Bleh.

Turns out, my paper does not have a happy window of "three to five" pages.  It's just five straight pages.  Plus my source page.  Not huge on the scale of things - my History paper last semester was ten to twelve pages plus sources, end notes, and a cover page - but I don't like having a window.

Mainly because I'm not entirely convinced I'm going to have five full pages by tomorrow.  The nice thing is that tomorrow is the rough draft, so my instructor won't dock my points as long as I bring something in.  But I need to have the full five pages together by Thursday.

So that means I'm either going to have to analyze one of my sources more, or see if I can use a third source. 

Fun stuff.

My creative writing paper is due Thursday as well.  It's the one about the crickets.  I need to revise it massively, especially towards the end.  I feel like I rushed it.  I want it to have a polished feel instead of a rushed one.

I have a mid term on Thursday, too.  That's exciting.  It's in my Public Speaking class - mulitple choice and true false.  I think I can handle this.  We've been studying for it in class the past two class periods.  I think I'll do fine.

Break is going to be nice.  I don't know what I'm going to do over it, but I'm looking forward to it.

My sister is still sick.  It's kind of a bummer.  She's low on energy and out of the loop.  I've gone around and wiped down the door knobs with Clorox wipes in order to not spread it again.  My computer got a sanitizer run-down as well.

I think that really is about all that is going on right now.  It's sunny and warm outside, and it's going to be nice tomorrow, too.  I like the warmer weather.  It's beautiful.

Until we meet again, readers, enjoy your day.

~Meaghan

The Sunday Edition.

I've always been confused about Sunday.  Technically, it is the start of a new week.  But so many people consider Monday the start of the week (because of work, school, etc.) that as a kid I was always left wondering. 

So is Sunday the start of the week or the end of the week?  Technically it's the start of the week and the end of the weekend.  But I still loathe Monday - the day when I realize that my homework is due in less than a twenty-four hour period, so I better get cracking - so I'm going to consider Monday the start of the week.

What are you going to do about that, calendar people?

My sister has caught another virus.  We're thinking it's a cold, but you can't be sure.  She felt like she was running a fever earlier.  I'm being a bit paranoid: extra hand sanitizer, keeping a safe distance, etc.  A lot of people have laughed at me for that, but I really don't want to repeat last semester.

Last semester, I was sick all but about two weeks around Halloween.  (I was well when I went to see Rocky Horror; I got sick half a week later.)  Being sick is not fun.  I've already had a cold this semester.  I have no intentions of staying in bed again.

So I hope she gets better soon, both for her sake and for my own.

Still have that English paper to get done.  At this point, I'm drawing it out for all it's worth.  I know it will only take me about an hour to finish.  I know that I know what I'm arguing about and how to prove my points.  I know that even though I hate citing my sources, I can do the citions without trouble.

I just do not feel like doing it.

I think it's because spring break is around the corner.  I mean, I have one more week of classes and then I get a week off.  It is going to be really nice.  I'm going to color my hair again, sleep until nine every morning (that's about as late as I get, lol), and homework is going to be done in advance so I can skate through the semester.

I am hoping that this week is good where school is concerned.  I'm going to keep my head up, hope for the best, and expect the unexpected.  Prayer and hope and breathing.

Now, I'm going to go enjoy the rest of my weekend.  I suggest you guys do the same.

Until we meet again,

~Meaghan

I Almost Forgot to Blog.

But I remembered, so here I am. 

I have to say, this self imposed challenge of blogging every day for a whole year is harder than it seems.  I feel like some days I have waay too much to talk about, but it's stuff I can't share with random internet people.  Other days, I feel like I have nothing important to contribute.

I like it, though. 

I like being determined.  And it's been helping my writer's block.  The more I blog, the looser the juices seem to flow. 

It was a beautiful day today.  The sun was shining, the sky was blue, and it feels like spring is around the corner.  Of course, it appears that it's going to snow tomorrow.  Not unsurprising, but disappointing to a degree as well.  I'm ready for flip-flop weather.

Things were lazy today.  I read, I wrote, I hung out with my family.  I've started watching a new movie.  It's "The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen", which peaked my interest when I read about the list of fictional characters in it: Dorian Gray, Captain Nemo, etc.  So far, it's pretty good.

I still need to finish my English paper.  I didn't get it done yesterday.  But I figure I have until Tuesday to finish it, so there's not a huge rush or anything.

And on that note, I'm getting off. 

Until we meet again, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Friday Post.

Everytime I think about Friday, I think about that song from the Cure.  You know, the one that goes "It's Friday, I'm in love!"  Now, I'm pretty sure I'm not in love or anything, but it is most assuredly (spelling???) Friday.

Ah, the weekend.  I have mixed feelings about the weekend.  I like having time to myself, but also, it means I don't have school again until Tuesday.  Being the dork that I am, I miss not being at school.  School brings interesting things with it, both socially and academically.

But this weekend is going to be good.  I have one paper done - for Psychology 101 discussing my purpose in life - and one paper to go, which is my arumentative paper for English Composition 122.  I have to say, it's not that bad of a homework weekend.  Granted I'm not thrilled about then English paper, but I'm a Creative Writing major - I don't like "traditional" English.  It's not going to be that hard, though.

The plan? you ask.  Well, here it is.

I'm going to write that English paper rough draft (due Tuesday) at some point today.  Then I'm going to work on free-writing the rest of the weekend as well as catching up on my free reading.  I'm really excited about the chapter I'm working on in my young adult novel.  It's going to be the piece that I'm going to have workshopped after break in my writing class.  I love my characters so much.

(If you read it, though, you would wonder what kind of crazy life I'm living.  I actually have a really normal family life going on here with a very stable environment.  The characters just came out messed up.  And that's what I love about them.  They are flawed. )

I'm going to be signing up for roller skating lessons pretty soon, too.  My mom finally caved and said she would pay for my lessons.  I didn't expect that at all; I would be happy just to have her drive me over.  And then she went a step further and said that if I truly love roller skating, then she won't say another word about me doing derby.

That's right, guys and gals.  Another year and I'll be on my way to being a Roller Derby Queen.  It is going to be epic on so many levels.  Of course, I need to finish school first and get a job so that I can pay for it, but think about how fun it is going to be.

And even if I don't do derby, skating is such good exercise.  I have this pair of derby skates I bought from Target forever ago.  I would love to get some good use out of them.  Needless to say, I'm pretty excited.

Now I have to go write that paper so my weekend will be cleared. 

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

Let the Weekend Roll.

My week is over.  Thank goodness.

Today was such a long day, I don't even feel like I can get into it properly.  It wasn't bad, it wasn't fantastic; it was just long.

I have just submitted a poem to the school publication.  They have a few extra spots and I've been told that they need fiction and non-fiction more than they need poems, but I'm really happy and proud with how this particular poem turned out, so I sent it anyway.  We shall see what happens.

Currently I have a headache bordering a migraine.  I know, I know.  Get off the computer and do something about it.  Well, the Alieve doesn't want to go down and I'm afraid to sleep because I want to sleep tonight.  I blame this headache on weather change.  We're supposed to be getting snow this weekend.  It's not supposed to last long, though, so I'm ok with it.

There are so many good movies coming out in the next few weeks!  I keep seeing movie trailers that really appeal to me.  Now, I know that you have to be careful with movie trailers - they can be deceiving.  But these look genuinely good.  You know how the movies seem to alternate every year, with one year being really good (2009) and the next being kind of a crap shoot (2010)? 

I think this is going to be a good year for movies.  The top of my list, thus far?

~ Beastly

 Beauty and the Beast is by far one of my favorite movies (Disney may have some crappy stuff out there now, but I will always love them for Beauty and the Beast) as well as fairy tales.  The heroine kicks ass, the issue of true beauty is tackled, and in the end, it all works out.  This movie, based on the trailers, looks like it's going to be a great rendition of it.  It is very high on my list.

~ Sucker Punch

 Because, really, who doesn't love a good action movie with cool effects?  I love the principle behind it: a girl gets sent to an asylum and must fight her way out with a band of other locked - up girls while creating their own fantasy land that makes Dungeons and Dragons look like child's play.  (It's not, btw.  I wanted to play a few years ago and got blown away by the number of books and rules involved...)  Plus, it's directed by Zac Snyder (I hope I spelled that right), the guy who did all sorts of awesome movies.  I love what he did with Watchmen and the Guardians of Ga'Hoole.  I have high hopes for this one.

~ Red Riding Hood

 This one I don't really want to see, but my sister is very into.  She loves the story of Little Red Riding Hood.  To be fair, this one does look like it's going to have an interesting take on the traditional story.  I will probably end up waiting until it comes to DVD or the dollar theater.

On top of those, which all come out this week and next week, we have the final Harry Potter movie coming out in July.  The first part (it came out in November) was actually really well done.  I was afraid it was going to be like movie four through six - complete and total crap that went against the books so much that my senses could not handle it.  I was pleasantly wrong.  I can not wait for it to come out. 

I think that about sums stuff up for today.  Phew.

Until we meet again, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Lazy Day.

It is totally a lazy day today.  I have no where to go, nothing to do (sans homework, of course), and no one to see.  It's the middle of the week.

I plan on doing nothing today.  I'll do my homework, of course, but that is about it.  I'm taking a day to stay in my pajama's, to catch up on reading, and to do some free writing.

It is going to be a great day.

Then tomorrow I'll get up, go to school, and do it all over again.  (Hopefully with good results.  Yesterday was by far the best day I've had at school this semester - with any luck, tomorrow will top it.)

Oh, and I'm rocking the Hello Kitty bandage this morning.  Surprisingly, it's not any easier to type with than the Princess one.

And on that note, I'm going to leave you, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Sometimes Rough Mornings...

...mean absolutely nothing.

I was running late this morning.  My alarm is slow by about five minutes and I forgot to compensate for that plus snoozing when I set it last night.  I raced through the shower, raced through putting my make-up on, and tried to race through swallowing my heartburn pill.  (I didn't do so great today; I have trouble swallowing pills, so it's hit or miss.  I'm getting better, but the more of a hurry I'm in or the more stressed out I am, the harder it is to do.  So yeah...)

In the process of running what felt like late in my mind, I sliced my index finger of my left hand with my thumbnail.  The only bandage choices?  The Princess and the Frog or Hello Kitty.  (I'm rocking the Princess one; it's surprisingly hard to type with...)

But I calmed down once I was in the car.  My dad and I had a good talk as I took him to work.  The whole way to school, I worked on focusing on what I need to do, how to do it, and getting myself centered.  Basically, I prayed.  Because honestly, that is sometimes the only thing that works for me.

I made it to school with twenty minutes to spare.  I ate a cinnamon danish for breakfast in the car before going in to class.  My first class went better than expected.  The homework got pushed off till Thursday (yay!) and we got the choice of working in pairs or by ourselves (another yay!) for the in class stuff. 

Psychology was good.  We have to write a paper about where we are and what we're doing with our lives.  It's a question that I hate when people ask me about because really, at age 20, I don't know where I want to go just yet.  But it shouldn't be that hard to write anyway.  The lecture was interesting, but I'm not entirely sure I remember what it was about.  That might not be a good thing...

My writing instructor liked my idea for my portfolio piece.  She also likes the poem I wrote last week enough that she asked permission to share it with the class on Thursday. =D I like how it turned out, as well.

Public speaking was good.  We're getting ready to give another speech.  This time it's informative; I don't know what I'm going to do mine on, but I have all of Spring Break to work it out.

Lunch was good too.  I caved and bought a sandwhich against my better judgement.  Going up to the second floor student area, there were actually places to sit.  As in empty tables, guys.  It was amazing.  I sat at a table, ate my sandwhich and planned out my writing proposal. 

And I took initative in other areas over lunch.  Did we talk?  No.  He did homework and I read.  But I got a smile out of it, the first smile I've been allowed to witness from him.  It was incredible; his whole face seemed to light up.  I'll take it.

I also saw a fellow classmate from last fall, two bald eagles, and was able to drive home with the windows down.  All in all, a great day.

This goes to show, my dear readers, that you can not judge your day by how your morning starts. 

Until we meet again,

~Meaghan

Oh My Gosh, You Guys.

You know how I blogged earlier about how my day was kind of crappy and whatnot?  Well...it got better.

You are never going to guess what just happened.

I got in contact with my mom's brother (aka, my uncle) via Facebook. 

Yes.  It is amazing.  I can not even put it into words. 

Some background, if you so desire it, dear readers.  (And if you don't desire it.  Take it or leave it, folks, cause it's coming any way.)

This is the side of my family that I basically only know snippets about.  We keep in touch with my great-aunt, and that really is about it.  My mom tells stories from time to time about them, but she's not on speaking terms with her mom; it always felt kind of like a distant thing.

And then her dad died, and the snowball started rolling.

Long story short, she started talking to her older brother again.  And he started talking back.  Now there's a whole dialogue going on, where missing parts are being filled in.

And now I'm a part of that too.

It's so incredible, guys.  I suddenly have an uncle on my mom's side, a connection to things that felt unknown.  I feel a little overwhelmed, acutally.  This may not be that coherent, lol.

My mom's been really cool about the whole thing.  Every time they've emailed, she's let the rest of us know what's going on.  When he - my uncle - told her he was on Facebook, she told me.  I decided to look him up; she watched as I found his page and the two of us looked at it.

I feel so amazed that it has come about this way.  I think I may need to write about it later, when I can actually think.  Right now, I feel dazed.

That being said, I think this means the rest of this week is going to be great.  I got my thesis actually done, so skipping class is really no longer an option.  Besides (and I've said it before, I'll say it again), what can they do to me?

Nothing.

I'm still planning on talking to my writing instructor tomorrow, and at some point I need to see an advisor, but we shall cross those bridges when they come about.

(Same with the guy I see in the hall - not in my hands, not anymore. )

Ok, I'm going to go try to sort through my thoughts.  This has been a most amazing Monday night. =)

~Meaghan

It's Monday.

Monday is that day of the week that gets a bad rap.  The work week starts up again; the school week is either starting or (in my case) about to.  It's the day no one wants to get out of bed.  No one wants to do anything, really.

Myself included.

