Monday, September 29, 2008

And I stood there...

Hi again, my cyberland buddies! Today's blog is another very different type of blog. Today, I am actually sharing my creative writing. That's right - the stuff I never let people read, I'm letting you all read. Mainly cause I want to finally get some publicity. My only request is this: do not judge. My writing is always a little on the morbid side, a little dark, a little down or depressed. That's the only way I can get those awful feelings out of myself - I kill characters in the most awful situations and write poetry about death. I give my characters serious issues; anorexia, suicide, depression, loneliness, drug addictions, various vices and habits. That's just how I am.

If you don't like it, don't read it. You have been warned.

And Dereck dreamed.

Colors vivid and yet blurred, flowing and bleeding into each other like icy waves crashing and melting against the hot, grainy beach - violent red, like garnet blood dripping from an open wound; forlorn black, like the moonless, starless night. A chill filled Dereck's mind as the colors swirled around him, goosebumps raising upon his arms. Amid the colors a whisper, quiet as the end of the world yet as loud as a scream, filled the cold air. It said nothing but the messge was perfectly clear.

Dereck awoke on the floor with a jolt, sweat dripping of him as if he had run in the pouring rain, his skin as white as bone in the pale, silvery moonlight that poured into the room, bathing him in it's lonely light. Struggling to breathe, Dereck blinked and looked around the bare room. The smell of cigarettes still lingered in the stuffy air, the remains of the drugs still scattered on the table. On the floor next to him was Brie, breathing softly, her face peaceful in sleep as her black hair fanned around her frail, petite frame. The sight of her made it all the more unbearable.

Slowly, Dereck touched Brie's face, her skin like porcelain beneath his fevered hand. She sighed in her sleep, as if answering some unheard question, and rolled onto her side, trying to get closer even in sleep, like she knew in some deep part of herself the very thing Dereck knew.

And it was too much. Overcome with the bittersweetness of the whole situation, consumed with love for Brie and sorrow for the future, knowing the future would most likely never come, Dereck leaned into Brie's hair, trying to remember her sweet scent forever, hot tears like crystals washing his face and her hair, the dream still haunting him.

Death was coming for him. And there was nothing he could do.

Well, there it is. These are two of my absolute favorite characters that have come out on paper. One, Dereck, is a druggie. The other, Brie, is anorexic. I have no experience with either condition, but that's just how they developed. When characters come out, they seriously have there own personalities and you can't change them. You can watch them develope, you can guide them along the way, but you can't tell them to change. These two characters honestly feel like my children - when I write about them, I seriously feel like a mother.

The funny thing about Dereck and Brie is that they met by chance. Brie worked at a bookstore and one day, I guess the planets aligned correctly or something, because "poof!" - they literally ran into each other. Seriously. Books went flying. It was great.

Another funny thing is the Brie spells her name. She doesn't like eating, yet she's named after a type of cheese that goes great on crackers and fruit. Go figure.

How will the tragic story of Brie and Dereck end? I have an idea, but it's bound to change somewhere down the road. Until then, I just have to keep writing.

Oh. And if you steal my wonderful characters, bad things will happen. I will personally come after you. So leave them alone.


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