Monday, December 3, 2012

A Year in the Life

Hi there, dear readers.  I know it's only December 3rd, but I'm ready to recap it all.  You know, in case the world really does end or, more likely, before I lose my train of thought.

It's been an interesting year here.  And not just for me, but for everyone, I think.  There's been good and bad, joy and anger, all kind of rolled into a ball. 

The bad has truly been bad.  Statewide and nationally, it seems 2012 has been filled with crisis after crisis.  We've had fires and shootings and missing children.  There have been hurricanes and earthquakes and pain after pain.  I stopped watching the news this year; it was too much. There have been politics ripping the nation apart, people turning on one another due to red or blue affiliation.  There has been lost love.

But it's been incredible watching communities band together.  People who don't know each other bringing flowers to memorials, helping with search parties, making sandwhiches for those who are out of power or food or home.  It's refreshing, it's beautiful, and it restores my faith in humanity.

On a personal level, this year has been incredibly hard.  My boyfriend and I had to go through some serious crap in the spring.  I've had more anxiety, depression, and panic attacks than I think I've ever had; crying every day for weeks is no way to live. 

I've had heartbreak as friends have left my life because I no longer offer what they need or want.  I've had pain as I watch those around me struggle to grasp onto something tangible.  I've felt more lonely this year than I have in a long time.

I got a taste of mortality this year, not once, not twice, but many times, most indirectly but enough to shake my bubble.  You can't live with your head in the clouds forever, it seems.  There was illness and horrible bosses and fights.

But there's been so much good, too.  My family and I are closer than ever; they've never faltered.  My boyfriend is healthy and our relationship more open and stronger than it ever was.  I've reconnected with friends I hadn't spoken with in a long time and I've strengthened some of my relationships.

There was a lot of joy.  Joy in meeting family I didn't know I had and who I loved instantly.  Joy in finishing school.  Joy in knowing what I want out of my life and in no longer being anyone's puppet.  Joy in watching those around me grow. 

Joy in teaching children and learning through their innocence.  Joy in designing and creation and in making socks and sweaters.  Joy in starting my own business.

There's been wonder, a deeper relationship with the Devine.  Love and laughter and tickle fights and lunches with my sister and so much I can't even describe.  With all the pain and hurt,  somehow I have never felt so full of love and life.

There are goals for the future now.  Knitting books I dream to write, wooded paths I plan to walk, stories I plan to tell.  Love I plan to enjoy and share, better than ever before.

Why do I share all this?  Because it's important.  The good will always outweigh the bad.

No matter who you are, no matter where you're going, no matter what part of this fits you, whether you be just a reader, a wanderer, one who left, one who stayed, one who doesn't even know me, I want to thank you.  Thank you for sharing a bit of my journey with me.  Thank you for letting me be your friend for a little bit and for letting me know you and letting me walk with you for a ways on the road of life.

I love you all.

Blessings on your way.


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