Update Time!

I'm alive!  I'm in the thick of school, so that's why updating has become so spurratic.  (Is that with one "r" or two?  I never know.  Oh well...)  That and the weather is cold, making me just want to read and knit and write on paper instead of updating on here.

I'm ready for fall break.  My school never gives us a good fall break, just a Thanksgiving one.  And granted, we get out like the second week of December, I would love to have a week off in the middle of October.  That's usually when the burn out hits me the hardest.

I feel like I'm running out of ideas for my writing.  While my ideas are gradually vanishing, my teachers are gradually becoming more demanding.  We're going in opposite directions on the line graph, if you catch my drift here. 

I know I have great ideas, I just get worried about doing them for school.  Tomorrow, my first short story is being critiqued.  My instructor in the class is nice, but he also grades somewhat harshly.  And my peers.  Oh lord, my peers.  It can either be as nice as spending a summer day outside or as terrifiying as walking into a lion den.   It all depends on their mood.

I know this is what I signed up for when I started taking writing classes and when I chose this major.  But geez.  Does it really have to be so bad that I get anxiety two days before?

I've been doing some thinking, and I've come to a realization.  If I wasn't doing a writing major, I would be a textile design major.  That's because my love of knitting and yarn and color is so great.  I'm so into design right now that I look at pattern books and instantly think "yeah, but I can make that better and easier."

How awful is that?  Yeah, I still have a ton of knitting books and yeah, I still support the industry.  But I think I'm just about to a point where my own creative thoughts are becoming more of what I'm interested in.  I think that means it's time for me to start working on my book.

Ah, but anyway.

I need to get back to homework.  Somehow I have to stay on top of it.

Until the next time, dear readers.

~Meaghan

September's End

Today is the last day of September. I am amazed at how the time has flown.


School has been a bit of a love hate relationship with me this semester. There are times where I love the influx of information seeping into my mind, where I thrive off the energy and feelings of being surrounded by friends and students. But then there are times where I'm exhausted and not ready to get up, not ready to do the homework.
All in all, though, it's good. I got into the honor society at school. I'm in the process of training to be the communications officer, which at times feels daunting but totally worth it. My boyfriend and I are still happy, even if we are having a few squabbles here and there. (Don't all relationships have their squabbles? I think it's healthy for us - especially since we can talk about them afterwards and figure out what happened.) I have friends on and off campus, and I'm learning more about myself and the world around me.
It's a beautiful day today, this last day in September. It feels like fall. It smells like fall. And I feel alive. Completely and totally alive, like all my nerves are hyper aware and I can taste everything. It is an incredible feeling.
Life is beautiful, even with the ups and downs. And I will never forget that.
You should never forget that either, dear readers.


~Meaghan

A Taste of Fall

School is back in session.  This is week two and already I feel like I'm buried sky high in stuff.  Papers to do, chapters to read and take notes, critiquing to be done.

It's a little overwhelming.  But I know I'll pull through.  I always do.

I got a small taste of fall yesterday.  It was cool in the morning when I went to school, with the sky that shade of blue that anticipates September and October.  You know what I'm talking about.  Not the worn out blue haze of summer or the faded and cold blue chill of winter, but that viberant alive blue that only fall can bring.

I love fall.

I love the homework, even when it's burying me.  I love the leaves changing.  I love the drinks and food that comes around, like butternut squash and stews and caramel apple cider.  I love sweaters and cool breezes.  I love knitting warm, long projects that are too hot to work on during the summer.

I love everything about fall.

Well, except for the snow, but that's another complaint.

So even while it's still too warm to wear my favorite argyle sweater, and even while I'm buried six feet under in papers, I know fall is coming.

Soon.  Soon. :)

~Meaghan

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday...

Well, guys and gals, I need to apologize.  I never posted my Banned Book list.  Basically, I started it and had trouble stopping.  I'll try to get it up in a bit, but I'm making no promises, and those that I am making, I want everyone to know that my fingers are secretly crossed behind my back.

In other words, don't expect a lot.

That being said, we can move on. 

First of all, this is freaking October already.  I repeat: October.  I don't know why that surprises me.  I mean, this is my favorite season and my favorite month for various reasons (sweaters, cooler weather, leaf/brush changes, drizzle, Halloween, pumpkins, etc.).  I love it.  At the same time, though, it means mid-terms are approaching, the deadline for my huge paper for History is drawing nearer, and snow.

Snow.  The stuff that kids pray for so they can have a snow day, the stuff drivers hate, the stuff that makes Christmas fun.  Oh yeah.  The stuff that for some reason attacks Colorado in mid to early October and that melts in my socks, making me slightly cranky.  It's been really dry this go, so maybe that means the snow is going to hold off. 