I have school tomorrow.  I do not have my homework done yet.  Skipping my first class is sounding more and more tempting.  It's a great thing, being able to go to school.  Skipping only hurts myself.  But it sounds so nice.  I could use that time to write my paper for Thursday.  Or to just catch up on some reading.

I was really good last semester.  I only missed one lecture in my History class and one class in Creative Writing I.  Both were because I was stuck at the doctor's office with some sort of lung thing.  I went to school sick on mulitple occasions because I knew I would struggle more if I missed class, especially that History class.  (I'm still amazed and pleased I passed it with an A and that the instructor remembers me...) 

Music class I missed more than I probably should have.  He didn't count attendence as part of the grade and the class was boring-ish.  So I skipped probably about four times; one of those times was when I was sick and at the doctor's, so I'm not sure it counts.  And I still made an A in the class.

Who am I kidding here?  It's my money I waste by not going to class.  I'll end up going tomorrow.  I'll get the homework done at some point between now and then.  I almost always do.

I had a horrible migraine today.  I haven't had one that bad in a while - two Alieve liquid gels, an ice pack, and laying down with the covers over my head for an hour.  I still feel a little weird from it.  Migraines always make me feel washed out afterwards; they drain a lot of energy.  It's crazy.

My cricket story is still progressing nicely.  I think I'll finish writing it when I'm done updating here.  I'm pretty pleased so far with all of my writing projects.  I like seeing myself progress as a writer; seeing my characters grow is nice, too.

Still haven't heard back about that writing contest I entered.  I think that if I don't win, then I'll write something else and enter another one in the fall.  It would still be cool to be published nationally, though.  That's more or less why I want to win.  Not for the money, not for the recognition, but for the exposure.  It would be amazing to be able to get my foot in the door in such a competitive market.

I think that's going to be all for now, guys and gals.  I'm still feeling a bit out of it.  I'll update again later.

Happy Monday.

~Meaghan

I Jinxed Myself.

I got all excited because I thought it was going to rain (I mean, it was sprinkling a little, that has to count for something here) and then it didn't.  What a bummer.

And then I got a crappy night's sleep because of it.  Or maybe it was all the Dr. Pepper I consumed yesterday.  (I'm a college student and I'm officially addicted to caffine or however you spell it.  Coffee? Check.  Soda?  Oh yes.  Chocolate?  Are you kidding?  Of course!)

Whatever it was, I could not sleep last night to save my life.  It's like when you spend the night at a friends house and they have a loud furnace.  Now, you're used to having very little noise in your home, but because of your friend's furnace, their place makes a ton of noise.  So every little sound wakes you up through out the night.  It's like sleeping on pins and needles - you're just waiting for a noise to come on and wake you up by the end.

And then when you do get up, you feel like you haven't slept in over a week.  Your neck is stiff, your head is ringing, and yet you are oddly awake and ready to go.

That is how I feel this morning.  I really wanted to sleep until like nine, but it is not going to happen.  And now I have to face my day feeling like something the cat dragged in.  Blargh.

Oh, so you guys know how I updated my Myspace page?  It's something I do like every two or three years at this rate, right?  Well, now I keep getting friend requests from random people on there.  Seriously.  Complete strangers want to be my "friends" now. 

I don't mind if you guys want to be my friends, but let me know where you know me from.  It can be from here, or from school, or from when I lived in a different state, etc.  Just let me know.  Because if I don't know where you're coming from or why you want to be my "friend", I'm not going to accept the request.  It is just the way I am.

I have to write this rough draft for Thursday in my English class.  It's an argumentative paper, the one I'm doing on the holidays.  I have to have a working thesis for Tuesday.  I was thinking that I could just do the thesis today and then get the rough draft written on like, oh say, Wednesday. 

Yeah, at two in the morning I realized: that's not going to work.  In order to have a good, solid "working" thesis, I need to write the rough draft first.  Because, as with my History class last semester and with my Bio class the spring before, thesis statements change when you write the paper.

(This is why I prefer creative writing over normal English.  Yes, there are rules and guidelines, but you don't have to write thesis statements, abstracts, headings, and citations.  Citing drives me insane.  Thesis statements just confuse me.  And abstracts?  You tell the reader what you're going to tell them in the paper, then you tell them in the paper, and then you summarize what you just told them.  No thank you.  I'll stick to my character developement, thanks.)

Of course, realizing things at that time is a dangerous thing anyway.  Mainly because your mind is in a weird state of being.  Have you ever noticed that?  At odd hours in the morning, things that are stupid and lame seem hilarious.  Things that are normal seem terrifying.  It's amazing to me how the brain reacts.

Oh! And another thing I was thinking about at two or three or whatever time it was this morning: I get a new license this summer.

That's right.  I turn twenty one this July.  Which means several things. 

1. I'm getting older and my acne should, in theory, go away. (Whoever said it was a teenage condition should be shot.  Just saying.)

2. I'm going to be able to legally drink, gamble, sign a contract, and get my own apartment (if I was working and not in school).

3. My license will be sideways (horizontal) instead of up and down (vertical), which means my friends can't give me hard time any more about which way mine goes.  (Long story short, one of my "friends" came to me for relationship advice - which, why me I don't know, cause I've never dated anyone - and then told me she sometimes forgot I was younger than her by like two years.  The license thing came up; it was actually kind of funny at the time...)

4. I can get a better picture on my license.  I was 18 when I got my current license and the lady said something before she took the picture - I think it was "smile" or something along those lines.  I asked her what she said just as she took the picture.  So yeah.  My mouth is open and I look like a deer in the headlights.

It's rather exciting.  I got my current license on Halloween back in 2008, cause I'm awesome like that.  This time, I have to get it before the middle of August, cause it expires a month after my birthday.  Oddly enough, my sister is going to be 18 this spring.  That freaks me out a little.  She's my younger sister; I want to know where the time went.

Oh well.  It's an adventure, isn't it?  Life.  I'm trying to be more positive, more happy, more optimistic.  I think I'm getting there.  Although, I did spent part of this weekend toying with the idea of skipping English class on Tuesday and instead just wasting time until my Psychology class.

Did I tell you guys about the crappy group experience I had on Thursday?  I'll spare the details cause it's over and done, but the gist of it was that my group didn't want to work.  I ended up typing the assignment up and as I was doing so, one of the girls in particular kept nit picking at my stuff.  It was awful.  Honestly, I don't care for group work to begin with.  I would much rather just do it myself.

But I won't skip.  I won't go in late.  I'll step up to the plate and take it like a woman.   Besides, what can they honestly do to me?  Nothing. 

Ok, I'm getting off.  I need to get this day snowballing.  Homework, going out with my friend, and I think I'm supposed to call the skating rink to get info for lessons.  Wish me luck!

Until the next time, dear readers.

~Meaghan

I Love the Rain!

Enough said.

It's sprinkling right now.  It's supposed to turn into snow tomorrow and then do it again on Thursday.  I'm hoping for at least one good thunder boomer before then.  Maybe tonight as I go to sleep.

Being from the Midwest originally, I really miss the thunder storms.  Yeah, we get 'em here.  But they aren't quite the same.  There is nothing more amazing than a thunder storm putting you to sleep.  It is the best night of sleep you will get.

Outside of camping in places without mountain lions. :)

Until tomorrow, dear readers.

~Meaghan

The War is On.

