Friday, December 31, 2010

New Years Eve

Time to make some New Years Resolutions.

Normally, I'm not one for resolutions.  I typically think they are pointless and a waste of time and effort.  I mean, come on.  How many of your resolutions do you actually keep?  I think it takes more energy to make resolutions and then try to keep track of them than it does to just live life.

But this year is different.

2011 is going to be my year.  There are three things I want to do this year, three things I am striving toward.  And I'm going to do my best to do them. 

The first goal is to reflect God more clearly in my life.  I realized the past two weeks that I want to be a Godly woman, not a woman of the world.  (Read Proverbs 31 - it gives you an idea of where I'm going with this.)  I want to be the kind of woman who trusts more than she worries, who loves more than she holds grudges, who is kind to everyone.  I want to reflect God.  I can not help but think that it will make me feel better and make life seem sunnier.  I do not want to be worldly.

Which brings me to goal number two: No More Conforming.  I'm the kind of person who tries to please everyone, and in doing so, I lose who I really am.  No more.  I do not need to please everyone.  I do not need everyone to like me.  I am going to instead be myself 24-7.  If people can not accept me for who I am, then I do not need them in my life.  I am going to be me: dorky, funny, odd, talkative, studious, etc.  All the things that some people have tried to change in me; all the things that I find myself changing for others.  This is my year to just be.

And finally, I want to run a half marathon.  I am kind of overweight and I want to lose that extra poundage.  It's not even from a vanity point of view; I actually am ok with how I look.  It's for health reasons.  I don't want to get the diabetes and heart problems and whatever else is lurking on both sides of my family tree.  I want to be healthy so I can live a long time. 

Why a half marathon?  Because I was inspired by the Biggest Loser and by two of my friends who both do marathons.  I am inspired to run, to power walk, to become active.  And if I don't do the half marathon this fall (because training is intense and I'm really out of shape), then I will do it in the spring.  I just want to accomplish something.  So I start training today.  I'm getting on a treadmill and I'm going to work my way up to running.  I'll feel better, and I know it.

So there you have it.  My three New Year goals.  Now it's your turn.  Are you going to do anything?  Why are you doing it?

Have a brilliant New Year eve, my readers, and I will see you on the other side.


Wednesday, December 29, 2010

Finally, Snow.

At least, in theory we're supposed to get some.  You know, it's kind of odd, dear readers.  Normally by now I'm complaining non-stop about how much I hate snow and want it to go.  This year has been such a fluke, though.  Very little to no snow; it's kind of driving me nuts.  I want snow.

I think this proves that women are impossible to please.  Myself included.

So today I went to the craft store with my mom and sister.  I got a gift card from my relatives for Christmas and I was eager to spend it, not to mention the fact that all the yarn was on massive "end of year" sale.  The whole isle was covered with orange clearance tags.

I was so overwhelmed.  Some women get overwhelmed by jewelry sales, some by clothing or shoe sales.  I get overwhelmed by yarn sales.  Make of that what you will.

Finally I decided to get some really nice soft yar that was on sale for two bucks a skein (normally it goes for like five a skein) and make a blanket.  My mom and sister helped me pick out the colors; by that point I was nearly numb. 

Of course, I was also kind of in a carb snooze mood too, so that may have played a bigger part of it.

I got some other things too, just to make it clear.  I may be a yarn junkie, but I like other things too.  I got a pack of buttons (in various colors for various projects) and some needle covers (so stitches don't fall off my double points).  But back to the yarn.

The thing about me and knitting is that I typically like projects that are fast and convient.  Yeah, knitting is fun, but I don't have the patience for long term commitment.  I have yet to do anything like sweaters.  In fact, I think this is the first year where I've actually finished everything I've started.  I typically start one project and leave it when another comes my way. 

Not anymore.

This is my first time doing a blanket.  It's done is squares, so that should help.  It's going to be a country blue, a wine red, and a forest green when it's all said and done.  I think the appeal of doing one right now is that it's winter and it's cold (at least, it's starting to get that way now).  Blankets are great keepsakes and are actually useful.

