Tuesday, February 28, 2012

Blogging Madness and Optimism

Maybe I'm optimistic because I'm about to see my boyfriend next weekend.  Or maybe I'm optimistic because I've cried all the bad, sad feelings out.  Or maybe, just maybe, I'm optimistic because it's time to be.

Who knows?  Who cares?

It's stormy outside with snow and rain and sleet, but my mood is oddly...content.  I feel like I can finally see some sort of silverlining out there.  Bout time too.

I've given up on the traditional God.  I believe in God, I love God, I believe God loves me and has a plan for me (much like everyone else).  But I am done confining God to a box called Religion.  So I'm faithful and spiritual and religionless.  If that makes sense.  I feel I have a better relationship with the Devine now that I've kind of hit that point.  It's...freeing.

I'm still not sure what I'm going to do once I graduate.  Will I go back for more classes?  Will I get that full time job?

All I know is that whatever I do, I'm going to do it to the best of my ability.  I want to be the best Meaghan that I can be.  I don't need to be Elizabeth Zimmerman or T.S. Eliot or Sylvia Plath or Debbie Bliss.  I don't need to be my classmates, my professors, or anyone else.  I just need to be me.

Which is hard, because sometimes I really want to be elevated and great like my peers.  But we all have our own strengths and I'm realizing it's time I start playing to mine instead of forcing them to be like others.

So yeah.  I feel optimistic.  I'm even sitting up straighter, for whatever that's worth.  I'm reading books of poetry and meditations and techniques to free your creative juice from your inner critics.  I'm learning to design better things, and I'm knitting like never before. 

I'm even considering getting a shop on Etsy.  If I do, I'll post a link so you can see and maybe buy what I have up.

I hope that you, my dear readers, are hitting that point of quiet optimism.  It really is like breathing again.


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