Thursday, March 10, 2011

Day 4: A Song That Makes You Sad

Ah, sad songs.  There are so many out there.  I mean, just turn on a country station and you'll see what I mean.

I think one that makes me really sad is "Her Morning Elegance" by Oren Lavie.

Part of the reason it makes me sad is because the woman he's singing about is such a sad mess and no one understands it.

The other reason it makes me sad is because I've been there, done that, moved on.

"And she fights for her life as she puts on her coat, and she fights for her life on the train/ She looks at the rain as it poors/ And she fights for her life as she goes  in a store/ With a thought she has caught by a thread/ She pays for the bread and she goes/ And nobody knows..."

Yup, that was me not that long ago.  Basket case on the inside, bubbly on the outside; self-injurious tendencies inside, twisted sense of humor focusing on the macbre on the outside.

I'm a ton better now.  School is good, life is good, and even when I'm crashing, I'm happier than I've been before.  But this song is hard for me to listen to without crying.  I've been there.  I know what it's like to not be able to tell people that you're fighting with yourself for your life. 

It's hard.

And people don't understand, either.  It makes you feel like a horrible, weak person.

(I'm so glad that I'm past fighting for my life.  I don't think the feelings and tendencies ever fully go away; I think we just learn how to deal with them and not let them rule us.  It is a struggle I think I will probably have my whole life, but I'm okay with that.  Because I'm here, and I like being here.  Even in the rain.)

So that's why this is a song that makes me so sad.  He hits stuff on the nose so poetically.  It kills me.


No comments: