And so this is it. There is approximately 1 hour and 45 minutes left of 2009. Therefore, I feel it is only fair to do a final blog entry for the year 2009.
I am so glad this year is almost over. Seriously. It was a very fast moving year, and I barely remember it because I was sick half the time and crazy ass busy the rest of it. It's like it's a year that's fuzzy around the edges, and I'm pretty sure that it's okay that it all blurred.
So what am I going to do with 2010? Well, I would make a ton of resolutions (lose weight, stop damaging my hair, cut out chocolate and sweets, etc.), but the truth is that I never keep them. I, like most of the American population as a whole, do amazingly well at keeping my resolutions for about the first week of January. After that, it kind of all goes to hell, and I end up saying that I'll do my stupid resolutions the next year. As you can see, that kind of thing just ends up being a depressing cycle that bums me out, like a really annoying record on repeat.
But I would like 2010 to be my year. I'm not going to make any resolutions. Instead, I'm going to just strive towards making 2010 a year that doesn't blur around the edges. I want to take charge of my life before it's too late. I don't want to be one of those people who look back bitter because they feel they wasted the years of their youth. I want to take my life by the horns and however else the saying goes.
I want to get something pierced, like my cartilidge or my nose. We will see how that goes.
Anyway, I hope that all of you, dear Cyberland readers, have a wonderful new year. Go out and do something ridiculous, and make your year something great. And have fun tonight, for what little is left of it.
And now I leave you to resume my MST3K marathon on youtube. See you next year.
~Birdgirl90
aka Meaghan
And that is my last blog
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Sunday, December 20, 2009
Why Hate the Fruit Cake?
Seriously. Everyone seems to be so against the holiday tradition known as fruit cake, and it has honestly never made much sense to me. Yes, it is a rather heavy cake. And yes, it is full of candied fruits and nuts including but certainly not limited to the unidentified green...things. And yes, it does sometimes provide an interesting aftertaste that may or may not be to your liking.
But those things aside, it's really not as bad as it's made out to be. In fact, I find fruit cake to be rather good and don't like the idea of not having it for Christmas. Here are some reasons why I like fruit cake:
1. Flavor Meets Texture
I like the way fruit cake tastes. But even more than that, I like the texture of it. Yes, it is very heavy - hence why you are supposed to only eat small pieces at a time. Heaviness aside, however, the cake has a really interesting texture. You can feel the nuts and candied fruit, but if you really dig far enough, you can tell that the cake batter itself has the texture much like a very firm bread pudding. That's not a very good way to describe it, but it's the only one I can think of right now. Anyway, it's good.
2. Tradition
My dad and I have this tradition where we always get a fruit cake. My mom and little sister don't like fruit cake, so it's just me and dad eating it. It's kinda like when I was younger and dad and I would watch TV and binge on my Halloween candy after the others had gone to bed. It was our way of connecting. Same with the fruit cake: we both eat slices together and discuss the cake and whatever else may be going on at the time. It's nice and routine and ours.
3. The Green Things
I am probably the only person I know who gets a kick out of eating the green cherries on the fruit cake. At least, I think they're cherries. I don't know why I get so amused eating them, but it's a big deal to me for some strange reason. I guess it's how my brain is programed...
So there you have it, my reasons for liking fruit cake. I know that a lot of people still hate it even after reading this, but if you have read this, please, try to give fruit cake a chance. It has a lot of good points and it's a holiday thing.
But if you still don't like it, I understand.
Until the next time, Cyberland.
~Birdgirl90
But those things aside, it's really not as bad as it's made out to be. In fact, I find fruit cake to be rather good and don't like the idea of not having it for Christmas. Here are some reasons why I like fruit cake:
1. Flavor Meets Texture
I like the way fruit cake tastes. But even more than that, I like the texture of it. Yes, it is very heavy - hence why you are supposed to only eat small pieces at a time. Heaviness aside, however, the cake has a really interesting texture. You can feel the nuts and candied fruit, but if you really dig far enough, you can tell that the cake batter itself has the texture much like a very firm bread pudding. That's not a very good way to describe it, but it's the only one I can think of right now. Anyway, it's good.
2. Tradition
My dad and I have this tradition where we always get a fruit cake. My mom and little sister don't like fruit cake, so it's just me and dad eating it. It's kinda like when I was younger and dad and I would watch TV and binge on my Halloween candy after the others had gone to bed. It was our way of connecting. Same with the fruit cake: we both eat slices together and discuss the cake and whatever else may be going on at the time. It's nice and routine and ours.