I'm waging war against the bathroom scale.  I have been for a long time, but now I'm finally seeing some results here.

Here's the deal.  It's not that I'm unhappy where I am.  Truth be told, I'm actually very happy where I am - I am successful at school, my writing is improving by leaps and bounds, my family and I get along great, my sister and I are talking about getting a place once I get out of college, and I look great for what I weigh, even if that may not be a size ten.

The only reason I want to lose weight is because of all the medical stuff that runs in my family.  Heart attacks, high blood pressure, diabetes, clogged arteries, etc.  I haven't ever had a problem with those things, but I want to make sure I don't have a problem with those things.  If that makes sense.

Basically, I want to stay healthy.  This year has been pretty good so far.  I've only been sick once and it lasted about a week and a half.  My asthma has been killing me, but that's pretty normal for spring.  (All the pollen, budding trees, and temperature changes kill.  But I still love spring.)

In January I went on this huge health thing where I was trying to work out and cut back on what I was eating.  It was slow progress that I'm not even sure was progress.  I ended up stopping it.  I started taking the elevator at school because of my lungs and how heavy my backpack is, I stopped actively working out, and I started eating whatever I felt like.

For the record, if you listen to your body and eat what it tells you to eat, you can't really go wrong.  The human body is awesome in that it knows what you need and will guide you to it.

So, I got on the scale this morning.  I'm at the lowest weight I've been at in over a year.  I feel like doing a victory dance.  And to top it off, my clothes are fitting better.  And I can see a waist actually starting to come back on me.  I'm getting my figure back.

I have no idea what I'm doing, though.  I eat what I feel like - which includes carbs, sugars, and lots of chocolate - and I'm not excercising that much.  I think what it may be is that I'm not as stressed as I was last year.  The semester is running a lot smoother even though I'm taking more classes.  I'm getting a lot more sleep and my body is adjusting to it beautifully.  (Even on days where I stay in bed to think, I am usually up by seven at the latest.)

So it's exciting.  It reinforces my thoughts that good things are coming my way. :)

On a different note, because everyone loves tangents, I'm writing a new story for creative writing.  It's about this woman who can only skip.  It's not from a spell or anything, it's just a freak medical condition.  Her boyfriend's cat (Or maybe it's her room mate's cat? I haven't decided yet.) is always bringing her dead insects (the most recent one being a cricket) and she's had enough.  So she's skipping angrily down the sidewalk, thinking about things, and ends up in the shadow of a steeple.  She goes inside and starts to cry for things she doesn't fully understand, and at the end, she hears crickets chirping outside the church.

I was thinking boyfriend, cause then maybe he could be cheating on her which would explain why he's never around to witness the dead insects.  But if it's a room mate, then maybe the room mate could be a huge partier and basically leaves the main character to take care of the cat. 

Ah, things to think about.  What do you guys think?

(Also, please don't steal this idea.  I've seen enough episodes of CSI and CSI:NY as well as read enough Stephen King that I know how to find you; and no one will find the evidence, either.  So please.  Don't make me come after you, readers.)

Maybe when I'm done with it, I'll post it up here.  We shall see.

Alright, I need to go write that story.  Homework doesn't wait for anyone, you know.

~Meaghan

Oh, Look at That. Another Blog with a List.

I know I already posted a blog today, but I need to do this one.

I just spent part of the day at the mall with my mom and sister.  And part of that part (if that makes sense to you guys) was spent in the food court.  Sitting at a table in the food court, my pizza from Sabaro's (spelling yet again...?) in front of me, watching people, I made a list that I would like to share with you guys.

It's called:

The Ways the Food Court at the Mall is Like the Second Floor Student Area at My College

1. Both are fairly loud.

 Depending on where you sit at school, you can barely hear yourself think.  Same goes for the food court at the mall.  It's like everyone is talking at the top of their lungs in order to be heard.  Obnoxious to an extent, yes.  But also interesting.  In both places, you end up hearing the weirdest parts of people's conversations.  It does make for great writing material provided you aren't trying to study.

2. Both are busy.

It is kill or be killed, both at school and at the mall.  I am not kidding, either.  If you want a table, you had better move your tush into gear and grab it before the next guy takes it.  It is torture.  At the food court you have the added stress of not tipping your tray as you try to snag a place.  (Please note: this is partially why I try to stay on the fourth floor most of the time.  There are still plenty of people, but it's less competitive for seating.  Plus all my classes are up there...)

3. When walking, you sure as hell had better know where you are going or at least look like you know.

Otherwise you just look like a lost moron.  At least, that's how I feel when I'm in both places.  It's awkward because it can feel like hovering.  The trick is it just pretend you are incredibly confident, know exactly where you are going, and hold your head high.  It works in both places.

4. Both have grouping.

Oh yeah.  You can watch "cliques" in both places.  It's interesting, too.  At college, most of the people are out of high school and so the social dynamics are a little different.  At the food court, you have groups of middle schoolers, families with small children, older people, etc.  All very interesting to watch.

And finally:

5. Both the food court and the second floor of school are better with other people.

By yourself is fine.  Heck, I've spent most of the semester so far entertaining myself.  But it really is more fun if you have someone to sit with.  It's a social thing. 

And that is what I discovered today while eating my mushroom and spinach pizza.  Oh, and this guy from my psychology class works at the frozen yogurt place.  It seems like I always run into people when I go places.  It's kind of funny.

Tonight, we go back to the mall so we can go to the bookstore with my dad.  I love the bookstore.  I have a list of stuff to look at.  It is going to be awesome.

Until next time, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Oh Look. It's a New Post.

I don't know why I feel sarcastic this morning, but I do.  I feel a little snarky.  So if this comes across that way, don't take it the wrong way, readers.  Deal?  Deal.

I just spent twenty minutes updating my Myspace profile.  Yeah, I have one.  No, I don't really use it.  I prefer Facebook for my social networking needs.  Which is just as bad in that it takes up time and, while being a good way to stay in touch with people, is really kind of useless.

Anyway.

So I updated my Myspace.  The last time I was on there, I was 18, still wearing black all the time, and very into Twilight.

My oh my, how things change.

Twilight makes me want to shoot myself.  I am not even kidding.  Now that I'm a writing major and have been studying the craft for a semester and a half, I can see that the books are not that well written.  I may have enjoyed them in high school, but seriously.  Not literature. 

And, as I've said before on here, I feel Stephanie Meyer is a sell out.  She has betrayed her characters and her story for the all mighty dollar.  It's really sad.

Besides, real vampires do not sparkle in the sunlight.  They turn to ash.  You have to invite them in - otherwise, they can't come in.  The way to kill them is with a wooden stake through the heart, nailing their coffins shut, and then sending them down the river. 

Stephen King did it right.

What else has changed since I was 18? 

Well, I like life now.  That's a pretty big one.  I still wear black, but in moderation.  I love the Rocky Horror Picture Show and action/thriller movies vs. loving chick flicks.  I no longer have my wisdom teeth.  I feel more self assured.  Sitting by myself doesn't bother me as much as it did when I was 18.

I still have trouble talking to guys.  I still feel self-concious about my acne and my weight from time to time, but hey, we all do.  I think I'm actually still wearing the same pair of glasses I had when I was 18.  That might not be a good thing.  I still color my hair crazy colors.