I like making useful things from time to time.

I'll let you know how it goes.  I would post pictures of some of the other projects I've done - the frog I made my sister, the tie for my dad, the socks for my mom, my crazy hat, etc. - but I can't seem to figure out how to post them.  As soon as I do, though, you guys will hate me for it.  Lol.

I think that's about it.  Several more deaths have occurred: Trace Beaulieu's dad passed, James Brown passed, and a few others.  I don't know if I can handle anymore death.  My mom says it's affecting me more because I'm more aware of what it means and of what's going on.  Maybe I'm just really becoming emotional as I get older.  I honestly don't know.

So please, keep everyone in your prayers.  The woman I blogged about earlier this week is having her husbands memorial service tomorrow; the man I blogged about earlier had his father's today.  It's so hard, especially around the holidays.  I can not imagine what everyone who lost a loved one must be going through.

Life is short; tell those around you that you love them and don't take anything for granted.

And on that note, I'm going to leave you.  I have a blanket square to work on.


Monday, December 27, 2010

I Like Mustard.

A lot, as it turns out. 

Something you may not have known about me, dear readers: I used to be a ketchup-aholic.  That's right.  My teen years were spent putting the sweet red stuff on nearly everything I ate - mac and cheese, chicken dishes, beef dishes, pork dishes, hot pockets, eggs, sandwiches, etc.  I could not get enough of the stuff.  I think the only things that I did not put it on were pizza and mashed potatoes.

That's how much I loved it.  But alas, all good things have to end.  After a while, ketchup and I began to grow apart.  Sure, I still like it on the occasional Wendy's burger and fry box.  But as the years progressed, I started to change and drift.  I went through a period of experimenting with different condiments: ranch, bbq sauce, hot sauce.  All were good in passing for a quick, one snack night, but none had lasting potential.

  But then something happened and now it seems like I have a new sauce to love.  A sauce that is tangy rather than sweet.  A sauce that still stains much the same as I dribble it down my shirt in a moment of mindless fry-shoving panic.


I honestly never thought I would like mustard.  After all, if ketchup is one of the sweetest food toppings you'll ever find, mustard was the opposite.  Tangy, vinegar-y, and yellow.  I thought it would never work out between us.

But then  I started eating mustard over the summer.  At first, it was one of those health kick things I get from time to time.  'Mustard cleans you out', 'mustard helps you lose weight', etc.  Naturally I felt the need to try something that would help me lose weight and clean out my system.

I never expected to love the taste as much as I did.

Now I put mustard on nearly everything, much like I did ketchup all those years.  I like the fact that mustard is tangy and adds kind of a kick to everything from sandwiches to eggs.  I especially like the spicy mustard with the bits in it.  Plain spicy is good too, but the spicy deli stuff is my favorite.  It makes a Subway sandwich for me.

It's kind of like banana peppers.  I started eating those because eating spicy helps clean you out and gets your metabolism going - aka, you lose weight.  Now I can't have a Subway sub without them and the spicy mustard.

What a world this is coming to.  Oh well, at least it's tasty and good, right?


Sunday, December 26, 2010

Where to Begin?

Hey again, my dear readers.  So, it's after the holidays and I have so many things I want to talk about.  I can honestly say I have no clue where to begin. 

At the beginning, I suppose.  That might be a good place.

As you remember from my previous entry, a wonderful woman lost her husband the day before Christmas eve.  I never knew him, but I worked with his now widow - I know he must have been a wonderful man, because she was so sweet and wonderful to me.  I can not imagine what their family must be going through; my heart still aches for them, three days later.  Please, keep them in your prayers.

Christmas eve came.  The puppet show at church was fantastic and went off without a hitch.  My sister was the solo puppet for a cover of Springsteen's "Born in the USA" called "Born in Bethlehem".  She was amazing.  I got to be a sheep dressed as a 1950's secretary for another cover.  Not as thrilled with that song as I was with Kate's solo.