3. The Green Things
I am probably the only person I know who gets a kick out of eating the green cherries on the fruit cake. At least, I think they're cherries. I don't know why I get so amused eating them, but it's a big deal to me for some strange reason. I guess it's how my brain is programed...
So there you have it, my reasons for liking fruit cake. I know that a lot of people still hate it even after reading this, but if you have read this, please, try to give fruit cake a chance. It has a lot of good points and it's a holiday thing.
But if you still don't like it, I understand.
Until the next time, Cyberland.
~Birdgirl90
Saturday, December 19, 2009
Why am I doing this blog thing again...?
I think it started out as a way to get my writing published in some form or another. Then it morphed into a way of reminding myself that I actually do have a life outside of work and family. And then it became a way of proving to myself that I really am a procrastinator at heart. I mean, the last time I updated this thing was back in October and here we are, the end of December. *sigh*
Anywhosit -
Today I am blogging because I have the jitters. No, it's not from an overabundance of caffiene. And no, it's also not because I've been watching a marathon of Star Trek and MST3K since November. (Although, that may be contributing, I don't know..) It's because of a social situation that I am about to be subjected to that I am jittery.
It's the company Christmas party.
I know, I know, it's really not a big deal. It's fun, actually. And I work well with everyone (at least, I think I do for the most part) and I like everyone I work with and I really do enjoy them all. But social situations like this make me so nervous for no apparent reason. I know it's a safe environment, and no one is out to get me, but I'm so afraid of doing something wrong.
Maybe it's just because I'm 19 and I still sometimes feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin, like a woolen sweater that's just a bit too hot and itchy. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to being the quiet shy girl that I haven't gotten my subconcious to understand that I am beyond that. I really don't know.
Maybe I'm afraid I'm the only one not bringing a guest. : (
Anyway, I'll survive. And I'll do it with dignity and my head up high. Or, at least however much dignity I can find. Aw, who am I kidding? Dignity is soo over rated!
On a lighter note, I have been watching an insane amount of MST3K. Let me emphasize INSANE here for a moment. It's gotten to the point where I am wondering what my life was like before Joel and the Bots and how I ever managed through finals without them. Cause really, that's what it started as. My improv group that I play with was horrified that I had no idea of what MST3K was ( as it turns out, I did have memories of a talking gumball machine watching movies - apparently dad watched it when I was little) and so I was encouraged to youtube it.
It is freaking amazing.
No. Seriously. If you have not seen it, go watch it now. Really. I'll wait. If anything, watch for the host segements. And make sure you watch the ones with Joel in them - he's freaking adorable; it's like the Bots are his kids or something.
So the week of finals I was stressed out anyway, so instead of studying, I started watching MST3K. Yes, I said it, and I would say it again. I HAVE NO REGRETS! Haha, okay that was a little melodramatic, but whatever. Anyway, it has sucked me in. Which is good, cause these sort of things always seem to happen when my life is at a time of utter monotony or stress; they give me something else to focus on for a while besides my own mundane routines.
So naturally, my brain is a little loopy now. Not that I really care, but I'm just saying... Come to think of it, I don't actually remember a time when my brain wasn't loopy. Such is the life I suppose.
Anyway, I have a cake I have to go frost for this thing tonight. I do believe this is the longest blog I've done in a very, VERY long time. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it (or at least found it fascinating), and if you haven't, well, too bad.
I'm gonna try to break the spell of procrastination. I mean it this time - college is making me focus more. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe?
Later Cyberland!
Anywhosit -
Today I am blogging because I have the jitters. No, it's not from an overabundance of caffiene. And no, it's also not because I've been watching a marathon of Star Trek and MST3K since November. (Although, that may be contributing, I don't know..) It's because of a social situation that I am about to be subjected to that I am jittery.
It's the company Christmas party.
I know, I know, it's really not a big deal. It's fun, actually. And I work well with everyone (at least, I think I do for the most part) and I like everyone I work with and I really do enjoy them all. But social situations like this make me so nervous for no apparent reason. I know it's a safe environment, and no one is out to get me, but I'm so afraid of doing something wrong.
Maybe it's just because I'm 19 and I still sometimes feel a little uncomfortable in my own skin, like a woolen sweater that's just a bit too hot and itchy. Or maybe it's because I'm so used to being the quiet shy girl that I haven't gotten my subconcious to understand that I am beyond that. I really don't know.
Maybe I'm afraid I'm the only one not bringing a guest. : (
Anyway, I'll survive. And I'll do it with dignity and my head up high. Or, at least however much dignity I can find. Aw, who am I kidding? Dignity is soo over rated!
