Some Things Are Harder Than They Should Be.

Like me trying to find a new job. (I think this is a safe place to talk about it, as I am fairly sure that none of my coworkers read this. And it's my blog, so I should be allowed to talk about what's bugging me anyway. Right? Right.)

Today I started to fill out applications for Borders and the bowling alley. I quickly stopped without saving any of the information, as I hit a point where the application asked for references of people who have known me for at least five years. Okay, I just moved out here to Colorado in 2005; most of the people back in Missouri don't keep in touch or didn't know me for at least five years, and most of the people here haven't known me for five years. Hell, it'll be five years in August.

I think they are making this application process a lot more difficult that it needs to be. Or I'm just really paranoid and having trouble because I'm making it a lot harder than it needs to be, which would not surprise me.

I know the economy is bad and that I should be glad I have a job right now, but I have to say that Sylvan is sucking out my soul. Everytime I go to work I feel overwhelming dread and dispair. This isn't to say that I don't like the all the people I work with. In truth, most of the teachers are fun to work with. And I love all the kids who come in for help.

But-

I can not stay there any longer. I've been there almost two years and I make just above minimum wage. For the number of hours I work a week and the kind of work that I do, I could easily work the same amount of hours in retail, do something more stimulating, and make more money while doing it, as well as having the opportunity to go full time when I'm done with school.

It just makes more sense to me. I am becoming resentful about going to work and about having the nit-picking and the cranky parents and whatnot. I would much rather work at a bookstore or clothing store where I still have to deal with cranky people but where it all balances out because the work is more stimulating and I can get a discount of stuff.

I feel slightly like I am breaking up with Sylvan, though. And I can't even tell the people I'm working for that I'm looking, which is hard. Change scares the heck out of me, but change must happen if I am going to be happy in my life. Even if I do feel slightly guilty about it.

Okay, that's my rant for the day. Please excuse me while I scream into a pillow at how much of a pain it is for me to get out the hell-hole I call "my place of employment".

~Meaghan