Or maybe not.  I don't know.  It's supposed to rain this week, which I'm pretty happy about, but that also means the temps (which have been unseasonably high, I've been told) are going to drop.  Maybe we'll get snow next week.  Maybe it will wait til the week after that.  You never know out here...

Second of all, school.  I am going to change my major yet again.  That's right.  So, it's still going to be an Associates of Arts, but with an emphasis in Creative Writing.  I'm so excited, because it means I can take all the lit and writing classes that I want.  And it's going to help me get a foot in the literary world.  I think I would love nothing more than to be able to be a writer for a living.  I honestly can't see myself in a normal job, whatever that is, and writing is something that comes somewhat naturally to me.  Not to mention that I love to read and write.  We shall see how it goes.

 Semester is like half way done now, too, which is nuts.  I didn't expect it to fly so fast.  I'm really enjoying this semester, which is good.  Last semester kind of sucked from a work load perspective, so this one is making up for it.  I have friends, which is nice, and I'm actually talking to people.  I think it can only go up from here.

Third of all, I still think quiting my job was one of the best things I could've done.  I don't feel the overwhelming stress that I did.  I feel healthier (even though today I feel like I have a cold coming on...), happier, and I'm getting more stuff done.  Even my family can tell the difference.  Kinda miss the income, but hey, I have loan money, so it's ok.

Fourth, and possibly last, of all, I'm in the midst of knitting projects.  That's right, dear cyber readers, I have decided to make everyone Christmas gifts this year.  I can't really talk about it (I don't know who does and doesn't read this), but it's going to be epic. Even if it feels like I'm knitting like crazy.  And all the time. Huh.  Not really a bad thing, though.  It's rather relaxing and fun.  The cool thing about it?  In the midst of presents and projects, I'm making myself a Slytherin scarf from Harry Potter.

Because I am a very big Severus Snape supporter.  But that is a blog for another time.

Unfortunately, this is where today's blog is going to end.  It's Sunday (as the title pointedly says) and I need to do some more homework for this week.

Until we meet again,

~Meaghan

The Grass is Very Cool This Evening

...or "Why I need to tell you about not being able to feel my toes".

And for the record, my Cyberland Readers, when I refer to grass, I mean the green stuff that covers lawns across the nation and that HOAs make you cut and water religiously. Not the illegal stuff they talk about on C.O.P.S.

Basically, I have just put in a long day at school. I mean, I'm exhausted, both mentally and physically. And it's fells freakishly warm in my family's little apartment. I mean, maybe I'm weird cause I like being chilled or something, but it is super warm in here today. So, being the resourceful writer I am, I decided it would be prudent to go outside with one of my many notebooks and do some writing.

I find that nature is inspiring for me, much like music is, and so I enjoy being able to write outside. I love fall the best. Maybe it's because I always feel seasonally bummed out around this time and that makes my writing better, maybe it's the weather and the sky and the cooler temperatures, but whatever it is, fall is the best time to go outside and sit in the grass and write.

Which is what I meant to do. I really did. I grabbed my notebook, my favorite pentel, my iPod with my various story playlists on it, and my flip-flops and went outside. I wanted to get on paper this idea I came up with in class (creative writing, ironically enough) while the teacher was talking and I was spacing out. It promises to be good, if I ever get it down on paper.

Cause here's what happened when I went outside to write tonight:

1. I kicked off my flip-flops so my toes could play with the grass.
2. Upon realizing how nice and cool the grass was and how blue the sky was, I decided laying down was the best option to maximize my writing process.
3. Upon laying down, I got distracted by the light on the tree about three feet away from me and the beat of the song I was listening to.
4. Writing became completely forgotten as I found my "happy place".

Eventually, I got up because I got buzzed by some sort of flying thing and because my feet were freezing. As I got up, my mind slowly made the connection that the grass wasn't just cold. Rather, it was wet as well. Which was exciting. Even now, as I type this disjointed blog for the night, I still feel mild dampness on my back. I'm vaguely wondering if I got grass stains on me, and at the same time, I'm pretty sure I don't particularly care.

It was so totally worth it.

On a completely unrelated note, I work my last 4:30 am shift tomorrow. Thank God. I am so over this job, I can't even begin to describe it. I literally can't breathe while I'm there. Part of that could be my asthma, but I think the bulk of it is that I feel trapped there. The whole place feels like it's compressing on me. Wed is my last day. Trust me, I'm doing victory laps inside. You just can't see it.

I think I would update more, but I'm having trouble getting my brain to connect. I'm going to take that as my cue to stop rambling and get off.

Until we meet again, dear Readers.

~Meaghan