On a lighter note, I have been watching an insane amount of MST3K. Let me emphasize INSANE here for a moment. It's gotten to the point where I am wondering what my life was like before Joel and the Bots and how I ever managed through finals without them. Cause really, that's what it started as. My improv group that I play with was horrified that I had no idea of what MST3K was ( as it turns out, I did have memories of a talking gumball machine watching movies - apparently dad watched it when I was little) and so I was encouraged to youtube it.
It is freaking amazing.
No. Seriously. If you have not seen it, go watch it now. Really. I'll wait. If anything, watch for the host segements. And make sure you watch the ones with Joel in them - he's freaking adorable; it's like the Bots are his kids or something.
So the week of finals I was stressed out anyway, so instead of studying, I started watching MST3K. Yes, I said it, and I would say it again. I HAVE NO REGRETS! Haha, okay that was a little melodramatic, but whatever. Anyway, it has sucked me in. Which is good, cause these sort of things always seem to happen when my life is at a time of utter monotony or stress; they give me something else to focus on for a while besides my own mundane routines.
So naturally, my brain is a little loopy now. Not that I really care, but I'm just saying... Come to think of it, I don't actually remember a time when my brain wasn't loopy. Such is the life I suppose.
Anyway, I have a cake I have to go frost for this thing tonight. I do believe this is the longest blog I've done in a very, VERY long time. If you made it this far, I hope you enjoyed it (or at least found it fascinating), and if you haven't, well, too bad.
I'm gonna try to break the spell of procrastination. I mean it this time - college is making me focus more. Sorta. Kinda. Maybe?
Later Cyberland!
Saturday, October 10, 2009
Random thoughts on random things
Hello, dear blog readers. It's snowing, which is really no surprise since this is Colorado. Even after four years of living here, it still amazes and delights me to see snow so early on. Granted, I do get sick of snow after about a month of it around, but for now it makes me feel alive and like a little kid.
It's funny to me how many things are different in Colorado than in Missouri. For one, it rains a lot less here than it does in the Midwest. This can be both good and bad. The good thing about it is that there's a lot less humidity during the spring and summer than there is in St. Louis, as well as less tornadoes (I am led to believe that this summer was an exception...). The bad thing is that the rain in Missouri was soothing and familiar - with less of it here, I have this tendency to get restless. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not helpful at times either.
Another thing that I find to be different is the cost of living. I've lived out here for four years now and I still can't get over the fact that everything costs. In St. Louis, the zoo was free, the science museum was free, and the parks and wildlife centers were mostly free. It was easier to do things because they were cheaper or free. It seems to me that Colorado expects people to ooze money, when the majority of us can't.
Restaurants are different too. Back in the Midwest we had Steak-and-Shake, White Castle, and the Sonics had these things called Cheddar Bites that are basically fried cheese curds. Here, we have places like Gunther Toody's and Tokyo Joes (which has really good spicy tuna rolls - if you have not tried them, you really should...). The Sonics out here lack the fried cheese. And there are no White Castles. You can only get them from the frozen food isle at the grocery stores and they are disgusting.
That's another difference here - the grocery chains. In St. Louis there are Deirburgs and Schnucks to supplement Wal-Mart. Here there are King Soopers and Safeway. They are the same basic stores with different names.
Anyway. Dispite all of the changes between here and there, I have come to the realization that I have no desire to move back to Missouri. I like Colorado dispite the crazy weather patterns and the fact there are bears and mountain lions (I will not tent camp here because of that - at least in Missouri all I had to deal with were raccoons.. ( : ). I now see it as my home and as my future home. I can't imagine leaving the mountains for anything.
Well, except maybe the ocean, but that's beside the point.
Until the next time, dear cyber readers...
It's funny to me how many things are different in Colorado than in Missouri. For one, it rains a lot less here than it does in the Midwest. This can be both good and bad. The good thing about it is that there's a lot less humidity during the spring and summer than there is in St. Louis, as well as less tornadoes (I am led to believe that this summer was an exception...). The bad thing is that the rain in Missouri was soothing and familiar - with less of it here, I have this tendency to get restless. Not necessarily a bad thing, but not helpful at times either.
Another thing that I find to be different is the cost of living. I've lived out here for four years now and I still can't get over the fact that everything costs. In St. Louis, the zoo was free, the science museum was free, and the parks and wildlife centers were mostly free. It was easier to do things because they were cheaper or free. It seems to me that Colorado expects people to ooze money, when the majority of us can't.