It's interesting to see where we all come from.  I like watching the progression.  I think I'm going to start keeping a diary again, just so I can see myself grow into the woman I'm supposed to become.

Ah, it's Friday.  I'm so glad for that.  Time to catch up on homework (which is, thankfully, fairly easy this time), maybe catch up on some reading, and relax.  I'm not going to think about anything too serious.  I'm not going to take myself too serious, like I was doing last night.  I'm not going to over think life.

I think I'm going to go out and have some fun this weekend, actually.

My friend Cathryn and I are planning on going out on Sunday.  What can two young women under the legal age of 21 do for fun? you ask.  Plenty.  We have this tradition in the making where we go to Red Robin, snarf some cheese sticks and burgers, and then go to the mall.

I get some really good writing material from the mall.  The people there on the weekends are crazy.  You've got couples being sickeningly sweet to each other, kids fighting with their parents, bored and frustrated vendors working the food courts.  It's like a writers paradise. 

Why else would they have benches spread out through out?

And on that note, I'm leaving you guys to get my day started.  Have a fantastic Friday!

~Meaghan

Argh.

No.  I am not a pirate.  You know, just in case you were wondering.  (We've already covered this - ninjas are infinitly cooler.  Do you hear them coming up behind you with a clanking wooden leg?  No.  You don't see them 'til you're a goner.)

I'm just a slightly frustrated young woman who attends a college.  Where she likes a guy.  At least, she thinks she does.  And she thinks he may be interested in her, at least as possible friend material. 

But she's old fashioned and believes the guy should approach first.

And it looks like he's not going to.

Which means that she is going to have to make the first effort.

It drives me nuts.  I'm not overly shy anymore, but I still get nervous talking to guys.  Plus, I have this huge fear of rejection.  I mean, I know everyone else has it too.  But I've had so much bad luck with guys - guys who I've never even had "relationships" with - that I'm really nervous to put myself out there.

But I have a feeling like the window of opportunity may be closing.  I mean, I think I really do like this guy.  He was in one of my classes last semester; he's didn't talk much in class. I see him everywhere this semester.  I'm pretty sure he sees me.  So I think I'm just going to have to try my luck and talk to him first.
I'm praying about it.  I think that might help.

In other news, I'm exhausted.  Thursdays are so long, it feels like they are killing me.  It's my writing class.  I love my major (Creative Writing) and I like the class, but it's nearly three hours long.  We get a break, but I seriously need caffiene (Spelling?  I don't even know right now...) in my blood stream just to keep me going.

(BTW, random bit here, but there's a Jack's Mannequin song that says the same thing in it.  I can't remember off the top of my head what the title is, but it's off the album with "Dark Blue" on it...)

Ok, I'm clocking out now.  I need some dinner and some sleep.

Until the next time, dear readers.

~Meaghan

Another Day in the Life.

Happy Wedensday, guys!  The week is half over.  Can you believe it?  February is half over as well.  Time flies, it seems.

I am feeling pretty good today.  It's going to be a great day.  I can feel it.

I found a gift certificate one of the moms from Sylvan had given me last year.  It's for a nail salon and expires on Sunday.  So Katie and I are going to go and get our nails done this afternoon.  It's going to be a load of fun.  I'm really excited.  Spending time with her is so great - it gives us a chance to catch up and relax.  Then we're going to go to Baskin Robbins afterwards.

Before that, though, I have to get some homework done.  I need to re-write one piece for tomorrow night and I need to find two sources for my English paper to bring to class tomorrow morning.  Not that hard, actually.  Just a little time consuming.  It should be fun, though.  I'm writing about how the holidays are too commercialized and that because of that, no one remembers the real reason for them.  It's kind of an interesting topic.  I should find some good sources.

My English teacher is actually really cool.  She's letting us use other materials for our project.  One source has to be a scholarly essay, article, etc.  The other, though, has complete free range.  We can use movies, commercials, TV shows, music, poetry, etc.

I have the perfect commercial for my project, provided I can find it online.  It's for a car and came out around last Christmas.  It says "No one ever wished for a smaller present."  I feel that kind of hits the core of what I'm doing.  That's not what the holidays are for.

I'm working on a chapter book.  It's going to be for young adults and it follows my character from the piece I wrote last semester that I entered into the contest.  I want to see her life unfold.  I want to watch her progress.  Plus, it makes for a great portfolio piece this semester. 

I was going to write a series of essays about my dad and I, but this one is more fun right now.  It has to be something we love and are passionate about.  I love my dad, but I really want to see this story through to the end.  I think this character deserves it.

And that is today's blog.  I will keep you posted on things if and when they change. (Such as boys, school, the contest, life, etc.)

Have a wonderful day, readers.

~Meaghan

It's Funny.

I had the best day today.  The best day I've had in a while.

This whole semester has been dragging.  I've lost a lot of drive and a lot of hope, mainly going to school to slush it out.  It's carried over into my personal life.  It's just been a great, gray blurb.

But today was nice.  Today the sun was shining and it was warm for the first time in a long time.  I woke up and gave myself a positive attitude, and you know what?  It worked.

I got an A on my English analyasis paper.  I had a great class period in psychology.  I gave a speech with dedication and fantastic delivery.  I discovered that my entery for the writing contest I entered did not get lost and that they are just now reviewing it.  I had linguini with veggies and chicken for lunch.

And I discovered I'm not as invisable as I thought I was.
I went and got Noodles and Company for lunch, which was good.  I brought it back to the school, went up to the fourth floor and found a deserted table.  The tables on the fourth floor are huge and set up so that there's a table, the gap for the sitting area and elevators, and another table. 
  I sat, eating my lunch, working on a crossword puzzle, and praying.  Mainly, I want to survive this semester.

So I pray.
Besides, God answers prayers, even if it's in a cryptic, odd way.  (Oh yeah, his sense of humor is an odd one, lol.)

I have to say, after today, this semester feels like something I can handle.  It's about time. :)

Bring it on, world.  I'm ready.

~Meaghan

It's All...Pink...

Ah yes.  Today is Valentine's Day.  The day where couples around the world say "I love you" with diamonds, candy, and other marketing schemes while the single people sit at home, sighing because they are desperately alone.

Here's my take on it.

Valentine's Day, while a nice thought, is a marketing scam.  If you really love someone, you don't need a day to express that.  You express that everyday.  In a healthy, non-overboard manner.  That's what love is - through sickness, health, and every day of the year. 

Diamonds are pretty and chocolate is sweet, but you don't need it.  It's nice, but it's more the thought behind it.  As for having a day solely dedicated to sharing goopy stuff, that's fine.  But I think it's like Christmas and Thanksgiving and all the other holidays. 

No one remembers the point. 

This particular day is not about spending money on the most expensive thing you can find.  It is not about whether you have a partner or not.  It is not about candy or parties.  It is about being with the ones you love.  Your family, your dog, your friends.

(And if we want to be technical here, it's the death of a martyr who married people in secret.  You know, Saint Valentine.  Just a thought.)

I used to hate Valentine's day.  I was always single, always out of the loop, always felt alone.  It was too pink, too commercialized, too much "touchy feely" stuff.

