Monday, February 7, 2011


More snow is coming.  I swear, this is killing me.

It's one thing to have a ton of snow and then have it melt.  It's another for the snow to keep piling up.

I've been suffering from the "winter blues" (at least, that's what everyone's been calling it) lately.  I don't want to do anything, be around anyone, or basically live a functional life.  I'm not suicidal or anything; mainly, I just don't care about anything.  School is killing me, routine is killing me. 

Snow is killing me.

I just don't feel right.  I think it's a huge part of the weather.  It's like seasonal depression; I feel it year round but it becomes unbearable in the fall and winter.  I find that chocolate help.  Caffiene too.  (I'm not sure I spelled that right, so don't hold me accountable.)

That backs my theory of seasonal depression.  With depression, you don't get enough of a certain chemical (I can't remember which one).  Chocolate and other foods have this chemical in it and can replace what you aren't getting.  I learned about it in my psychology last week. 

I hadn't put two and two together until this weekend.  I get so washed out, but I generally feel better when I drink mochas or eat a candy bar.  I can be having a crappy day at school (it's been happening a lot this semester, if you'll believe that) and yet when I get a mocha and drink it, I generally am feeling a bit better by the time my last class rolls around.

To the skeptics out there, sure.  It could be anything.  It could be in my head.  But I happen to know my body; what I feel this time of year is not natural.  I've been meaning to actually talk to the doctor about it, but I haven't done it yet.  I think I may wait until I move out just so I don't have to fight with my parents over it.


So now more snow is coming and I'm not ready.  Not unless it can cancel school so that I can sleep until after noon.  But even then I'm not ready for it.  I go nuts having to stay home.  I have to get out and go somewhere every day or I feel the crazies coming on.


Snow is killing me.

Sorry this was kind of a bummed post.  I'll do better next time; sometimes, you just gotta write what you're feeling.

Until the next time,


No comments: