Sunday, December 30, 2012

A Blog of Lists, 2012 Edition

Well, 2012 is over as of Tuesday.  I am very happy about this.  It has been perhaps one of the hardest years I remember, not just for myself, but for many across the board.

But there has been a lot of accomplishments this year. :) Thus, the series of lists I now present to you.

Things I Learned in 2012:

~How to bake killer chocolate chip cookies

~How to open my own online store

~How to knit a sweater

~How to knit socks from the toe up

~How to hold a baby properly

~How to design my own projects, such as sweaters and hats

~How to write knitting patterns

~How to play with color

~That the world won't end when an ancient calendar runs out

~That I hate being bossed around in the work place

~That I dislike getting up before 5 am

~That babysitting is a joy

~That gluten free cooking is easier than you think

~That anniversaries are to be enjoyed cause it can be a struggle to get there sometimes

~That a lot of good things require work

~That I can handle a lot more than I originally gave myself credit for

~That family is one of the most solid things you will ever have (I already knew this, but 2012 solidified it even further)

~That comparing yourself to others only leads to frustration

~That God is kind

~That I love Mario Brothers for some reason

~That spinning is just as addictive as I feared

~That I am capable

I won't go into all the books I read in 2012 because the list is monumental.  However, here are a few I really enjoyed from the year and would recommend:

~Thinner by Stephen King

~Eat Pray Love by Elizabeth Gilbert

~The Hunger Games Trilogy by Suzan Collins

~A Life in Stitches by Rachael Herron

~The Shop on Blossom Street by Debbie Macomber

~The Elementals by Francesca Lia Block

~Love Wins by Rob Bell

~Knitting Rules! by Stephanie Pearl-McPhee

From a movie point of view, it was a pretty good year too.  Here are some I really enjoyed that I saw for the first time this year:

~Repo: the Genetic Opera

~How to Lose Friends and Alienate People

~The Princess and the Frog



~The Men Who Stare at Goats

~The Dark Knight Rises

~Men in Black 3

~The Hunger Games


~The Fifth Element

And of course, all the stuff I managed to knit.  It's not as big as you would think, but I hit a lot of my goals here:

~Fall colored merino socks (for me)

~Windowpane bag

~Green, violet, and pink wool hat

~Barfly sweater in blue (my first sweater!)

~Purple socks (for Trevor)

~Heart hat (my first design!)

~A single purple glove, no mate

~Purple handwarmers (for Michelle)

~Pink and orange varigated socks (for Katie)

~Cherry Cordial Cardi in green (for me)

~Yellow washcloth

~Red shawl (for my neighbor)

~Rainbow socks (for Katie, currently to be reworked)

~Handspun chunky cowl (with yarn spun by Kristine!!!)

~Keep It Casual Cowl

~Absinthe sweater in purple (for Katie, shoulders to be reworked)

~Green striped socks (toe up)

~Pink cameo socks

~Forget-Me-Knot sweater in violet (my first sweater design!!!)

~Two charity hats

~Three ruffle scarves

~A Link hat from Legend of Zelda (for Trevor, my make it up as I go pattern)

~A prayer shawl in light blue (for mom)

~Mr. Dad Cardigan (for dad, my own design!!!!)

So it's been a pretty good year from a productivity stand.  My wishes for the new year are that it brings more lessons, more love, and more knitting.

Blessings to you and yours, dear readers.  I'll see you in 2013.


Sunday, December 23, 2012

Nearly Christmas!

This past week, both of my parents have been sick.  My mom has had a cold and my dad has had the flu. 

Today, my body decided it was time to join the party.  I have caught mom's cold.  It's lovely - dizziness, aches, and yet, not as bad as it could be.  For which I am thanful.

So my bestest friend in the world came in town for the holiday with her boyfriend.  We met up yesterday for some serious catch up and knit time.  Lo and behold, she got me a drop spinner and fleece for Christmas!  Some of the fleece she dyed for me in a beautiful mix of green and purple, and some of it's a natural fawn brown.  While we were out sipping chai teas at the local bookstore, she taught me to spin.

I have since become addicted to spinning.  I have my first bit drying in the bathroom.  It's so amazing to make my own yarn.  I feel like a part of me that I didn't know was lacking has been found.

Which of course was what I was afraid of.  Knitting, spinning, writing - my goodness I'm busy with fun.  I just need to remember to do laundry and stuff and I should be good.

Oh!  So I have a knitting book outlined.  With any luck, this year I will have some new patterns and a book ready to go to the editors somewhere.  Need to research that.

And with that, I'm off.  I don't think I can focus much longer.

If I don't get the chance to later, Merry Christmas and happy holidays, whatever you may celebrate.  :)


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Click Click Click

Why yes, dear readers, that would be the sound of my knitting needles.

First of all, I'm not as sad or angry as I was in the past post.  I went to my local yarnshop and got help finding a free pattern for beanies and some yarn, and I knit the pain and sorrow over what happened this week away.  I was going to mail them to Connecticut, but decided to ultimately give them to the youth director at my church who will give them to the local homeless. 

Those hats did me well.  It's like all the frustration and sorrow for the year melted away.  It was healing.  Selfish as that may seem, it was healing for me.  And I am grateful for that.

All my Christmas knitting is done, with two exceptions.  One is a lace hat (made with this yarn, which I love) for my sister.  I wanted to have it done by Christmas eve, but we'll see.   The other is a lace scarf for my best friend (made with this lovely yarn in a color called Eggplant which is out); it's my first time doing lace with lace yarn.  Total challenge, but I love it.