This year, I'm still single.  I still think it's too commercialized.  I still think it's waay too much pink.

But I realize that I'm not alone even though almost all of my friends are dating.  I have my family who is wonderful and always here.  They love me the way I am.  God loves me the way I am.  And frankly, I like me for who I am.  And I'm happy that way.

So happy Valentine's day to everyone, whether you are single or in a relationship.  And remember.  It's about loving the one's you are with. 

Which really, isn't that something you should do every day?

~Meaghan

I Survived!

The dog is alive.  The boy is alive.  My neighbor is home safe and sound.  My poem turned out fantastic (I think it's the first piece of writing this year - so far - that I actually like how it turned out) and got turned in before the deadline.  My speech is turning out well.

I'm pretty happy.

And exhausted.

It was a long weekend.

I'll write more tomorrow.

~Meaghan

Good Lord.

The neighbor's dog decided to have a seizure this morning.  It was honestly the most terrifying thing I've witnessed.

I'm watching the son and dog this weekend.  There was a ton of snow outside but it was also nice and warm, so I decided we were all going to go outside and play.  It was a blast - the son (I'm not going to name him for safety reasons) and I took turns throwing snow balls at Flash (the dog), he dug holes in the snow with his little shovel, and Flash just had a great time eating all the snow and doing her business.

My happy thought?  Oh good, maybe they'll get tired and be settled for the rest of the day.

We were on our way back to the apartment when the six year old decided to build a "snow chair".  Basically, he just wanted an excuse to sit in the snow.  I decided it would be ok. Flash was next to me looking at the snow.  She ran into me as she scratched her ear, which was kind of weird because a.) she never obsessively scratches to the point of physically moving her sitting place and b.) she usually gages distances better; i.e. she's never run into me while scratching before.

I looked down at her and she looked at me with this look of uncomfort.  I looked back over at the boy.  The next thing I knew, Flash had thrown - not casually fallen, not laid down, not tripped, but had actually THROWN - herself nose first onto the sidewalk.  Her whole body went rigid, and then started shaking and twitching.  Her head was at an odd angle and her eyes were not right at all. 

And then she went totally still.  I thought she had died.

The boy saw her and, being young enough to not comprehend things like that, asked, "Is Flash having fun playing on the ice and snow?"

"Yes," I said, wide eyed, trying not to panic.  "Why don't you go play in that snow over there?"

Being excited to be the first person to touch that patch of snow, he eagerly scurried off.  Once he was out of ear shot, I did the only thing that made sense.  I called my mom.

By this time, Flash had gotten up off the ground, proving she wasn't dead.  She was, however, extremely disoriented and nearly fell a few times trying to regain her balance.  As my mom coached me through it, reassuring me and telling me she would be there soon (because she dropped everything to come make sure that I was ok and that the dog was ok - best mom ever, I might add), Flash laid down in the snow.

I hung up, got the three of us inside, and sent the boy to go change his clothes.  Flash was acting back like her normal self; I watched her as I called the appropriate number to reach my neighbor.  I left a message with her sergant.  Mom came over and calmed me down.

Now, on top of this, I've also had the son giving me smack all weekend.  It's not been terrible, but I've had to repeat myself multiple times.  His mom is going to get an ear full tomorrow.

Have I earned my pay?  Hell yes.  When this weekend is over, I'm getting my hair done and maybe my nails, too.

I'm exhausted.

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

Day One of Sitting

So far, so good.

The six year old and I have only had two minor squables (one involving bedtime) and I haven't fallen even though the dog has insisted on walking on the ice each and every time we go out.

So, I'm taking it as a victory.

I overhauled my speech today, making it much better than it was originally.  I'm also working on revising my poem for my creative writing class.  I'm a lot happier with where that one is going as well.

Mainly, though, I'm tired.  It takes a lot keeping up with a kid and a dog.  I don't know how people do it.  I think moms must be wonder women.

And on that note, I'm leaving for the night.  The morning comes earlier than I would like to admit.

~Meaghan

Random Blog from School

Man, you know it's near the end of the week when I can even come up with a good title for this blog post.  How sad.  Oh well.

So I'm blogging from school again today.  Different set of circumstances this time, though.  Last time my instructor let the class out 45 minutes early and I was using the school computers.  This time I brought my own computer to school and am doing this over my break instead of re-vising my speech for Tuesday.

Don't get the wrong impression.  I'm a fairly good student; I'll get the speech re-written before I have to go to my next class.  (Ironically enough it's my speech class.  Huh.  Coincidence?  You decide.)

As I'm sitting in the student area on the second floor, I am struck yet again by the dynamics here.  You have the popular nerds (yeah, it sounds weird but it's true) who sit in a group on the couches making a ruckus as they carry on their business.  Then there are the studious types, camped out by themselves with paper, pens, textbooks, and computers, trying to get things done before their next classes.  There are the loners (most with headphones in, some turned up overly loud), the misfits, the groups of two, etc.

It's like my version of high school.

I thought social lines turned to ash when one entered college or "the real world".  I always assumed that everyone would be able to get along, that cliques would no longer exist as people learned that things like clothing, money, and status no longer mattered.

It appears I was wrong.

Now I'm not saying this is a bad thing.  Surely there are times when it can be.  But for the most part, it is mainly just interesting.  I always thought college would give me the feeling of truly belonging.  It has done that.  At the same time, though, it has merely solidified the notion that I am partly an outsider.

Part of this may be on my end.  I like to mind my own business.  I don't like being the person to just randomly go up to someone and introduce myself in the hopes that we can be "friends".  I'm not that naive.  I know it doesn't always work that way.

I don't know.  Just some thoughts.

On a completely different note, before I get too profound here, it is a beautiful day here on the Front Range.  The sun is shining, which makes the snow look actually beautiful.  The mountains are highlighted; if you've never lived in Colorado, let me tell you this one simple fact: the mountains look blue.

Being a Missouri native, I never thought much about how the mountains looked.  So when we moved out here all those years ago,  I was pretty surprised.  They are blue and "fuzzy" due to the trees.  Very odd, very pretty.

I had a test in my psychology class that I completely forgot about.  I'm fairly sure I failed it.  I'm trying to get some form of motivation for the class but I just don't have it.  At leas the final project is going to be interesting.  I'm doing mine on anxiety disorders.  It's a fairly short paper (my paper for history last semester was so much longer than any of the papers I'm doing this semester) and a power point presentation.  That might prove to be a little tricky, but I think I can do it.

And I think that's enough rambling for today.  I have some extra time before my next class, so I'm going to overhaul my speech.  Giving speeches makes me so nervous.  It's not really the speaking in front of everyone; I do improv, so I'm used to being in front of groups of people.  It's more the preparation and making sure I know what I'm talking about.  That's the hard part.

But hey, it's a necessary evil.  I can handle it.

Until we meet again, dear readers.

~Meaghan

I Hate Writer's Block.

Getting my homework done this week feels a lot like pulling teeth.  I don't know what to write about, where to start, what I'm going to do with it, etc.

It is driving me up a wall.

And now I have a headache from staring at this blasted machine for too long, trying to come up with something good for my creative writing class of all things.  The irony is ridiculous - I'm a writing major who gets writer's block five out of seven days anymore.  I feel like a living joke.