And then came the big one.

We did this thing that I can barely pronounce, let alone spell, which was done entirely in black light.  The song was an African cover of  "Oh, Holy Night".  Our hands had white gloves on them to glow in the black light, there were signs with African masks painted on them in black light paint, and black light puppets.  What we did was form a line on either side of the stage and pass these pieces that were painted in black light paint in rhythm to the song, creating a really cool look.  The person at the end of each line took the pieces and placed them on a board in a set pattern.

When the song was done, a plug in the middle of the board was taken out and all that the audience could see were our hands in prayer and a glowing cross. 

I got lucky enough to go home after helping with two services and sitting through a third - Kate wasn't so lucky.  She had to play handbells at a fourth service.

When I got home, I decided to check my Facebook account before unwinding. (Yeah, I have a Facebook.  If you feel inclined, you can look me up...)  That was when I found out that the father of one of the guys who helps with the youth group had died.  I was heartbroken, because the man who helps with youth group has been such a great support to my sister and myself, and to lose someone over the holidays - on Christmas eve - is brutal.

It was the second death in two days that I had learned about via Facebook.

I broke down.  The deaths, the lack of sleep preppin for the holidays, the fact that I had just gotten over a cold - all of it had taken every dime of emotional energy out of me.  I ended up in the kitchen with my mom, where she gave me a talk about death.

 I'm twenty and I can honestly say I do not know what I would do without my mom.  Yeah, we have our bouts and we have our shouting matches from time to time, and sometimes I swear we're the most dysfunctional family on the block.  But the truth is, she's one of the only people I trust with my emotions like that.  And she almost always makes me feel better about things.

I felt better after our talk.  My sister and dad made it home and we had pot roast for dinner.

Christmas came and it was beautiful.  No snow, but you can't have everything.  My mom liked the socks I made, and my dad seemed to like the tie.  Kate loved the frog and bag I made.  I got some cool stuff too - I got a nice vanilla sugar scrub that my sister made and that smells like sugar cookies, some great handwarmers that my mom made and that I'm wearing as I type this, a copy of the Breakfast Club on VHS from my dad (it's a memory thing, which did not go unnoticed by me), a stylish knitting bag and needle case, and a book of sock patterns among many others.

It was a wonderful Christmas.  I got to relax, knit all day (I completed a penguin that I had started the day before, minus the sewing), and spend time with my family.  Then I got to go to bed in my new pj's (it's a tradition. =D )

Which leads us to today. 

More lounging about and knitting (I'm working on mastering socks), and I did laundry.  I think that about sums it up.  Oh, and I blogged.

You know, it's funny.  I don't always write on here, but I always write something every day.  One of these days, I'm going to be published.  I just know it. =)

And now I must bid you farewell.  Socks don't finish themselves.  Also, please keep praying, both for the two mentioned in this blog, and for the many who lost loved ones.  Thanks.


Friday, December 24, 2010

Life is Short. =(

Hi guys.  Yeah, I know I haven't blogged in a while.  It's the week of Christmas and I've been swamped with trying to stay sane.  And yeah, I realize it's after 1 in the morning.  I'm exhausted, trust me.  But I have to blog about something that's bothering me.

I just found out that a woman I worked with at Sylvan lost her husband yesterday.  This woman is probably one of the sweetest people you'll ever meet, and is one of the teachers I miss working with the most.  She is kind, generous, funny, and just a great person to be around.  She also has two very small little boys.

The fact that this happened to her, that her husband died in her arms from the flu, bothers me.  It really does bother me.  I've always considered myself to be pretty immune to death and the notion of dying.  After all, when most girls my age were planning their weddings, I was planning my funeral (I know it sounds awful, but it's true; I now am planning my imaginary wedding though, so we've moved on...).  But this news makes me incredibly sad.

