Sunday, January 23, 2011

The Sunday Update Edition

I feel like an editor, putting that title on this post.  Ah well; I may be one soon enough.

So far, the dog is doing better.  I am so relieved you honestly have no idea.  She ate her food last night.  She went to the bathroom this morning.  She's acting more and more like herself.  I am so thankful.  She's going to stay alive.

I feel like I'm slowly but surely conquering the fears in my life.  I rode the elevator at school on Thursday - by myself, I must add - more than once.  I am using the garbage disposal with less paranoia.  (I'm going to end up writing a short story about my fear of the garabage disposal, I just know it...)  Walking by myself is getting less intimidating.  Sitting by myself at school is slowly getting more comfortable.

And I'm not afraid that the dog is going to die before the owner gets home.

I am still freaked out by the dark, spiders, drowning, etc.  It's a process.  We're getting there.

Last night I had this dream where I was out with my mom, my sister, and my friend Cathryn.  We were shopping for wedding dresses.  And not just any wedding dress, guys.  We were shopping for MY wedding dress.  I tried one on and it was perfect; everyone started crying, myself included.

I hardly ever dream about weddings.  It's an even rarer occasion for me to dream about my own.  I think I've had maybe one other dream about my wedding, and that was due to stress years ago.  I mean, I woke up from that dream feeling stressed, too.  Not good.  (I got sick shortly after, if I remember correctly...)

This one was different.  I don't remember what the dress looked like.  I know that it fit perfectly.  I was shopping with the people who matter to me, for something that mattered.  And when I woke up, I felt  hopeful.

Let me repeat that.  I felt hopeful.

It's a rare occasion that a dream makes me feel hopeful.  Normally I'm either freaking out because it was a nightmare or a stress dream, or I'm laughing because it was just plain weird.  Sometimes I'm even contemplative when I wake up.

But I feel full of hope today.  I think, as odd as this may sound, that maybe this was God's way of telling me to not give up on the opposite gender.  Because, if I'm being honest with myself, I was about to.

Now, I feel like I have simple directions to follow.  Do my thing, God will do the rest.  And most of all, keep my head up.

Between this and the fact that I'm getting over my fears a little at a time, I feel like it's going to be ok.  I'm going to be ok.  Life is going to be ok.

And the sun is shining today.  What more could I ask for?

Until the next time, my dear readers,


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