Ok, that's not true.  I'm not a living joke.

At least, not all the time.

Anyway, that is today's blog.  Short, sweet, read with a slightly whiney tone.  But hey, I wrote something.

Tomorrow's blog will be better.  I promise.

~Meaghan

I'm Blogging at School.

And before you ask, no, I am not skipping class.  My English professor was incredibly nice and let us all out 45 minutes early.

That means I have just under an hour to kill before my next class.  I decided to spend it with you, dear readers.

It's still snowing.  I was hoping that school would be cancelled because of the weather, but no such luck.  In a way, I'm glad it wasn't.  Being on campus is a nice change of pace.  I had my coffee.  I had a strawberry pop tart.  I'm ready for this day.  Bring it on.

It's a far cry from how I was feeling this morning.  This morning I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything.  It was more of the anti-social me that has been becoming more prominant as the year progresses.  Being at school is good; it's killing that part slowly but surely.

So for this English class, we are going to be writing an argumentive paper.  We are supposed to be researching topics to do it on; she told us it should be something we are passionate about.  I've started formulating a list of things that I am very passionate about (I may not always show it, but there are certain things that I get really worked up over):

~ Abortion and the woman's right to choose

~How women are portrayed in the media (magazines, commercials, movies, etc.)

~The definition of true beauty and how it's not what Hollywood portrays

~Poor management skills in the workplace and how it does not make for a productive atmosphere

~Men who are chauvanistic (not sure I spelled that right)

And so on.

It's going to be an interesting project and I'm looking forward to sinking my teeth into it.  It should be good.  I like writing about things that I feel something towards; things like the rhetorical analysis we just did kill me.

I think that's about all that's going on.  I may blog again later depending on how my day goes.

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

Blah.

More snow is coming.  I swear, this is killing me.

It's one thing to have a ton of snow and then have it melt.  It's another for the snow to keep piling up.

I've been suffering from the "winter blues" (at least, that's what everyone's been calling it) lately.  I don't want to do anything, be around anyone, or basically live a functional life.  I'm not suicidal or anything; mainly, I just don't care about anything.  School is killing me, routine is killing me. 

Snow is killing me.

I just don't feel right.  I think it's a huge part of the weather.  It's like seasonal depression; I feel it year round but it becomes unbearable in the fall and winter.  I find that chocolate help.  Caffiene too.  (I'm not sure I spelled that right, so don't hold me accountable.)

That backs my theory of seasonal depression.  With depression, you don't get enough of a certain chemical (I can't remember which one).  Chocolate and other foods have this chemical in it and can replace what you aren't getting.  I learned about it in my psychology last week. 

I hadn't put two and two together until this weekend.  I get so washed out, but I generally feel better when I drink mochas or eat a candy bar.  I can be having a crappy day at school (it's been happening a lot this semester, if you'll believe that) and yet when I get a mocha and drink it, I generally am feeling a bit better by the time my last class rolls around.

To the skeptics out there, sure.  It could be anything.  It could be in my head.  But I happen to know my body; what I feel this time of year is not natural.  I've been meaning to actually talk to the doctor about it, but I haven't done it yet.  I think I may wait until I move out just so I don't have to fight with my parents over it.

Anyway.

So now more snow is coming and I'm not ready.  Not unless it can cancel school so that I can sleep until after noon.  But even then I'm not ready for it.  I go nuts having to stay home.  I have to get out and go somewhere every day or I feel the crazies coming on.

Yeah.

Snow is killing me.

Sorry this was kind of a bummed post.  I'll do better next time; sometimes, you just gotta write what you're feeling.

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

Packers Won!

For the record, I don't actually follow sports.  I've been known to on occasion, but it's not a serious thing.

Until tonight.

The Superbowl was freaking amazing.  I couldn't stop watching the game even though I really only wanted to watch for the commercials.  I was the only one in my family pulling for the Packers - my mom was very for the Stealers, my dad and sister were just along for the game.

It was a great game.

The commercials were ok too.  I can't really remember what the products were that were being advertised for, but they were good.  There was one with Adrien Brody in it.  That was an interesting and pleasant surprise; he was selling some kind of beer and looking super cute while doing so.  I mean, seriously.  His hair was almost just like in "Love the Hard Way" and he was singing.  Too cute.  Or hot.  Not sure which.

(Ok, fangirl moment over.)

For the rest of my evening, I plan on finishing this blog and then possibly going to bed.  For some reason I'm exhausted.  I think it may be the snow.  It seems to be taking things out of me: I'm tired, I don't care about most things, I don't feel social, etc.  I blame winter.

I think spring is around the corner, though.  It better be.

And that is where this blog is going to end for the night.

Until we meet again,

~Meaghan

Ugh. More Snow.

I have such a love/hate relationship with this time of year.  It's snowing again and I'm done.  No more, clouds, ok?  Not unless you want to blizzzard, make everything close for the next four days, and then become sunny in the morning.  And even then, I'm not sure I could handle it without going insane.

Such is life here in Colorado.

I'm starting a new project today.  I'm going to make a beret.  I like hats - they are easy to make, aren't very time consuming, use only one ball of yarn, and everyone needs one at some point.  I'm going to start stockpiling them so that I can sell them and maybe make some cash.

The only problem is the needles involved.  I use interchangable circular needles; hats call for a 16" loop most of the time, which I have.  It's involved in a Harry Potter scarf I'm making.  (Slytherin colors, if anyone is interested, because it's the best.) 

So in order to make the beret and various hats I want to make, I have to put my scarf on hold - yet again, as I did this in November in order to make hats for all my friens - and put all the stitches on a needle holder.  I really need to just invest in another 16" loop and an extra set of size 8 tips.  But those cost money.  And the only place I can get the pieces is Hobby Lobby.  One day, though, I will have the parts.  Plus the parts to make sweaters, too.

I think that's about all that's going on here.  I'm dog and child sitting next weekend (yay, income!) which means I will be living at my neighbor's apartment for three days.  No worries, I'll have my computer.  The blog will still be updated.

And now I'm going to go work on my beret.  I'll let you know how it goes.

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

I Made Cupcakes!

And you know what, dear readers?

They were freaking delicious.  Oh yeah.  Tasty little bundles of warm goodness.

Here's how it went down:

I pulled out a cake mix from the pantry.  It was a yellow cake mix.  Which is one of my favorite, I might add.  Typically I like to make mine from scratch, but today was an exception.  Time was short; action had to be taken quickly.

So anyway.  I found a recipe for marble cake using boxed mix as a base.  I made it up, poured it into my cupcake cups, and swirled away.  The result: cupcakes with the best of both worlds in it.

Now I'm on a bit of a sugar high.  I'm sitting here on my bed with my sister and everything is making me laugh.  Seriously.  I'm about to crack up at this moment.  Part is because she is making me laugh, the other part is because I'm just that tired. 

She says hey, btw.  (You should go look her up.  She's got an account over at youtube and makes great vids.  Look for HisFallenAngel4.  You will not be disappointed.)

It was a good day.

I don't know what I'm going to do now.  Maybe I'll subject her to one of the movies I got from the library today.  Or maybe I'll just cruise the internet while we both laugh about nothing in particular.

