Things With 8 Legs Really Are Just...Unnatural.

Yep, it's time for another anti-spider blog. Let us begin, shall we?

I know it's been a while since my last spider rant (a few months, I want to say, but I'm not entirely sure...). And honestly, I thought I had gotten it out of my system. But a series of events has occured that has forced me to write another post.

Mainly, I got mauled by a spider last week.

That's right. Not just bitten. Mauled. As in, something a bear would do was commited by a spider last week. I woke up one morning and my back was itchy. I wasn't overly concerned, as I usually get dry skin on my back fairly bad. However, I looked in the mirror and was promptly horrified.

My back and shoulder are covered in bites. It looks as though I was going at it with a spider American Gladiator style, except that I was asleep the whole flippin time and couldn't properly fight back.

And now everything itches. It's been almost a week and I have been scratching, and scratching, and SCRATCHING my bites, and it makes everything else itch too, like my skin is being sympathtic to the bite region or something. It is really starting to irritate the living daylights out of me.

I am putting this on my list of why spiders are evil. Cause, let's face it, they are. Evil and unnatural.

Thank you for your time.

~Meaghan

Things with eight legs are really just unnatural.

I have to admit it - I hate spiders. Ok, it's not really hate, it's more of a scream-when-I-see-one-bordering-hysteria type of thing. My family laughs at me for it, but...ew. Eight legs? Eight eyes? Two horrible vicious fangs ready to bite at a drop of a hat??

Think about it for a moment. Spiders have the creepiest structure know out there. I know they are supposed to be beneficial to nature and humans and blah, blah, blah; really, though, have you ever had one stare you down? They look at you with those beady eyes (all horrid eight of them) and it's like they know exactly what you are thinking and the power they have over you.

I have to say it really is an irrational fear. I mean, I know I'm like a gazillion times bigger than any given spider, and yet... For the record, though, have you seen a Colorado wolf spider? We had one in our apartment shortly after moving from Missouri to here, and I just about went crazy. All I saw were the remains in the trash and that was all I needed - I swear the thing was at least an inch across and that was in death! It was like the godzilla of wild spiders.

Actually I bet it was the king of the spiders and now the spiders have been plotting for three years on the best way to destroy us. I really hope I'm wrong...

Spiders tie with elevators for my number one fear. Elevators are a logically explained fear, though - so many things can go wrong with them (stalling, dropping, shredded cords, power outages, etc...) and I over think things so much that I think that one is to be expected. But spiders...

I do have a theory. My dad (hi dad!) is a channel surfer. He always has been and always will be; he sits on the couch with the remote in hand, flipping until he sees something he deems interesting or until my mom or I take the remote from him. When I was probably about five or six, he did the same thing with me in the room and stopped on the film Arachnaphobia (is that even spelled right?). To this day, I still remember the scene where all the spiders flood out of the sink.

Okay, I'm done. Too much creepy crawliness. My next blog will be more...normal? I just had to get that out though - eight legged things do not float my boat. Ew.

Oh, and the moral of the story is don't scar your kids early on, cause it will scar them for life. I am living proof.

Let's think happy thoughts...