Tuesday, May 10, 2011

First Kisses and First Dates.

Yesterday was an amazing day.  After thinking about it, I have decided to share with you, dear readers, why it was so amazing.  Don't worry, there won't be a lot of detail.  (My dad does reads this, after all.)

So, let's start from the beginning.

I was in a public speaking class this previous semester as you will probably recall.  It was a lot more fun than I expected; heck, any class that gives me an A for presenting about zombies and the end of the world gets points in my book.  But that's not the whole reason why it was fun or important.

Insert: The Group Speech.

So, I normally have a huge adversion to group projects.  I mean, you either get stuck with a sucky group that makes you do all the work (been there, done that) or you end up with a group where no one can decide what they want to do (also been there, done that).  I wanted to be in a good group, so I asked one woman if she would be in a group with me.  She agreed, then asked a fellow student to join as well to make a group of three.

Insert: Trevor.

Trevor is this wonderful guy who is smart, funny, and likes to read.  He also has a killer smile, although I might be biased at this point. :) Also, I know I don't normally use names here, but this is different.  This is so very, very different.

If I'm being honest with myself, I didn't really notice him as anything other than a classmate until about a week into the group speech prep when I had probably the worst week of my entire semester.

Insert: The Meltdown.

It was a Tuesday when I broke my perfect attendence in public speaking.  I had a mini panic attack; I needed out of the school, pronto.  It was my third day in a row crying and I started before I even left the building.  I ended up crying the whole way home, and I couldn't understand why I was feeling so crappy.  It was awful.

The following Thursday, I saw Trevor sitting at a table on the fourth floor that would later become a hang out point for us.  Feeling idiotic for missing class, I went over and apologized, then asked if I had missed anything vital.  He filled me in.  And then he did something incredible.

He asked me if I was ok.

And when he asked, he was genuinely concerned.  I hadn't really had that happen before.  Sure, your family is genuine when they ask you, but a guy who barely knows you?  That's rare.  It made me feel better about things, even if I couldn't figure out why.

Insert: The Growth of a Friendship

As the semester passed and as we worked on our group speech, I had the opportunity to get to know Trevor better.  We found things we had in common: books we had read as kids, music that we both like, our families.  He was (and is) a gentleman; he opened doors, gave me rides home, texted me goodnight.

It wasn't too long before I started thinking about him as my best friend.

And it wasn't too long after that when I began to think of him as possibly more than that.

Insert: Hesitation

Now, I have had issues with guys in the past.  It's not anything against them.  It's just that I'm a germ phobe, a space freak, and a bit insecure about myself at times.  On top of that, I've been burned what feels like a million times in the past without dating any of them.  None of them fit me.  None of them understood me.  All of them were...wrong.  And it hurt.

Hence, hesitation.

It took me several days to sort out how I felt about Trevor and about the idea of dating him.  Was I ready to commit to something like that should it come up? Could I balance everything? Would I be able to still be myself and not lose my identity? 

More importantly, could he handle me?  Space issues, germ issues, history behaviors including mood swings.  It's a lot for someone to take in.  Was he even interested?  I couldn't bring myself to put it all out there; if he didn't feel the same way, I would have been crushed.

So I played it safe, focused on my grades, and talked to him nearly every day.

Insert: The Start of Summer Break

The last day of school, I attempted to lay it all out.  It didn't go the way I had planned, but he didn't reject me.  Instead, he gave me a somewhat hint saying that his princess wore glasses.  I figured that was a good thing.

We talked the whole weekend and he invited me to hang out with him yesterday.  We made plans to get lunch, go to one of my favorite parks, and watch a movie.  I picked "You've Got Mail" to watch, partially because I love it and partially because I wanted to see what would happen.

I didn't have to wait that long. 

Insert: The Park

There we were, sitting on a bench at the park, overlooking the beautiful scenary around us.  The wind was blowing, the sky was open, and honestly, I felt incredibly content.

He asked me how I felt about him.  I told him, and one thing led to another.  And then...

He kissed me.

Yeah, I would be lying if I said it didn't freak me out a little at first.  But that passed very quickly.  He was very gentle with me, the way that I needed it to be.

And then he asked if he could be my boyfriend.

Obviously I said yes.  I would have been crazy not to.

And that is what happened yesterday.  We had a blast hanging out and spending time talking.  I honestly could not be happier right now. 

Apparently he's liked me a lot longer than I liked him.  What can I say, I'm a fairly confused individual most of the time.  It takes me a while.  The reason he waited was school - both of us needed to finish the semester strong, and this would have gotten in the way initally, I think. 

I'm glad he waited, though.  I have this feeling that I would have taken off running like a scared rabbit if he hadn't.

He was totally worth the wait. :)  Totally and completely.


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