I hope you guys are having a great evening.  After all, it is Friday.  You should be happy and enjoying yourselves.  I know I am.

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

It's 10:53 PM My Time...

...which means that no matter what this blog time thing may say or what zone you are in, this is the update for Feb. 3, 2011.

(I'm determined to do this.  A new blog each day for a whole flippin year.  So far, so good.)

I got my feedback and critiques back for the speech that I gave on Tuesday.  I was four seconds short on time.  If I had gotten those four seconds, I would've aced the speech.

That's right.  I would have gotten full points.

So it's going to be ok.  This class is going to be ok.  Giving speeches is not going to kill me.

Also, you guys remember how I was having all that heartburn trouble and the doctor gave me some pills to try? (That sounded wrong, but I don't care.)  Well I am happy to report that they work.  I have been heartburn free since I started taking them.  I can not tell you how nice it is to be able to eat whatever I want without having to down a bottle of Tums with it. 

It is freaking amazing.  No heartburn at all.

The only side effect that is driving me nuts is dizziness.  I only feel it when I'm extremely tired (as in, sleeping hardly at all or about to fall asleep) or this past week from being sick.  I had no idea being sick made such a difference, but it totally does.  I got so dizzy in speech class today from the combination of pushing myself, the heat of the building, and my medication.

It's a side effect I will take gladly.  I would much rather be heartburn free.  And, as said before, it's not like I feel it all the time.  Just when I'm massively sick or overly tired.  I'll take it.

I wrote a poem for my creative writing II class.  It's a narrative poem written from my point of view.  I wrote about being sick and tied it in with the Bubonic plague.  I have no idea where the plague idea came from, but it came from somewhere and wedged itself into my poem.  For good or for ill?  Only time shall reveal the answer.

I forgot how much I love creative non-fiction.  Maybe I'm a combination essay writer and short-story author.  I don't know.  I hate being up on the fence about two things that I love.  At the moment, though, creative non-fiction is winning out.

Still don't know about the contest I entered.  I think I should know soon though.  I'm still kind of hoping to win, but there is so much good talent here; it's kind of intimidating.  But if I don't win, that's totally cool too.  It just means I enter another one down the road.

Also, I saw three owls tonight.  It totally gives me hope for things to come.  All three were Great Horned Owls, two male and one female.   (You can tell by the size; the female is huge compared to the males.)  All I have to do is keep praying, trusting, and living the life that I enjoy.  At the moment that includes going to school and living at home.  Things are going to be good.

And on that note, I'm going to leave you.  It is now 11:05 PM. 

Until the next time,

~Meaghan

The House Has Done It Again.

Take a look at this proposed bill.  Just look at it, read it through carefully.  Focus especially on section 309.

http://www.opencongress.org/bill/112-h3/text

It's something new the Republicans want to pass through.  Basically, they want to make it so that federal tax dollars no longer pay for abortions due to all cases of rape and incest.  They want to define and limit it to "forcible rape" and incest if only under 18.

There is no current definition of "forcible rape" in government documents.  That means that if you were to get drugged, raped, and pregnant, the government won't necessarily pay for your abortion.  Because there is no definition  currently, it would be up to the judicial system to decide if it was "forcible".  You would have to make a case and try to prove that you were attacked.

This is a sign of a poorly worded bill proposal.

I don't have a problem with the government not wanting to pay for abortions for everyone.  Heck, you get yourself knocked up with your boyfriend then you should either pay for your own or have the kid.  But the government should not be allowed to deny you because you were not "forcibly" raped.  It's like punishing you for something you didn't do by making you have the child.

No, I'm not opposed to adoption. But you get raped, do you really want to carry your attacker's child for nine whole months? I wouldn't. I would never have an abortion for any other reason, but I can guarentee that if I was raped, I'd be considering the option.


I'm going to take a moment to clear something up for you, dear readers. 

I am pro-choice. 

I am not pro-choice because I believe everyone should have an abortion.  I am not pro-choice because I am heartless and don't believe in having children.  It is not because I hate God, or because I'm a hippie out on the side of the road waving a flag.

  I am pro-choice because I believe in women's rights.  Women have come so far and we still have so far to go.  It is not the government's place to decide what is right or wrong for all women.  It is up to the woman to decide what is right or wrong for her own body and life.  I don't want to backtrack.  I don't want to give up the rights that I have.  I envision a world where one day all women have the same rights as men.

Back to the bill.

This could be devastating for women's rights.  By putting a definition on "forcible rape" compared to just "rape", Congress is saying that in some cases it's ok.  And it's not.  It is never ok. 

If this passes, we have gone a step back.  Before you know it, rape will be obsolete.  Women will be back to being barefoot and pregnant in the kitchen.  You can laugh - it does sound extreme - but it's true.  Think about it.

And no, the government isn't saying that you can't have one.  (At least, not yet; if this passes, that's going to be the next step, I'm sure of it.)  It's saying that it won't pay for you to have one.  What about women who can't afford an abortion?  So if you're poor and you get raped but not "forcibly", then you have to be punished by having the child?

Congress, this is so poorly worded and written out.  Why are you trying to pass this?  Think about the women here.  Think about the effect this is going to have ten years down the road.  Is that what you really want?

I, for one, do not want it.

~Meaghan

So Done with Winter.

This morning it was -32 degrees with wind chill.  Do you see that, readers?  -32 flippin' degrees.

All the schools in the area were closed.  Except for mine.  The one day I really needed a snow day and it was not coming.  What I ended up doing was emailing my professors; two classes I did not show for on the premise that I am sick (I emailed my homework in with the one, but as of now have yet to hear back), one class I went to for all of ten minutes.

That was my speech class.  For even though I feel like a cat run over by a mac truck and then dragged through the slush, I still had to give my introductory speech.  My professor was really cool about the whole thing, though.  She let me go first, thanked me for being there, and then let me leave as soon I was done. 

As said before, she's awesome.  She also gave everyone who showed up to class today extra credit (because it never got above 0 degrees), which is great.

I think my speech went really well, despite being sick.  I compared my violin to my life and took my violin in to show the class.  I played a few songs.  My instrument really helped me relax, because let's be honest: having something or someone you love with you is always a boost of moral support.  And my mom and sister were just down the hall.

(We figured that since I wasn't going to be very long, they would come in with me and sit at a table on the fourth floor until I was done.  It was a brilliant idea.)

I am so over this cold, both in reference to the weather and to my health.  My nose is so chapped that it hurts to breathe and even more to blow so that I can breathe.  I don't sleep well or a lot at night, mainly dozing both during the day and night.  My cough hurts, my ears itch.  It's breaking up.  It always gets worse before it gets better.  I figure it'll be gone by the weekend.

As for the weather, I hate this biting cold.  Everyone in my family is sick and it doesn't help any of us out.  It's painful going outside.  When you do go out, you have to have insane layers on.  I'm all for the happy medium here: jacket weather - not too hot, not too cold.  Preferably fall or spring without snow.

Yeah, that's what I'm dreaming of. 

I told you guys I'd be sick of snow and that wishing for cold weather was a fluke.  I told you.
I think that sums up today.  I'm really proud of myself for blogging every day this year so far.  I'm going to keep it up.

Until we meet again,

~Meaghan