Tuesday, March 15, 2011

What a Freaking Day.


I feel like I have been hit by a mac truck and then dragged around by a cat. 

Daylight savings time is killing me.  The lack of sleep is killing me.  The anxiety causing the lack of sleep is killing me.  Mainly, I'm tired.  It's not good.  Granted, I'm usually a little tired all the time, but man.  Today I am exhausted.

But it's going to be ok.  I ended up having a massive meltdown when I got home today.  Why I'm admitting that to you guys, I don't know, but there you have it.  I think my problem is that I get so wrapped up in the trees that are about to slam me in the face that I forget to see the forest from time to time.  It's hard.  I don't know how people who are in perfect harmony with the world all the time do it.  I honestly can't do it.

I can be calm and relaxed about things for a while.  I really can.  I know that God has a plan for me and that I am doing the things I am suppossed to be doing for the time being.  I know that even behind the clouds the sun is still shining.  I know that I don't need to stress and that I can relax and let things be.

Even with all that in mind, I still have my days where the ying is not with the yang.  I still get overwhelmed.  Today just happened to be one of them.  It's the kind of day where I just want to lock myself in a tower with a stack of books and be left alone, actually.

Ah, books.  That's what I did today over my lunch period.  I read.  And you know what?  It was good.  The book was good, the ability to do what I want was good, and the lack of stress of trying to impress or work up the nerve to talk to anyone was nice.

I found out I did not win the writing contest I entered.  I'm trying to be more upset about it, but the truth is, it makes me feel like I'm on the first step to becoming a writer.  Someone once said you can't be a good writer until you have 1,000 rejection letters.

I have letter one.  It almost makes me happy.

Tonight is the Jeopardy! test.  I'm a little nervous, but mainly I'm excited.  I really want to do well.  I really want to see if I know enough trivial information.  It should be fun.

That about sums it up.  I feel like I'm about to drown in stuff: homework, family, friends, life.  Good thing I know how to tread water, I suppose.

And on that note, I will leave you.  Time to prep for my test.


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