Saturday, December 19, 2009

Why am I doing this blog thing again...?

I think it started out as a way to get my writing published in some form or another. Then it morphed into a way of reminding myself that I actually do have a life outside of work and family. And then it became a way of proving to myself that I really am a procrastinator at heart. I mean, the last time I updated this thing was back in October and here we are, the end of December. *sigh*

Anywhosit -

Today I am blogging because I have the jitters. No, it's not from an overabundance of caffiene. And no, it's also not because I've been watching a marathon of Star Trek and MST3K since November. (Although, that may be contributing, I don't know..) It's because of a social situation that I am about to be subjected to that I am jittery.

It's the company Christmas party.

I know, I know, it's really not a big deal. It's fun, actually. And I work well with everyone (at least, I think I do for the most part) and I like everyone I work with and I really do enjoy them all. But social situations like this make me so nervous for no apparent reason. I know it's a safe environment, and no one is out to get me, but I'm so afraid of doing something wrong.

Maybe it's just because I'm 19 and I still sometimes feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin, like a woolen sweater that's just a bit too hot and itchy. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to being the quiet shy girl that I haven't gotten my subconcious to understand that I am beyond that. I really don't know.

Maybe I'm afraid I'm the only one not bringing a guest. : (

Anyway, I'll survive. And I'll do it with dignity and my head up high. Or, at least however much dignity I can find. Aw, who am I kidding? Dignity is soo over rated!

On a lighter note, I have been watching an insane amount of MST3K. Let me emphasize INSANE here for a moment. It's gotten to the point where I am wondering what my life was like before Joel and the Bots and how I ever managed through finals without them. Cause really, that's what it started as. My improv group that I play with was horrified that I had no idea of what MST3K was ( as it turns out, I did have memories of a talking gumball machine watching movies - apparently dad watched it when I was little) and so I was encouraged to youtube it.

It is freaking amazing.

No. Seriously. If you have not seen it, go watch it now. Really. I'll wait. If anything, watch for the host segements. And make sure you watch the ones with Joel in them - he's freaking adorable; it's like the Bots are his kids or something.

So the week of finals I was stressed out anyway, so instead of studying, I started watching MST3K. Yes, I said it, and I would say it again. I HAVE NO REGRETS! Haha, okay that was a little melodramatic, but whatever. Anyway, it has sucked me in. Which is good, cause these sort of things always seem to happen when my life is at a time of utter monotony or stress; they give me something else to focus on for a while besides my own mundane routines.

So naturally, my brain is a little loopy now. Not that I really care, but I'm just saying... Come to think of it, I don't actually remember a time when my brain wasn't loopy. Such is the life I suppose.

Anyway, I have a cake I have to go frost for this thing tonight. I do believe this is the longest blog I've done in a very, VERY long time. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it (or at least found it fascinating), and if you haven't, well, too bad.

I'm gonna try to break the spell of procrastination. I mean it this time - college is making me focus more. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe?

Later Cyberland!

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