Saturday, March 20, 2010

2012 - The End of the World of the Living?

Let's face it: everyone has their own theory about what is going to happen in 2012. I'll admit, it can be a scary thing to think about. Some people are saying the whole world is going to explode or something.

I have my own theory.

The Zombie Apocalypse.

That's right, folks, zombies are the only logical answer for what is going to happen in 2012. What, you think I'm crazy? Think about this: every time there is a major outbreak of disease that has people out for the count, the government calls it a crisis. Is it possible that maybe, just maybe, it's the government covering up something much more dangerous and crazy? I wouldn't put it past them, to be honest. It would be very easy for the government to have the CDC release something like swine flu to cover up, say, military experimentation gone wrong.

I swear I'm not paranoid.

What am I getting at? I'll tell you what: there are probably hundereds upon hundereds of T-virus (the stuff that causes you to turn into the undead) outbreaks worldwide. Our governments are just really good at disgusing them.

How does this tie into 2012? My theory is that in 2012, the T-virus experiments and consequent outbreaks are going to somehow leak out from the hands of the scientists who posses the test tubes and leak into the general public, causing all of society to turn into cannibalistic undead creatures in the style of "Dawn of the Dead" and "Resident Evil". That's right.

What do we do? Don't panic is a good first step. Many movies have predicted zombies rising; while they don't all agree on a lot of things (the virus, the outbreak, etc.) they all hit on parts. Start watching the movies. I recommend you start with Resident Evil.

The trick for survival is to not get bit. Always shoot the zombies in the head, and weapon wise, unless you are a very good shot with a gun or at completely close range for something like a machete, you should probably not worry too much. The main thing you want to do is find a safe, secure area that is not easibly broken into and that preferably has a food supply inside. Great examples are places like Sam's Club or Costco, or the occasional Wal-Mart. If you are in a bind, you can take over a shopping mall, but this is a last resort because of the various entrances and the wide square milage to protect inside. Sam's Club/Costco is ideal because of the cement walls, high up windows, and minimal doors.

Cars are great cause they can get you where you need to go while you run over any zombie in your way. Please note, though, that you don't want to go out of your way to run over the zombies because it will damage your car and use fuel that you should be conserving to get to your safety zone.

If anyone you know gets bit, you have to kill them as hard as it may be. This way they can die in dignity and not as a mindless monster; it also protects you from the horrors that will come about otherwise.

This concludes today's blog. I am thinking about starting a zombie 101, but we shall see about that. Until next time, Cyberland readers, start preparing for the Zombie Apocalypse (aka Zombie Holocaust).


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