Can you imagine what she must be going through?

To go through life and find that one person who God has created just for you, your soul mate and other half is a great thing.  To start a family with that person must be wonderful.  But then to have that other half of yourself ripped away suddenly when you think you have more time to be with them.  It must be awful. 

Especially with the holidays so close.  Christmas is technically tomorrow.

It makes me cry, actually.  I'm in tears for this wonderful woman as I write this blog.  I cannot imagine how heartbreaking it is.  I can't comprehend the pain she must be going through.

I know I don't do this very often, guys, but please pray for her.  Please.  No matter what your faith is or what you believe, please offer up a prayer for comfort and strength for her and her sons.  I know that God will help them weather the storm, but she needs all the extra comfort we can provide.

And guys.  Life is short.  This is what I've learned from this.  It can be over before you know.  Don't assume you have all the time in the world.  Tell the people you love what they mean to you.  Hug those you care for.  Touch the life of those around you.  You only have one shot at this thing called life, and it can be over in a flash.

Until we meet again, please do pray for this wonderful woman.


Tuesday, December 14, 2010


It's been a while.  Sorry bout that, guys.  Life has this funny way of catching up when we least expect it.

A quick summary and then we'll move on:

My mom hurt her knee last week.  It appears that physical therapy is going to help, so she won't need surgery; that being said, she's been off it all week.  Which means that I'm kind of in charge.  I've been making two to three meals a day, doing the running, and just helping out as well as I can around here.

It's a lot of work.  I have a new-found respect for what my mom does.

Then my sister hurt her toe.  So, it's been an interesting few weeks.


Yesterday I knitted my first sock ever.  I'm kind of excited about it.  Sock patterns used to freak me out.  I would look at them and get instantly intimidated.  Turning of the heel?  Decreasing the toe?  It's like terror on a page!  The truth is, though, it really isn't that hard.  It's actually kind of fun.

My sister and I affectionately call my sock "Frankensock" because the combination of yarn I used (it's a varigated full of oddness) and the slightly off diminsions of the sock (for a first time, it could've been a lot worse) make it look totally wonky.  I'm in the process of making a mate for Frankensock, because socks are always in pairs.

I call her the "Bride of Frankensock".  Yeah, you can groan.  It's ok.

But I got distracted from making the Bride today because of something even more important:  I'm helping design a Christmas present.

Basically (and I can't go into too much detail here because my dad reads this from time to time), my sister needed something to make for our dad.  We got to brain storming and I had the perfect idea; she liked it.  So now I'm taking a simple concept and creating a knitting pattern for her to follow to make it more personal.

That's as much detail as you get until after the holidays.  I'm pretty excited, though, cause I've wanted to design a chart pattern.  It's another step in becoming a great knitter.  It is a lot harder than I thought it would be, but I'm enjoying it.

I can't believe Christmas is only 11 days away.  It blows my mind.  This year has gone by incredibly fast.  I hope I get everything done.  I'm pretty sure I will. =)

Until next time, readers.


Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Hey Guys!

I got a 4.0!

Just sayin.  That is all.

Sunday, December 5, 2010

No Title is Fine Here.

My last unmarried cousin just got engaged.  It's a wonderful thing, and he deserves all the happiness that is going to come his way.  I love the woman he proposed to - I can't even get into how awesome she is.

But even amid the happiness, one thought popped into my mind: I'm Next.

It almost feels like a sentence.  Don't get me wrong, I love the idea of getting married.  I would be content to settle down, maybe have a family, the whole nine yards.  It's just...

None of the guys I've known have really impressed me to the point of wanting to date them, let alone marry them.  I still want to finish getting my degree and live on my own for a while.  I want to party, to dance, to submerse myself in books and paper and ink.  I want to have a stand-up comedy routine and publish a novella.  I want to do roller derby, break a bone, start my own yarn line. 

Basically, the idea of being tied down right now scares the heck out of me.