Restaurants are different too. Back in the Midwest we had Steak-and-Shake, White Castle, and the Sonics had these things called Cheddar Bites that are basically fried cheese curds. Here, we have places like Gunther Toody's and Tokyo Joes (which has really good spicy tuna rolls - if you have not tried them, you really should...). The Sonics out here lack the fried cheese. And there are no White Castles. You can only get them from the frozen food isle at the grocery stores and they are disgusting.
That's another difference here - the grocery chains. In St. Louis there are Deirburgs and Schnucks to supplement Wal-Mart. Here there are King Soopers and Safeway. They are the same basic stores with different names.
Anyway. Dispite all of the changes between here and there, I have come to the realization that I have no desire to move back to Missouri. I like Colorado dispite the crazy weather patterns and the fact there are bears and mountain lions (I will not tent camp here because of that - at least in Missouri all I had to deal with were raccoons.. ( : ). I now see it as my home and as my future home. I can't imagine leaving the mountains for anything.
Well, except maybe the ocean, but that's beside the point.
Until the next time, dear cyber readers...
Sunday, September 13, 2009
When the blue sky rains...
I don't know what to put here, to be honest. It has been so long since I have last updated this blog that I feel like I am out of practice. Granted, I know there is no such thing as a "right way" to blog, but I still have a part of me that needs it to be perfect. It's the part of me that feels I have to be perfect at work, school, and home. And it just doesn't work out that way.
I hate it when I get like this, where I can't articulate how I'm feeling. Who knew a heart could be so full and yet to the point of cracking and breaking? I am content with my life, and yet I feel as if I could cry. I don't understand; I've given up trying to.
But that's okay. I'm a poet and a dreamer, and these muddy feelings are my inspiration for my writing. Even now I am baring my soul to whoever is reading this; even now, you are becoming a part of the story, whether conciously or not. Even now, destinies are being made and dreams are being lost and skies are clearing out and yet the rain is still pouring from them, like a million tears from heaven.
If they are happy or not is entirely up to your own personal interpretation. I'm going to choose sorrow, because it makes a more interesting story. Interesting or not, though, we are all involved in deciding where we go and what we do and how our story is going to play out. Life is like a book of blank pages, after all - we merely choose what words to put on them.
Sometimes I wonder if education really is the correct path for me. I work at a tutoring place and see first hand how obnoxious the teens can be at times. And I know that teaching high school Biology is one of those things where it's going to be difficult. I have these doubts, like are the other teachers going to like me, will I be good with the teens, will I be a good teacher?
But the truth is that I have to tune out the doubts. I know that if I don't, I won't ever go anywhere but down. So I do my best to not self-doubt and keep trying my hardest, which at times doesn't feel good enough, but I do it anyway. And when things go rough, I pray long and hard.
So maybe things will be okay. Maybe the hopeless desperation will vanish. And until it does, I will keep my head up.
So there.
I hate it when I get like this, where I can't articulate how I'm feeling. Who knew a heart could be so full and yet to the point of cracking and breaking? I am content with my life, and yet I feel as if I could cry. I don't understand; I've given up trying to.
But that's okay. I'm a poet and a dreamer, and these muddy feelings are my inspiration for my writing. Even now I am baring my soul to whoever is reading this; even now, you are becoming a part of the story, whether conciously or not. Even now, destinies are being made and dreams are being lost and skies are clearing out and yet the rain is still pouring from them, like a million tears from heaven.
If they are happy or not is entirely up to your own personal interpretation. I'm going to choose sorrow, because it makes a more interesting story. Interesting or not, though, we are all involved in deciding where we go and what we do and how our story is going to play out. Life is like a book of blank pages, after all - we merely choose what words to put on them.
Sometimes I wonder if education really is the correct path for me. I work at a tutoring place and see first hand how obnoxious the teens can be at times. And I know that teaching high school Biology is one of those things where it's going to be difficult. I have these doubts, like are the other teachers going to like me, will I be good with the teens, will I be a good teacher?
But the truth is that I have to tune out the doubts. I know that if I don't, I won't ever go anywhere but down. So I do my best to not self-doubt and keep trying my hardest, which at times doesn't feel good enough, but I do it anyway. And when things go rough, I pray long and hard.
So maybe things will be okay. Maybe the hopeless desperation will vanish. And until it does, I will keep my head up.
So there.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Time for an Update...
I know I keep saying that I am going to update this blog more often, my lovely Cyberspace readers, but the results are saying that I am completely either a habitual liar in that respect or I just really like to procrastinate. I think I'm going to side with the procrastinate option. I mean, that's why I haven't written any fanfiction in about two or three weeks now...
