Friday, December 30, 2011

The End of Internet and the Year in Review

Hello dear readers.

As I write this, I am using the libraries wi-fi.  We have gotten rid of our internet at home. There is something about paying through the nose for a service that's more a convience than anything else.

Granted, homework is turned in electronically and banking is done online, but the truth is - we need to save some moolah.

That being said, I wanted to give everyone a heads up.  I'll update here when I can, where I can.  But there will be times when posts will be few and far between.

Thank you for understanding.

Now, on the Year in Review!

(I can't believe the new year starts this weekend.  Holy cow.)

January - I started a new semester at school and gave my first speech in public speaking.  I had to give that speech in subzero temps with a cold, but I did it anyway.  I was dog sitting and watching my neighbor's son when the dog, Flash, had a seizure.  It was scary, but mom helped me through.

February - Valentine's day came and went, and I was still single, but not horribly upset about it.  School was moving alright, if not in a blur.  I had also started my heart burn medication which made me sick at school.  Not fun.

March - Ah, St. Patty's day, with fun at school.  I had knitted a green scarf over spring break that I wore for the event. Spring break itself was a disaster - I ended up in the ER with chest pains that we thought were from  a Pulminary Embelism, but actually turned out to be plurisy.  (Pretty sure non of that is spelled right.)  My liver was dying from my birth control, so my new doctor took me off it.  The scarf was cool though - three kinds of cables.  I still have it.  We also decided our groups for Public Speaking, and I was with Dorothy and Trevor who would soon become two of my best friends.

April - I was a mess.  I was stressed and sick and started having mild panic attacks.  My doctor started me on an anti-depressant that made me sick and caused me to lose weight cause I couldn't eat.  I really noticed Trevor for the first time; he was the first one to ask me if I was ok.  When we started meeting for our group speech, he took me home and picked me up, opening the door for me.  Before I knew it, we were up until midnight texting.  Within the first three weeks of April, I knew I liked him. 
      My grades also started to rise again, as they had dropped previously.  I also got a poem published in the school magazine.  A very busy, busy month.

May - School finished and I had a 4.0.  Trevor and I started dating and he became a figure in our family.  Trevor, myself, Katie, Dorothy, and her family all went to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show.  Katie turned 18 and I took her for cupcakes.  I was still dog sitting, so I didn't get a real job.

June - We celebrated Katie's graduation from high school with a great party.  Trevor and I were still strong and spent the summer nights watching the stars and moon and eating ice cream.  There were a few thunderstorms of notable value as well.  I wasn't stressed and was happy.

July - Two days before my birthday, my neighbor had Flash put down.  She was sick and getting old, and she was having more seizures due to a bran anurism.  The day before my birthday we had a hail storm with so much hail it looked like snow!  It was scary and awesome at the same time.  I turned 21 and celebrated by going with Trevor to the midnight release of Harry Potter part 2 and then by having dinner with my family and Trevor at Olive Garden.

August - School started and I knew it was going to be a looong semester.  I got invited to be a part of Phi Theta Kappa, but wasn't sure I was going to accept the offer.  Trevor and I went stargazing for the last time near the end of the month. I got a job passing out samples in the grocery store, which I still have and love.  It allows me to study and still make money.

September - School still trudged along in a blur.  Fiction writing was harder than I ever thought it would be and the critiques in poetry class were exhaustive.  But astronomy continued to peak my interest, which was good, and I was starting to get the hang of humanities.  Trevor and I had dinner together every Thursday night through the rest of the semester and made a point of seeing each other before classes.  I don't think either of us would have completely survived if we didn't. 
      My family went on the coolest vacation, too, in September to South Dakota.  We stayed  at the most beautiful cabin resort on a lake and had a blast driving and sight seeing - Mount Rushmore will always stay with me as one of the most incredible sights I have ever seen, as will Devil's Tower.  I won't forget the antelope either!

October - I was in full research mode, ready to take on anything and trying to figure out where I stood on things.  Religion became a huge question for me, as it still is, and I began to explore other faiths.  I dressed as a kitty for Halloween and spent it with Trevor (Indiana Jones) and his family.  His brother was black spiderman.  I was wishing for fall break, too.  I was also designing my first hat pattern and bringing it to life.

Novemeber - A much needed fall break appeared.  I finished my hat, designed another, and got my research papers all done.  My presentations were ready to go.  Thanksgiving was a great time with family - we were all able to breathe and eat and watch the dog show on TV.  I counted my blessings, not realizing how much I was going to need those in the following month.  Katie got a concussion right around here, too.  Talk about scary stuff.

December - School finished; I passed with three A's and a B.  The car ended up in the shop due to an ice accident, so we were in a rental car.  Everyone got sick - mom and Katie with colds, me with strep.  We weren't the only family having trouble, either.  When Christmas came, none of us even cared about the gifts even though they were nice; we were more excited about everyone being healthy and together.  Trevor spent time with us, my dad had some great vacation time, and we were all happy and stressed and relaxed at the same time.

And now the new year is coming.  I am dreading January.  I don't have classes with anyone I know.  Trevor will be in Boulder.  I have a feeling I will be mainly alone on campus for the first time since I started school three years ago.  Change is coming in so many ways, and I am scared.

But it's going to be good.  There is a higher power guiding me.  I don't know who that power is, just that it is loving and kind and gentle.  I know that I will end up on the right track as long as I am myself and true to myself.  So even though I'm scared, I'm going to face life head on.  I haven't self injured in over a year and while I've been crying more freely lately, I can't help but think that's a good thing.  I will not go back to who I was before this journey of transformation started.

My goals for the year are to take the stairs at school again, which is something I've stopped doing, and to order my coffee from Starbucks with non-fat milk, cause that's a healthier choice and just as tasty.  I want to keep crying freely and to continue loving with everything I have - life is too short to hold back any more.

This year, I hope to see my degree hanging above my bed and to have a job that I can enjoy and make enough money to afford to keep knitting and writing.

I want to eventually open my yarn shop, but I don't think that is going to happen this year.  However, I want to start a new savings account for it.

I hope everyone has a safe year.  Enjoy your holiday and try to stay off the roads - people are crazy out there.  I will update as soon as I can. :)

Love you all, dear readers.


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