I'm currently working on experimenting with Fibonacci sequences with knitting.  So today I cast on for a shawl (no pattern, just a whim) with four colors of Wool-Ease worsted, and am running with it.

Today is actually perfect knitting weather, too.  We're in the middle of a blizzard (yay) and no one has to be anywhere til later.  Both of my parents are sick, which sucks, but it's very quiet here.  (Aside from the coughing and sneezing.)  The tree is lit and I am as comfy as can be on the couch. :)

Life is good.  Balance has been restored to my world.

Take a moment today dear readers to remember your joys.

Blessings to all.


Friday, December 14, 2012


I can't articulate it.  I can't wrap my head around it.  I can't understand it.

Today, a shooter went into an elementary school in CT and opened fired.  28 people are dead.  At least 20 of those are children under the age of 10.

Children.  Innocent children. 

Kids who were looking forward to Santa coming.  Kids who played with their parents, pets, friends, siblings.  Kids who had dreams of growing up and being big kids and wearing make up and driving cars and being whatever they wanted to be.

Kids who will never see another day.

There are eleven days to Christmas. 

These children were our future.  Some stupid, fucking psycho went in and destroyed lives, futures, dreams, hopes.  He destroyed innocence. 

How can God let this happen? 

I am angry.  I am angrier than I was with the Batman shooting, which is saying something.  How can this be right?

I suppose there will be a reason this happened.  But for now, all I can see is senseless violence tearing apart the frail innocence and care of lives. 

And I am angry at God.


Wednesday, December 12, 2012


Hey there, dear readers.

Lately, I've been so full of confusion and chaos, it isn't even funny.  Where do I go next?  Should I get a full time job?  Should I go back to school?  Or should I just keep doing what I'm doing?

Don't get me wrong, I love what I'm doing.  I love knitting, designing, watching my neighbor's son.  But part of me is bored.  I don't know why.  I feel like something is missing; I miss being in school.

Which I guess is good enough reason to go back.  If I go back, it'll be online.  I crave knowledge, but not other people at the moment.  It wears me out being around too many folks.  Go figure that.

What will I do?

I've been praying so much about the jobs I've applied for, about direction and guidance.  But the noise in my head is so loud most times that I can't hear beyond my own anxious, racing breath.

How do you find a center?  How do you let the Devine guide you and ultimately trust that it will be the right path?

And these are questions that have no permanent answer it seems.  We live and love and trust, and deep in our souls we know the presence of that higher power, the one who steers us through the course of our lives.

I suppose the biggest thing is to breathe.  That's probably a good start.  Calm in, worry out.  Peace in, anger out.  Love in, bitterness out.

It's a mantra, isn't it?  I just realized that.  Counting breaths is like counting waves.  Calm.  Constant.  Echos of echos on the wind.

I digress. 

I think I shall take my own advice and go count my breathing.


Monday, December 3, 2012

A Year in the Life

Hi there, dear readers.  I know it's only December 3rd, but I'm ready to recap it all.  You know, in case the world really does end or, more likely, before I lose my train of thought.

It's been an interesting year here.  And not just for me, but for everyone, I think.  There's been good and bad, joy and anger, all kind of rolled into a ball. 

The bad has truly been bad.  Statewide and nationally, it seems 2012 has been filled with crisis after crisis.  We've had fires and shootings and missing children.  There have been hurricanes and earthquakes and pain after pain.  I stopped watching the news this year; it was too much. There have been politics ripping the nation apart, people turning on one another due to red or blue affiliation.  There has been lost love.

But it's been incredible watching communities band together.  People who don't know each other bringing flowers to memorials, helping with search parties, making sandwhiches for those who are out of power or food or home.  It's refreshing, it's beautiful, and it restores my faith in humanity.

On a personal level, this year has been incredibly hard.  My boyfriend and I had to go through some serious crap in the spring.  I've had more anxiety, depression, and panic attacks than I think I've ever had; crying every day for weeks is no way to live. 

I've had heartbreak as friends have left my life because I no longer offer what they need or want.  I've had pain as I watch those around me struggle to grasp onto something tangible.  I've felt more lonely this year than I have in a long time.

I got a taste of mortality this year, not once, not twice, but many times, most indirectly but enough to shake my bubble.  You can't live with your head in the clouds forever, it seems.  There was illness and horrible bosses and fights.

But there's been so much good, too.  My family and I are closer than ever; they've never faltered.  My boyfriend is healthy and our relationship more open and stronger than it ever was.  I've reconnected with friends I hadn't spoken with in a long time and I've strengthened some of my relationships.

There was a lot of joy.  Joy in meeting family I didn't know I had and who I loved instantly.  Joy in finishing school.  Joy in knowing what I want out of my life and in no longer being anyone's puppet.  Joy in watching those around me grow. 

Joy in teaching children and learning through their innocence.  Joy in designing and creation and in making socks and sweaters.  Joy in starting my own business.

There's been wonder, a deeper relationship with the Devine.  Love and laughter and tickle fights and lunches with my sister and so much I can't even describe.  With all the pain and hurt,  somehow I have never felt so full of love and life.

There are goals for the future now.  Knitting books I dream to write, wooded paths I plan to walk, stories I plan to tell.  Love I plan to enjoy and share, better than ever before.

Why do I share all this?  Because it's important.  The good will always outweigh the bad.

No matter who you are, no matter where you're going, no matter what part of this fits you, whether you be just a reader, a wanderer, one who left, one who stayed, one who doesn't even know me, I want to thank you.  Thank you for sharing a bit of my journey with me.  Thank you for letting me be your friend for a little bit and for letting me know you and letting me walk with you for a ways on the road of life.

I love you all.

Blessings on your way.