Anyway, there has been pretty much nothing exciting or out of the ordinary going on. So I don't ever feel like I have things to contribute without boring you all to death. Like today I got into a discussion with this guy at Target about Watchmen. And then he followed me to the bike section. And then I bought a Spock action figure from the new Star Trek movie. That's about how exciting my life generally is.
I actually almost perfer it that way. Sometimes I want to be like Pippin from the Lord of the Rings and go on a great adventure, but for the most part I am content at home.
And that is the update for today. If anything totally exciting happens, you guys will definately hear about it. And that is a promise for sure.
- Birdgirl90
Anyway, there has been pretty much nothing exciting or out of the ordinary going on. So I don't ever feel like I have things to contribute without boring you all to death. Like today I got into a discussion with this guy at Target about Watchmen. And then he followed me to the bike section. And then I bought a Spock action figure from the new Star Trek movie. That's about how exciting my life generally is.
I actually almost perfer it that way. Sometimes I want to be like Pippin from the Lord of the Rings and go on a great adventure, but for the most part I am content at home.
And that is the update for today. If anything totally exciting happens, you guys will definately hear about it. And that is a promise for sure.
- Birdgirl90
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
The Birthday Conundrum
I know I haven't posted anything here in a very long time, but today I realized something - in exactly two weeks, I'm going to be 19 years old. I do not know how I feel about this. I think that 19 feels a little anti-climatic in a way. You know, at 13 you're a teenager, 16 is "sweet", at 18 you can vote, and at 21 you can drink. But at 19, you're just kind of...there.
I think part of my problem is that the week of my birthday is going to be totally nuts. My birthday is on a Wedensday (did I even spell that right?), I have a major paper due in class on Thursday, and then on Friday I'm having all of my wisdome teeth removed. All of my friends that I would normally celebrate with are out of town and living in different states. And most likely my dad is going to have to work that night. Totally anti-climatic, right?
I almost feel like I'm getting old. I know that I'm not, but I've always been a lot older than most of my peers emotionally. When I hear what they are all doing, it makes me feel like the old lady in the group.
But, I'm actually pretty happy where I am right now, so I guess that it doesn't really matter. I have a pretty good relationship with my family, I'm starting to really take care of myself, and I'm putting myself through school. Granted, I have no idea what I want to do anymore with it, but it's a start. All in all, it's a pretty good place to be.
Four years ago, I was fifteen. I used to write Yu-Gi-Oh! and Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, I used to never leave the house without black nailpolish and dark clothing, I wanted a boyfriend more than I could express, I hated school, and I used to swear like a sailor. Now, I write Star Trek fanfiction, I change my nailpolish every week or so and have some color in my wardrobe, I could care less about boys, I'm rather enjoying school, and I am much more lady like in my language. It's amazing what can change over time.
Four years from now, I hope to have a degree and a career. I hope to still be writing fanfiction for whatever craze I am in now, and I hope to possibly get married. Well, maybe not in four years, but eventually.
So here's to getting older. Let's hope that it is always an adventure, and that one day it won't be met with dread.
Cheers.
I think part of my problem is that the week of my birthday is going to be totally nuts. My birthday is on a Wedensday (did I even spell that right?), I have a major paper due in class on Thursday, and then on Friday I'm having all of my wisdome teeth removed. All of my friends that I would normally celebrate with are out of town and living in different states. And most likely my dad is going to have to work that night. Totally anti-climatic, right?
I almost feel like I'm getting old. I know that I'm not, but I've always been a lot older than most of my peers emotionally. When I hear what they are all doing, it makes me feel like the old lady in the group.
But, I'm actually pretty happy where I am right now, so I guess that it doesn't really matter. I have a pretty good relationship with my family, I'm starting to really take care of myself, and I'm putting myself through school. Granted, I have no idea what I want to do anymore with it, but it's a start. All in all, it's a pretty good place to be.
Four years ago, I was fifteen. I used to write Yu-Gi-Oh! and Fullmetal Alchemist fanfiction, I used to never leave the house without black nailpolish and dark clothing, I wanted a boyfriend more than I could express, I hated school, and I used to swear like a sailor. Now, I write Star Trek fanfiction, I change my nailpolish every week or so and have some color in my wardrobe, I could care less about boys, I'm rather enjoying school, and I am much more lady like in my language. It's amazing what can change over time.
Four years from now, I hope to have a degree and a career. I hope to still be writing fanfiction for whatever craze I am in now, and I hope to possibly get married. Well, maybe not in four years, but eventually.
So here's to getting older. Let's hope that it is always an adventure, and that one day it won't be met with dread.
Cheers.
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