Friday, January 16, 2009

I'm soo excited!!

I'm going to start this blog entry by saying that my week has been rather good. For multiple reasons, including but not limited to, college, a new story idea, the fact that my current favorite band did not disband or die over the last year, and some new realizations about myself. Let's start with what made me write this blog.

So I was doing the rounds on various websites I go to on a fairly regular basis and I decided to pop over to the Bravery's website. I hadn't been there in a while,(the last time I was there, it hadn't been updated since July), so I wasn't really expecting anything. Low and behold, to my incredible surprise, it was updated!

And not only updated, I might add, but filled with a blog entry about how the guys are working on album number three! I admit that I didn't discover them until iTunes back in November, but they have quickly become one of my favorite groups since the Beatles. Granted, there are some songs I can't stand by them ("Every Word is a Knife in My Ear" and "Rites of Spring" [which I listen to sometimes because I can't decide if I like it or not] to name some of them), but the majority of the music is good. And I should know this, because I am musically inclined. (After playing the violin for almost ten years, I have some knowledge of the way things flow...) That's what I love about the Bravery - every aspect of rock is given a moment to shine. I especially love the drums and bass. Amazing. One of the best modern groups ever.

So the prospect of a new album made my day.

The next thing that I am both very excited about and equally frightened about at the same time involves college. I made my appointment to tour the campus (Fort Hays State University in Hays, Kansas) in March and after seeing the residental halls and various other things of interest on campus, I am going to be meeting with a counselor and someone from admissions to pre-enroll in classes.

I am excited because after staying home an extra year (I graduated high school from homeschool last summer), I am finally at a point in my life where I feel as though I can move out and not have to worry about whether or not I can trust myself to take care of myself. The whole reason I stayed home the extra year and got a job was that I felt like my self-injurious tendencies were still ruling me and I didn't feel like I could live away from home yet. I am pleased to say that I have been very good and haven't done anything since April of 2008. Almost a year - that feels like it deserves a pat on the back. And now I feel like I am in control of who I am and what I want; I am ready to go away from home and spread my wings a bit.

At the same time, I'm a bit nervous and/or scared. College is a really big step and I'm going to a place where I will know absolutely no one. But I think it can be a good thing and I'm not going to let fear stop me...

I find it ironic that I am excited about going to Kansas, seeing as I swore when we moved to Colorado and had to drive across Kansas from Missouri that I was never, ever going to live for any period of time in the great Sunflower state.

You can laugh now. It is rather funny.

I read a really good book the other day. It's called "The Bell Jar" by Sylvia Plath. I have not read anything else by Ms. Plath, but my dad said I would really enjoy her because I sometimes have similar sentiments. So I read "The Bell Jar" and I really liked it. At the same time, however, I was a little disturbed because she voices some of the same things I've been realizing and thinking about over the past three or four years.

Anyway, after reading this book, the story I've been tentatively working on came back into view. Sometimes a good book is all I need to stimulate my mind and get the creative juices flowing. So Brie came to life back in my head as a quiet little voice this week and I'll tell you right now that she has matured. It seems that character development has taken place in my self conciousness and because of that, the story plot has changed. I have to start from scratch, in a way, but it's very satisfying. I can't explain why - it's something you have to do for yourself to understand.

And finally, I realized that high school boys are really way too immature and that I don't want, nor need, a relationship to make me happy. I just need to be in my element and all is good. Granted, I do still want to get married and have kids some day, but I think I'm going to wait until everyone matures a bit before I get involved. And until then, I'm just going to keep on doing what I do. It was a very nice revelation and I could not be happier right now.

Oh! and I almost got hit today. I was driving with my sister and was stuck at a very busy road with no light for me to turn with. For some odd reason (maybe it was coffee I had or the fact that it was a beautiful day, I really don't know) I decided to pull out and gun my engine. Not. Smart. We almost got plowed by a giant SUV. I think I scared Katie, and I know I scared myself. Ultimately, I learned from this - always turn at a light or always make sure the coast is clear. Gunning engine = bad.

And that is your incredibly long blog for the day. I'd like to apologize if you have gotten this far - I'm a little hyper right now.

Until next time, Cyberland.

- Birdgirl90 aka Meaghan

"And I don't know where we belong/
I think we grew under a bad sun."

- The Bravery
"Bad Sun"

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