.  I just wish the tornado nightmares would stop.  It happens everytime the weather gets severe; nightmares start happening on a nightly basis about my family and loved ones getting caught in tornados.  They are usually horribly frightening dreams. 

Tornados are one of those things that I've always been afraid of.  Even coming from part of tornado alley, where you would think the fear would be crushed out of me.  But no.  There's just so much power involved with tornados, and they're so unpredictable.

I remember growing up in the Midwest.  We would get tornado warnings and watches all the time it seemed.  Each time, you'd grab your stuffed animals, make sure you had shoes on, and head into the basement.  The radio would get turned on, blankets would get pulled out, and we'd wait. 

My parents and sister were (and still are to an extent) more adventureous than I.  They would go out into the backyard (we had a walkout basement) and watch the hail and clouds.  Not me.  I was too scared of what was going on to allow myself to observe.  Instead, I would huddle in my corner of the basement, holding my stuffed Bunny and taking deep breaths.

We were always lucky, though.  The tornados never hit us; they hit either north or south of us.  And I had never seen a real tornado until we moved and were making a trip back from visiting MO.  Colby, Kansas will always give me chills, as will the National Weather Service Alert System.

We've been here in CO almost six years.  In fact, it will be six years as of next month.  And I'm still scared of tornados.  We get them here, but it's different.  The weather patterns are different, the colors are different, and the hiding locations are different.  We no longer have a basement; now we live on a second floor apartment. 

That frightens me.  The fact that all we can do is go into the bathroom and pray.  God has looked out for us so far, but still.  I like the concept of having a strong structure above us.

But everytime, we do ok.  And while the tornados still scare the hell out of me, I'm learning to cope.  Slowly but surely.

I hope you have a great day, dear readers.  Keep an eye on the sky.

~Meaghan

Thursday, July 7, 2011

The Trouble with Scarves...

...is that they take forever. 

I'm on a self-imposed deadline.  Harry Potter comes out on Friday of next week.  My boyfriend and I are going to go see it.  I have my Slytherin scarf completely knitted and blocked; all it needs are the tassels.

His scarf, not so much.

I know I have a short attention span when it comes to knitting.  I don't know why - I've been doing it long enough that I'm a quick knitter.  But large projects lose me.  I like toys, hats, the occasional sock.  Things that take maybe a few days to finish.

Large projects - scarves, blankets, sweaters, etc. - cause me to get bored.  I think it may be that it's because of the sheer magnitude of them.  "Knit for 20 inches in stockinette stitch" or "Continue working in pattern until it reaches desired size".  Yeah.  I like it when patterns shake me up.  Like the scarf I made over spring break.  It has three different types of cables in it, making it both interesting to look at and to knit.

This scarf is a boring pattern.  I love making things for my loved ones.  And I love the way it looks.  But seriously.  Twenty two rows of stockinette stitch in one color, then twenty two rows in the next color.  It bores me.

But I can do this.  I have faith.  It's not like the sweater that I've about abandoned.  (I can use that chunky yarn to make some awesome toys or a nice bulky hat...)  This is for someone I love, for a special occasion.

It will get done.

And then I can celebrate by using the needles to make a lovely hat.

~Meaghan

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Dog Sitting Champion.

I feel like I deserve a medal, actually. 

And no, I'm not being egocentric or big headed by any means.  I mearly speak the truth here.  Allow me to explain...

I'm dog sitting this week, starting today.  The weather?  Not sunny, not hot.  Well, hot.  And humid.  Oh, and did I mention the rain?  The rain that comes and goes in heavy spurts and that has flooded the apartment complex??

I normally love rain.  Do not get me wrong.

But I just spent 10 minutes out in it, holding an umbrella over the dog while she did her business.  She still got soaked, I got soaked, but hey.  We did it.  And then I tried to dry her off inside and she decided a better way would be to shake.

All over me.

Like I said, I deserve a medal.  One that says "Meaghan-is-awesome-and-should-always-be-recognized-as-such" or something along those lines.

Thank you for your time.

~Meaghan

Monday, July 4, 2011

The Fourth of July.

Happy Independence Day!!!!

It's going to be a hot one here.  I mean, we're talking like nearly 100 degrees where I am.  Fire dangers, fire restrictions, and fire warnings are all over the place.  No grilling for us.  At least, not right now.

It should still be a good day, though.  Time with the family, relaxing and knitting.  Reading, playing games, hanging out.  Fun stuff.

Wherever you are, I hope you have a happy and safe Fourth of July!

~Meaghan

P.S. - Sorry this is so short, my battery is about to die. =P

Friday, July 1, 2011

July at Last.

I feel like the summer has passed in a blissful blur.  I never thought I would experience the emotions that I've been priveledged to, that I would be this happy and content about change and moving forward.  It is an interesting thing.  At the same time, it is something that I am blessed to be a part of. 

Even as the summer is passing in a glorious blur.

As I move forward and time passes, a part of me is overwhelmed.  I will be 21 in a few weeks.  I will be finishing school next spring.  I have met the man I want to spend the rest of my life with.  I can't think about it all.  It's too much.

Whenever I do, I turn into a clinging child, looking to my parents for comfort and help.  On those days, I do not feel confident.  I wonder about where I'm going, what I'm doing.

But I can't live like that.  Life is beautiful, even through the changes.  You only get one chance to spend each day.  You never get the opportunity to go back and redo.  So why regret?  Why be afraid about what tomorrow may bring when you can love and laugh and dance today/

That is what I'm learning.  I'm learning that I need to experience each day at a time, and to love each moment.  And I do.  Oh, I do.

This life is amazing.

~Meaghan