Even more than that, this news has made me realize that I am getting older.  Yeah, twenty isn't ancient or anything, but I still can't wrap my head around the thought of being a responsible adult.  No joke.  It's hard.

I think the only guy I would date right now is the Boy-With-The-Jade-Braces.  And even then I'm not sure.

Time to trust God.  And breathe.  And enjoy whatever comes my way.

Ok, cool.

So in other news, my writing instructor told me I should try to enter a writing contest with a piece I wrote.  I think I'm going to do it.  I'm pleased with how it turned out, and I want to try to get published.  If I win the contest at school, I'll be published in a magazine.  If I don't, I still get some exposure because my piece will be read by the judges.  I don't see a downside to this.

Also, I am thinking about applying for a job at a yarn store.  Knitting has been a lifesaver in more than one way the past few months, and it would be amazing.  The position basically means that I sit in the store and knit.  I'll help people with their knitting problems and get to understand the yarn industry better.  Again, I don't see a downside with this, either.  I sent the email and am waiting to see if I hear back about it.

I can't really think of anything else off the top of my head.  I'm massively allergic to cats, which came to light this week as I was cat sitting for one of my neighbors.  I go into her apartment and not five minutes later, my eyes are burning and I can't breathe out of my nose.  And her apartment is kept clean, too, with no cat hair anywhere.  It bums me out.

Oh well.  I can always knit myself a cat. =D

Have a great night, readers. 


Saturday, December 4, 2010


Three blogs in three days.  What is this, a new record or something?  I mean, geesh, it's so rare for me to update this often.  Know what?  I blame school being over.

I feel weird not having any homework to be done or tests to be preppin' for.  And no, I'm really not an over acheiver.  I just happen to enjoy school.  I like learning new stuff, meeting new people, trying new things.  Not a big fan of tests or major research papers, but I seriously doubt anyone is.  I'm ready for the grades to be posted so I'll know what I did this semester; I was hopeful for a 4.0 but after that history final, I have my doubts...

Ok, fine.  I'm an over acheiver.  Happy?  Good.  Let's move on now.

So anyway, not being in school makes me want to blog more.  It makes me feel like I'm being scholarly and productive.  What am I going to do when I get out of school and am working full time without any classes?  I think I may go nuts.  I don't want to be stagnent in my learning.

Thank goodness for libraries. 

Libraries are amazing.  All the books you can read, always at your fingertips.  Each isle is filled with books ranging from humorous to serious to just plain boring.  If left alone, I am able to spend hours just browsing the shelves, grabbing whatever catches my eye or sounds interesting.  I usually come home with a stack or books and then only read one or two of them.  But those one or two are worth it. 

I love getting lost between the pages of a great book.  It's like a mini vacation without ever actually leaving.  I used to be a huge fantasy fan but then I realized that with one or two exceptions, all fantasy books follow the same basic format.  So I got bored and moved on to horror and romance and real-life novels (I think they have a specific term, but I can't think of it off the top of my head.  They aren't creative non-fiction, although I do like those.  These actually follow a character or group of characters in their day-to-day lives in real time.  It's hard to describe.).

 I still like some fantasy (like the Lord of the Rings and Harry Potter), but I really love stories the incorporate elements of the fantastical with reality.  The best example I can give for this is any writing by Francesca Lia Block.  She is amazing.  Her stories always mix fantasy with reality and are done in a lyrical writing style.  I love the "Weetzie Bat" book series, "Violet and Claire", and the collection of fairytale re-writes she did called "The Rose and the Beast".  Everything by her is wonderful, though.

Ok, I've rambled enough on libraries.  Next thing you know, I'll be going on about bookstores and new books as if they were a type of fine wine.  I better stop while I'm a head.

Before I go, please be warned, dear readers.  If the past few days have been any indication, I will be updating more and more frequently as break continues.

Until we meet again,


Friday, December 3, 2010

It's Friday.

And I have no homework.  I think I may jump up for joy. 

Or not.  We shall see.

Last night I dreamed about roller derby.  I was amazing - the skates flowed beneath my feet with power.  I woke up twenty minutes before my alarm went off.  No school, no homework.  It appears to be a nice day.

In theory, skating seems so easy.  Just push off with one leg and glide on the other, back and forth until your calves are numb.  Reality is that I have very little balance and therefore have more trouble.  But I think I might be slowly getting the hang of it.  I have to be 21 to do derby, so I'll be eligiable next summer.  To save strain on my mom though and to be able to afford it, I think I'm going to wait until after I graduate in 2012.  Then I'll be working full time, will have my own car, and will be moving out with my sister.

Maybe I'll practice skating today.

Or maybe I'll finish Pokemon Emerald on my laptop.  That's right, I have the original game downloaded onto my computer.  I'm awesome like that.

More than likely, though, I won't do either.  I'll write or read or knit.  I still have a mountain of gifts to finish.

Alright, readers, I'm headed out for the day.  Enjoy your Friday!


Thursday, December 2, 2010

Well, It's Over.

My semester, I mean.  Come on, guys.  What else would I be talking about here?

Anyway.   It's done.  Fall 2010 is over.  I had my finals today, which felt brutal.  Not gonna lie there.  I should probably try this thing called studying.  (No, I don't really study in the traditional sense; yes, I do manage to pass.  Somehow.  Don't hate me, k?  I listen well in class.)

I don't know how to feel.  In a way, I am soo glad this semester is over.  It was long, it was exhausting, it was full of stress and sweat and tears.  I was sick all the time.  I was tired most of the time.

But -

I loved this semester.  I think this was my favorite semester at school, just because I was able to be  I didn't hang with people who made me feel like I was out of place, I didn't work (at least, not after the third or fourth week of semester), I didn't have any obligations except to myself and to my family.  It was nice.

And the classes.  I loved the classes I took.  I finally realized this semester that I am a writer.  Discovering that was great.  I always knew I loved to write, but my Creative Writing class solidified it for me.  And I got to say "fuck" over 100 times in a page long paper for the class.  I got out of my comfort zone. I learned to write more in my own style, and watched my work improve by leaps and bounds.  My history class challenged me to go beyond my typical work.  It was interesting, fresh, and hard - something I needed to motivate myself.  My music class was boring at times, but through it I rediscovered my love of Beethovan and Tchaikovsky.  (I'm pretty sure I did not spell that right, but hang with me, folks.)

I met people.  I met a woman in my music class who not only knits like I do but who also does roller derby, which is my shoot-for-the-stars dream.  I met another woman in that class who's a single mom singing in a rock band.  I got to know the guy who sat in front of me in History and never had a dull moment after that.  The girl in History who I ate lunch with, the girl in writing who sometimes joined us, the other girl in writing who I can't imagine not being friends with.  It was incredible this semester. 

There were laughs, tears, giggles.  There were papers and tests and readings.  I read outloud a piece I wrote in front of a group last night for the first time.  I left my comfort zone behind me and I can't imagine going back now.  And I think I may have gotten over my fear of elevators.  Or at least had it lessen.

Of course, there are people I wish I had been able to get to know this semester.  Like the guy who sat in front of my friend and next to Hollister boy in History.  Or like the guy who sat behind me in Music.  Or even like the girl who sat in front of me in History.  And, of course, Hat Boy, who fell off the face of the earth, it seems.

But that's why there's next semester.  Things that are supposed to be happen.  Things that aren't leave their mark on our hearts and leave like bubbles - no use trying to grab them, just admire them as they go.

So, I am now on break for a month.  Or more.  I'm not really sure.

I plan on knitting like there is no tomorrow, practice my roller skating skills (or lack thereof), and maybe catching up on my reading.  Basically, I just want to take it easy. 

And tonight, it's bubble bath night and then sleep.  Cause as I said before, those tests were freaking brutal.

Until the next time, my readers.